Constant worry about my son's future. — Scope | Disability forum
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Constant worry about my son's future.

lisabeech Member Posts: 3 Listener
edited April 2018 in Work and employment
Good evening, I'm stressing something terrible about my son who has dsypraxia fine and gross motor skills and mild autism, he's turning 21 next month we are going through this dreadful pip claim which I'm stressing over on top of holding down a job in the nhs which is also very stressful and all I keep thinking about is will Tom every get a job and move forward it's just that he's very immature and acts a lot younger than his age, I adore the ground he walks on, I don't know whether it's because a lot of people I work with kids are all striving and doing well and that's making me feel or worse with guilt at could I do more or what, most days I'm at my wits end, I feel sick with worry Tom has an interview with the job centre tomorrow for universal credits which I was told about via the people who I spoke to on the phone when replying for pip but I've had to try and prepare Tom for this which has caused him chronic anxiety, I'm just so stressed out and so a lone.


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  • lisabeech
    lisabeech Member Posts: 3 Listener
    I don't want to go down the road of benefits, and it's not that I'm holding on to him, he attended most colleges around us and different centres but he hated every minute of it, he loves to study and is writing a book if we mention any type of work he shuts down and will just say I'm not ready I will when I know what I want to do, I believe that of him, myself and husband have worked since we left school and we have always stated how important it is to work for a better future, I'm just so stressed and don't know what else to do, it's not helping that at the moment I'm going through a bad patch at work with work over load with restructuring, and I am just so fearful for his future.
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  • Zaid_Scope
    Zaid_Scope Member Posts: 66 Courageous
    Hi @lisabeech
    This is a worrying period for you and your son. 21 and ready to start taking on the world! I would recommend getting in touch with the National Autistic Society here:  they will be able to provide you with information to help navigate the next steps for your son.

    If he is IT literate and able to job search independently, he could sign up to Scope's Support to Work programme - info here: 

    Tom would get a personal employment advisor and engage in a 12 week support programme for disabled people. Our coordinators will be happy to talk you through the service, so you can see if it will be suitable for Tom. You can give them a call on 0300 222 5742.
    I hope this helps!

    Scope Employment Advisor
    Phone: 0300 222 5742
    Email: [email protected]

  • EveHolly
    EveHolly Member Posts: 2 Listener
    If the boy finds it hard to relate to people and understand them it seems very inappropriate and cruel to expect him to meet milestones like everybody of his age. At 21 I had huge anxiety and did not understand people at all. I worked but was sacked many times and fell out with loads of people. Looking back I needed an interpreter to explain the world to me, why people behave the way they do, what I do wrong, why people treat me the way they do. I have always been angry that such a person does not seem to exist and I was left to work it out myself. Now I struggle with anger, rage and negative thoughts. He needs some kind of sheltered work or study where is can be protected from prejudiced people. His problems must be addressed specifically not by some general counsellor who knows sod all about autism. Mcdonalds offers very structured work. Hope that helps. 


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