Mental health issues
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PalmarosaPalmarosa Member Posts: 7 Listener
edited April 2018 in Mental health issues
I have suffered from social anxiety most of my life and selective mutism.  I do not have many friends one visits me a couple of times each week. This friend is good helps me with shopping and other things. I do however realise his time is limited also l get  bored with no other company.  Ideally l could do with someone to come with me to social events or outings but there is no one. I do know other people but there are busy with work family  and so on. I don't have money to travel to places or the conifedence. I know that the mental health services are over stretched  I don' think it' there  job to supply social support but  how do l get better alone?

Replies

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,756 Listener
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  • MarkinsuttonMarkinsutton Member Posts: 83 Pioneering
    Hello @Palmarosa I echo @Victoriad words. I stopped talking to many people mainly professionals and I could see that they found it frustrating as I know they wanted to help but didn't know how. I have never really understood why social care is called social care as it has very little to do with being social. I am often isolated at home and have few friends who come and see me. 

    Scary I know but take small steps you can do it and that is the only way you can build up your confidence. Document your experiences it helps you recognise that you are making progress. I found this helped me.  

    all the best 
  • PalmarosaPalmarosa Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thanks for the replies l dont want to give the impresion l have not done anything to help myself. I have tried CBT and despite my social anxiety l went into higher education though I did not stay the course. I used to attend a writing group but could no join in with the laughter and joking there. I attend Christian meeting again were there is a big crowd. I find the noise after the meeting overwhelming. There are a few l can talk to but not the others. I have a dog who l walk in the park most days most of the other dog owners keep there distance either because their dog is not friendly or they are in a hurry. There is one woman but l don' see her every day. You probably cannot comprehend how it is. I was told l was shy and would grow out of it. I did not even know what selective mutism as till recently. I am 62 and when l tried to tell my G P she did not undestand. It' hard to explain to strangers and very frustrating for me. It' not that l dont want to speak l can't. 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,756 Listener
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  • PalmarosaPalmarosa Member Posts: 7 Listener
    yes perception is a funny thing and it is often faulty. I have looked for help for SM but it' mostly for children. Do you know that one of the most common places children are mute is at school? As in my case but l was lablled shy. I hope schools are more aware and show and try to help children these days.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,756 Listener
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  • PalmarosaPalmarosa Member Posts: 7 Listener
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  • PalmarosaPalmarosa Member Posts: 7 Listener
    That last is a teacher she does not have time. She walks her dog befor school.I do talk to her l am not allways mute. 
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,756 Listener
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  • MarkinsuttonMarkinsutton Member Posts: 83 Pioneering
    I read a few books by an author called Torey Hayden about selective mutism. They where based on real and horrific stories. I am not a great fan of the cliche 'There is always someone worst off than you' The books did however give me some understanding on what causes mainly children become mute and ways to cope with it. I did find some of the books very upsetting so had to stop buying them. The point I think I am trying to get to is if the children in the book can do it then so can I!

    I'm also glad you see you have a dog. I did the same and it helped me loads until looking after the dog became too much so had to let him go. It gave me a reason to go out which I liked, the dog got more attention than I did but that was good. 

    Wish you all the best and hope you get some support, for me just being able to talk on here helps. 
  • WaylayWaylay Member Posts: 922 Pioneering
    @Palmarosa Try looking for a befriending program in your area? 
  • Pippa_AlumniPippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,851 Disability Gamechanger
    edited April 2018
    Hi @Palmarosa, great to meet you. It might be worth contacting Social Anxiety UK, to see if they know of any appropriate programmes/support!
  • susan48susan48 Member Posts: 2,229 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Palmarosa,
    I too have social anxiety and my speech is effected also I involuntary body movements (twitching, jerks of limbs, head). 

    When i first started badly stuttering I found it very embarrassing, stressful and frustrating. When I’m really bad I either write things down to communicate or try my very best to talk, it take a while though.

    I did stop trying to talk, I was so frustrated and anxious that it was making my speech worse so I stopped trying. I shut myself away in my flat for days and didn’t see, talk or even txt anyone until my friend gave me a talking too.

    sounds harsh, it was at the time but it made me realise I was making myself worse.
    I still have issues talking when I’m anxious, you should have seen me on my tribunal day!!

    The point I’m trying to say is, I understand, but you have to try just baby steps to help you.

    I do hope you can get help and support from someone.

    Take Care

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