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goldspink21 Member Posts: 3 Listener
I'm very low at the moment because of all the pain I'm in and lack of sleep  I also feel quite lonely sometimes I cry at night I get very upset with myself I am going to see a counsellor soon but it scares me cos I get these thoughts in my head that I'm a burden and I don't want to be here anymore.


  • Lasian_Alumni
    Lasian_Alumni Member Posts: 659 Pioneering
    edited May 2018
    Hi @goldspink21, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.

    It's great that you've reached out for help and are going to see a counsellor! Are you getting any support for the pain itself?

    I hope that the community can be a place where you feel comfortable sharing and that we can help you feel a bit less lonely - we really are glad that you have joined.

    I know that you're already waiting for counselling but if you are having thoughts of suicide now, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]

    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself.

  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    @goldspink21 ,
    i have these thoughts and feelings too so your not alone.
    Also I’m waiting on a referral, it’s been 4 months so another few months to wait. At least your talking about your feelings, it’s better out than in.
    Tiredness wont help your MH and neither being in pain all the time.
    Maybe a visit to your GP and explain how your pain, lack of sleep etc is effecting you. 
    They might even chase up your referral, maybe see if you can see someone sooner.

  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,676 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @goldspink21
    Im sorry to hear you are having a rough time, do jump in and get involved here on the community, we are a friendly bunch and many of us have understanding of the difficulties of mental health.
    Senior online community officer
  • goldspink21
    goldspink21 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Hi Susan and Sam thank you so much for kind words and all your help and support means everything to me that I've got people who care and are willing to help me even though they don't me now or now my situation I have a really good husband who cares for me and looks after me I also have my daughter an son who always ring me make sure I'm okay but because I'm in pain 24/7 and I don't sleep much sometimes I don't have an appetite, I start to feel really down and sometimes really lonely they can't always be there 24/7 ,sometimes im stuck inside for days,weeks I can't get out because of my leg and it really gets me down I now I've got my hubby their all the time and he is fantastic but its how I'm feeling bout myself if you get what I mean and a lot if the time I feel such burden as well cos I can't do nothing an we have no social life cos of me I've got lots if friends but I hardly get to see any them and I am going to see a counsellor it is helping me seeing my counsellor just got to take one day at a time.
  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    I know how your feeling, being a burden.
    I feel this too. People say your not but that doesn’t stop the feelings you have.
    Im glad your seeing your counsellor, at least your opening up to someone.

    Your right, one day at a time.

    I hope your a little brighter today
  • goldspink21
    goldspink21 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    I am feeling bit better today thank you Susan especially now I've got someone to talk to and also bowing I'm not the only one feeling like this I now I'm always gonna in pain I've accepted that I did a long time ago but it does get you down you just want one day free of pain but you now its never gonna happen only thing my go and consultant can do is try and help me manage it and its so hard cos nothing seems to work everyone says to me oh you just get on with things with all the pain in your in don't now how you do it but I don't they don't see all the times when my leg has seized up an gone purple when I can't move it,or when it pulsates or when I'm screaming in pain or when I've got a really bad migraine It last for 4-5 days I'm been sick with it can't lift my head up all I can do is lay in a dark room til its gone sometimes I just hate being me . But that's just my life an I've learnt to live with it an if I get depressed which I do I now and have done ever since I had my operation done and had chronic nerve pain 24/7 , I also have panic attacks anxiety attacks as well quite often now I didn't now what they were until I went to my go an told her an she told me so now I'm getting help with them as well 
  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    I can only sympathise about your pain. It’s mental health problems I have, depression, social anxiety and insomnia.
    I think most people but a brave face on their problems, we don’t want to load others with our problems.
    Help from the professionals is vital, I just received a letter for a MH assessment with psychology today, Iv been waiting since January. Hopefully only another few weeks to wait.

    Panic or anxiety attacks are very scary but learning to work though it definitely helps, I also have them.

    Glad your a bit better today 


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