Do my experiences point towards autism?

Farhan8480

Hi there. I am new here and I don’t really know where to post this, so I’ll just go ahead. I apologize in advance for typing up such a lengthy post but here it goes...

Since I was in primary school, I always felt that I was weird. I constantly feel as if I am the odd one out in my class. I struggle (a lot) to talk to people. I can never properly introduce myself to people and I can never start a conversation.I have a very small group of friends that I keep in touch with and almost all of them had one thing in common: they introduced themselves to me. I am 22 now, struggling to cope with university and my ‘hatred’ of people is only growing. I feel very uncomfortable being in public/social situations. I struggle to fit in with people and into social norms. People (family members & friends included) often claim that I may come across as being rude sometimes although I don’t feel that way. I am very short-tempered and I get very angry easily and quickly if things don’t go my way. Sometimes, I just get angry for no good reason and I find myself losing my temper a lot more as I grow. I do not handle criticism well at all despite the fact that most of the time, people criticise me constructively. Some things that I do don’t even make sense to me. For example, if I like a song, there’s always a 15-30 second segment in the song that infatuates me. I will cut that part out and play it continuously for a week or for a month and I won’t get bored at all. I have ‘skin orgasms’ when my favourite part of a song or movie plays. I also find myself closely indentifying and empathizing with the villains in movies rather than the heroes. I like to be alone and isolate myself most of the time. I always justify my actions even though I know it doesn’t make sense. I get anxious about stuff irrationally. For example, I experienced some sleepness nights when I was worrying that my heart was going to beat itself out of my chest, although there was nothing wrong with me. I recently went through the web trying to find out if there is anyone else having a problem similar to mine. Some sites suggested that I take an autism test and I was horrified when I scored 43/50. Now, I’m too scared to tell my parents and even more terrified of being diagnosed with autism. Although autism/Asperger’s seem to explain my situation, I have trouble sleeping at night worrying about the fact that I might be autistic. Am I just a weirdo or is there something I can do about this?

Any replies/suggestions are very much appreciated!

Chloe_Alumni

Firstly, welcome to the community @Farhan8480

Thank you for sharing your experiences with the community, I hope others are able to comment and offer their suggestions. 

If you need anything else then people do not hesitate to ask!

despondent

Please don't rely on lay people for a diagnosis. you need to go to your doctor and get referred to a specialist. If you get a proper diagnosis then you can start to get treatment instead of constantly worrying about what you might have. Everyone is different and that is a good thing, so help yourself by getting to find out what you have.  When you know what you have then ask for help here. I hope that once you know what you have, you will feel more able to cope with it, and get help from lots of professional bodies.

littleruthie123

Hi  these feelings could be a number of things .serve anxiety can cause difficulties you've mentioned .personality disorder; agraphobia; p.t.s.do. compulsive actions too .you need a proper diagnoisis from a mental health professional and get some advice therapy etc .hope you get some answers x

EmmaB

Hi Farhan8480 I would suggest you go and talk to your GP or print out what you've typed and show it to them - as you've explained it very well in your post.  If you are University you could also look up your wellbeing service as they could offer you counselling and/or additional disability support and would be very experienced at doing so.  Getting a diagnosis might help you understand what is going on for you as well as open the gateway to appropriate support.  All the best.  Emma

Madaddams

I'm only just diagnosed at 43...oops 53 (I think) and I've gone through similar.

Based on my experience, you will not regret having the test done. It's an eye opener, everything starts to fit in its place and become understandable. Suddenly you will know your place in the world!

Being at uni suggests you may be what used to be called "higher functioning",  now just Autism Spectrum Disorder, but professional diagnosis is a must.

After diagnosis, you will still be the same person, ASD or not.

Using the old term "higher functioning" is a good way of making it easily acceptable to those embarrassed (for want of a better word) at having not noticed.

Non autism people are all basically the same as each other, but with an ASD diagnosis, you can proudly boast you truly are an individual person and will never find another person like you. No two ASD people will be the same.

With a diagnosis, you can expect understanding and/or help with issues not otherwise available, I wish I had my diagnosis when on my apprenticeship, it would have made life so much easier.

People think I'm wierd, I've often been described as "a bit strange" "crazy" and even "mad" but now I know, they just don't have the capacity to understand me ;-)

Mental health issues can often be "part 'n'  parcel" with ASD, but diagnosis will help that too. 

I find Youtube very helpful to get information and understanding from others with ASD, I recommend Aspie World as very good, there are others too.

You can also Google for online diagnostic tools, which can print results to present your GP.

Choose to think positively about it, and it will be a positive experience; remember that no matter what, you will still be the same person, it just becomes easier to love yourself when you know and understand who you are.

See your GP, insist on professional diagnosis, and good luck!