Welcomes and introductions
If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.

Hi, my name is kate76! New bod

kate76kate76 Member Posts: 1 Listener
I'm new here, and ridiculously having started my latest book which is from the perspective of an agraphobic ive come to realise I am too.

All the fears and anxieties expressed in the first 100 pages resonated with me. I'm awake at 2.45am (uk) and I'm stressing about having to leave the house tomorrow, as I do even if I have to go to the shop for milk. Yet tomorrow I have a long drive and have to stay in a hotel. I feel sick and I get this every time I have to leave the house, but worse when I know I'm travelling for work, 8ts gut wrenching, I get flushes of fear and extreme anxiety.

I am sure my condition is nothing like as severe as some of you, but it's been gradual. When I am at home, I can cope going into the garden but otherwise my blinds are shut, I ignore the front door, hate it if a neighbour is in their garden if I've dared go outside.

I'm I crazy? Any advice? :neutral:

Replies

  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,492 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @kate76

    Welcome to our community!

    You are not crazy! I've not experienced agoraphobia but I used to have a fear going outside by myself, if I was with others it was easier. I spent so long on focusing on strangers, being paranoid that they were staring at me, talking about me, etc. Over time I learnt to focus on myself and the people who were with me. There is no rush to overcoming this fear, take all the time you need.

    i can only imagine how difficult and scary it is to go outside, to the shop and for work. I found a way to overcome my fear by setting myself goals for example when I went shopping I walked to the first shelves then came out, the second time I went in I walked a little bit further. Little bit further each time. After a few months i was able to walk around the entire shop not focusing on anyone else but myself and what I came for. Don't beat yourself up if you feel like you can't do it one day, try the next day :) 

    You will get through this, we are all here for you :)

    Ami :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @kate76   Pleased to meet you welcome sorry what you are going through.

    We are a supportive community who care and share.  Please can I suggest have a look at our posts on mental health for not only a lot of support but hopefully advice and any information.

    Just thinking down to give you some reassurance that you are not alone. All of the community do understands.

    The difficulty is from day to day. Having recently realised the problems of last few years or more. Do not really like going out. Yet as human beings we need to continue doing what we can to cope.

    One thing I would advise is to seek some support. Whether from mental health charities or seek other such support.  We all need some one to talk to and to help and assist us. Understand sometimes the difficulty of being honest and open about how every day is.

    My friend @Ami2301 has given some excellent advice and knowledge .

    One way I have learn to do is the diary have an trip shall we say tomorrow shopping but bits and pieces. Why milk and just a few simple items. Also plan this. Do the major big shop on line. So avoid crowds and hassle, stress. Anxiety and the other symptoms I get frozen and veg worth the time to do.

    Then also do it small steps.  You drive make it a time to suit you. I go late evening or early morning. Have a plan a list to be with me. So mind is focused on that but only small stuff.

    As for driving that one is scary for all of us, do in bits small steps and stop halfway.  I used to drive all over the country buying and selling. So had with me a plan stop halfway. Find some where to eat.  Make time for me.

    Hotels am the same have things with me to destress me. I would take my own music, relaxation therapy. Have things I could just switch off.  Have a comfort box. Bought my favourite books , poems and things.   Have good reading, make sure food I have to eat is not going to effect my anxiety   Give me sleeplessness .  Plenty of fruit and vegetables , light meals .  To make me sleep .  Pasta, Rice,Beans with meals .  No alcohol that causes more anxiety and so does caffeine do not drink coffee or tea.  Besides became alcoholic because of bars and hotels and now clean.

    Strange places and not being familiar is all too frequent in my mind.

    One final thing does not have to be done everything in one go . Break it down. Scared in the garden make it secluded for you. Grow bushes and plants to create a sensory garden.  Herbs scented flowers all help.

    Have a diary to not only plan but use this for talking therapy. Why am like this what effects me. How certain foods and diet, lifestyle can I change to adapt to me.  Used to do a lot of research into my own mental health issues what works for me.

    I also think a lot of work and employment sets off fears and anxieties in all of us who had worked. Those still working. The scale and attainment that we have to achieve. The knowledge we need to start to use to say to our selves. No I can not do this anymore. Understand the pressures and the time deadlines. Remove those and then the job gets done well. I worked in civil service for a long time where climbing up the greasy pole was the norm.

    The friend next to you would stab you in the back to get above you. Friends who became not in your eyes but in their own some one we all wanted to achieve but I did not. Happy has to be doing this for me. 

    Left highly paid job to be myself and do my own thing. Remember life is very short. If employment hurting harming why do it. Understand I left loads to do my own projects or left too much pressure.  No one is asking you to be the best are they but that is the problem in every job. Stress and fears lead to mental health issues. Just saying why another excuse but why became alcoholic and end up addiction route.

    Have a heart be good to yourself be kind. I hope I was helpful I am here to listen anytime. 

    You have written a book great I hope it will be inspirational for others.

    Please take care

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
Sign in or join us to comment.