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Palliative care for mum and employment issues

Linduska Member Posts: 4 Listener
Hi my name is Linda my Slovakian friend calls me Linduska an endearment in her country. 

I am a career for my mum who has Parkinson's and dementia. We were told 6 weeks ago she is at end of life but is still with me and my 3 sister's who look after at home giving palliative care.  My mum lives with me and I mainly take care of her and work 40hrs a week. I have done this for the last two years and also comforting her through the loss of mum's eldest of six and only son forgetting my own grief and continuing in going to work keeping life as normal as we all could for mum. She has had a broken arm and recently a unbroken fema now has a plate in her left leg.  We also know she has small strokes which progressed her Parkinson's.  I've had no time off work through all of this and have now hit my limit of stress after being told mum is on end of life. That pushed be beyond all i can cope with. Ive had 8 wks off work witj stress and now rske pills and the company i work for have now stopped my sick pay and forced me back to work cause i cant survive without pay.  I thought mental health was  taken seriously. I'm far from being ready yo go back as we are still nursing mum. We are not entitled to night nurses that we were assigned for a few week which gave me s chance to get sleep. I now sleep in a chair in my mum's room to make sure she makes through the night. My frustration is beyond words and am wondering can I work with these people who have belittled my mums life and how precious it is to me I lost my Dad 20yrs ago so she is my last contact to him. My heart is torn into many shards and finding very hard to cope with I go back this Wednesday my tum is doing somersalts already. How can.people be so cold to other people's needs. ???? 


  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,798 Disability Gamechanger
    edited August 2018
    Hi @Linduska, and a warm welcome to the community!

    Goodness, I'm so sorry to hear this. You're clearly dealing with a lot at the moment and I'm truly sorry to hear that others aren't being sensitive to your needs. It must feel really overwhelming, but I hope we can help support you here on the community.

    I wonder whether it might be best for you to speak with one of our friendly helpline team over the phone to see if there's any guidance they can offer? You can reach them at 0808 800 3333.

    @Donisha_scope, is there anything you could advise in terms of the employment situation?
  • Linduska
    Linduska Member Posts: 4 Listener
    HI   Thank you for your concerns.

    I have been told by a few people that because its a mental health issue that I have been off work with that they should not have stopped my wages even if it says at the disgrection of manager.  Obvioulsy im not ready to return to work but have been forced to do so as I cant afford to live with out pay.  I did tell them at that they would be causing me more stress but they didnt seem bothered only that the company I works for will cost them money.

    Im not sure on the dealings with mental health issues.

    Thanks Linda 
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Posts: 8,847 Connected
    I would strongly suggest a reassessment for your Mum based on your return to work and a carers assessment for yourself as a starting point. 
  • Linduska
    Linduska Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Sounds like a good idea, my doc has already suggested counselling for me. 

    I think it may be a good idea. At least I have a medical opinion to back me up that they cant argue with.

    Thanks Mikehughescq


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