People not understanding that 18 is the adult age — Scope | Disability forum
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People not understanding that 18 is the adult age

Sholay09 Community member Posts: 94 Courageous
edited October 2021 in Autism and neurodiversity
Hello my name is Shola and I am feeling so angry with this world right now and with people not understanding properly that 18 is actually the adult age and not 25 years old in most countries. I really want everyone to understand more and accept that 18 is the adult age and that 18-25 year olds should be allowed to be with or around other adults much older than them without anyone saying things about it and also they should not have to be put with people their age all of the time as it really does my heading and angers me even more because they are not kids anymore they are just adults now and should be allowed to make their own decisions in which age group they want to be around with. I really want to be able to do something like set up my own organisation, social group or set up my own friendship and dating agency in Birmingham so I would be able to find more easier ways to make and find older friends and be able to find an older boyfriend in their mid or late 20s or even early 30s. Also I would like to go to a university where there would be a lot more mature students over the age of 30 too.


  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    I am sorry but I do not understand why you have posted basically the same thing again.

    There are different ages by which the law functions. For example......

    Children of 11 or 12 are considered adult enough to decide which parent they live with but only at 14 does the law say they have the final decision.

    People can get married from age 14 but only with parents consent. At 16 they can marry who they like.

    At age 18 most children to adult changes take place but not all. I do not know if it has changed but it used to be 21 to make a same sex relationship legal.

    At age 17 it is possible to drive some vehicles but most are not allowed until 18 and some (large engine motorbikes) until age 25.

    Children under 14 can only go into a public house if there is a family area. At 14-17 they can only go in if accompanied by an adult but not purchase alcohol until age 18.

    Insurance companies seem to take age 25 as the age of maturity and place punitive sums on people below that.

    I am sure there are some I missed, lol!

    After the legal ages, relationships are down to personal preference however, many countries have very different views on what is and is not acceptable. In Britain very few people will have a relationship with over 5 years difference below the age of 30. That isn't a law but a personal decision about maturity or lack of it, however it does happen in other cultures much more. Generally I have heard of only a very few relationships with an age difference above 15 years in GB culture but have come across it often in other cultures, such as in the Philippines. As for someone aged 18 to become involved with someone over 25 is unlikely because no matter how mature a person thinks they are maturity comes with experience and the older person is much less likely to accept the difference.

    Unfortunately, judging oneself accurately is very difficult at any age.

    I hope this clarifies things a little for you.

    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Sholay09, thank you for posting this. Was there a particular event that made you feel this way?

  • smiler43
    smiler43 Community member Posts: 32 Courageous
    Hi when I was 16 o went out with a was a lot older than me 28 I think he was foreign  though but was in UK.  Needless to say we spilt for other reasons he was my 1st boy friend.  I must say I changed a lot between 16 and 25 as is very young.. 18 o wpulf say is a young adult and I would say can make decisions but I fèel would need help in making major decisions a 18 is still going to do through lots of changes growing up so I'm sorry but do not believe they are a mature adult my opinon
  • newborn
    newborn Community member Posts: 832 Pioneering
    Just a small typo, I think. In uk age of consent is 16 therefore age of marriage  with parental consent is 16. As you say, you are a legal adult at 18 therefore you can  vote and marry regardless of parental concerns. 

     However, many of the grown ups and elders on the board, and many you must know, and respect,  in your own life,  will tell you that sometimes, you "can't  find  an old head on young shoulders".     Many or most teenagers are absolutely  convinced they are extremely  grown up. 

    But those same people,   ten or forty years  later, will look back at their own younger selves, and see that in some ways,  they didn't  have as much wisdom in making choices when they were very young.   They will shake their heads and say "I thought I knew it all, I thought that when my parents tried to shelter me, they were just being horrible, I was so sure i knew better"     Experience  does count. Experience takes time. 

    Years back, and for centuries,  the u.k. age of majority  was 21.   Studies show the brain is still developing to age 25.   

    However infuriating they are, maybe you could begin to exercise your own maturity simply by standing back a little, giving parents the benefit of the doubt that although they seem so mistaken, they do at least have good intentions.   They will be surprised if you stay calm, agree, cooperate and suggest reasonable  compromise in a mature way.   

    They probably expect childish teenage tantrums if they still think of you as a child.  You can astonish them.  Suddenly finding you responding almost as if you were at least ten years older than your age will slowly, slowly, make them begin to realise they need to see you in a new light.


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