BEAUTIFUL BATTLES WITH IMPERFECTION - (OR) - A CHALLENGE, EQUALITY IN HEALTH.
I hope that NO ONE IN MECICAL CIRCLES, FEELS A LITTLE PARANOID ABOUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY NEXT, AS I SPEAK FROM THE HEART AND ALSO FROM DIRECT PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, and may I say WITH SOME DEPTH and I'd like to think also BREADTH OF UNDERSTANDING REGARDING – IN A WAY - THOUGHTS THAT COME BACK TO ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN AND ALSO FROM LITENING AND TALKING TO PATIENTS although I prefer to say people, naturally, that I HAVE SPOKEN TO ON MANY OCCASIONS, AND I THINK, HOW CAN WE ALL BE effectively wrong WHEN our THOUGHTS seem to be so SIMILAR?
SO, DISPELLING A FEW MYTHS WITH ONE FELL SWOOP I HOPE, ABOUT PEOPLE WITH...I'LL ABREVIATE AS LABELS CAN BE SO STIGMATISING CANT THEY, and depressing, so lets say that AS SOMEONE WITH AN M.H, DIAGNOSIS, mental health to those who don't quite get me maybe, I ...HAPPEN TO RESPECT, KNOW, AND LOVE MY OWN BODY BETTER NOW THAN I DID PERHAPS IN DAYS OF MY FORMER GLORIES I might like to think ..ahh.. AND I KNOW THE VAST MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WITH um LET ME ASSERT HERE, MANY differing kinds of ILLNESS ALSO DO, BUT I'M DRAWING ATTENTION TO THIS particular point - BECAUSE THEY ..ARE ..SHUNNNED BY SECTORS OF SOCIETY, IF THEY ARE A BIT DIFFERENT , or if have poor mobility and it s a case of - “oh dear, what no jolly old hockey sticks today then? The nurse can't have that, you know” but if THEY DON'T CONFORM OR TOW A STRICT LINE ITS GOSH LETS CALL THIS “INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR” AT... EVERY... ATTEMPT TO GET ANYTHING DIFFICULT ..ACROSS TO ANY ...“SIGNIFICANT OTHER” and I'm explaining my thesis as clearly as I can so do bear with me here, and we now, I'll start by saying SEE that there is in fact a clear link between the administering of anti psychotic medication, particularly in the form of DEPOT INJECTIONS I have found personally, and this being from a former patients perspective....AND IVE HAD SEVERAL DECADES OF ....THAT TYPE OF.... AND I'LL GO STRAIGHT ON TO EXPLAIN why I USE SOME OF THE TERMINOLOGY THAT I DO , ... CONSPIRING ….IT APPEARS to be IF YOU ARE ON THE ROUGH END OF THE STICK AND BATTLING TO GET YOUR IDEAS ACROSS, about what's best for you regarding your health ITS MET frequently with "LETS DO THIS - ANYWAY.. CANT BE BOTHERED TO LOOK DEEPER... TOO PUSHED, TOO BUSY, TOO MANY PATIENTS TO SEE TODAY, ONLY ONE DIRECTION THIS BOAT IS GONNA GO IN, CAN'T CHANGE COURSE NOW, TOO CHALLENGING AND WHAT WITH - OUR TIME LIMITATIONS!!, TO LOOK MORE EMPATHICALLY or INDEED EMPHATICALLY, INTO INDIVIDUAL problems OCCURING WITH THE STAID AND TRADITIONAL COURSE and GENUINE AND FOUNDED COMPLAINTS about treatment WITHOUT REFERING STRAIGHT BACK TO THE CLASSIC TEXT BOOK ANSWERS AND ALLOWING THEM TO EVEN CLOUD OR OVERRIDE OTHER PERSPECTIVES that could ENABLE BETTER ALTERNATIVE FORMS OF TREATMENT" .... OR SADLY EVEN, ER PERPLEXING... er stuff HERE, BEST FORGET IT hadn't we?.....AND TO BE SENSITIVE REALLY, I KNOW IN MY YOUTH I HAD NOT THE VOCABULARY TO PUT SOUNDLY TO THE DOCTORS HOW I FELT, AND IF OCCASIONALLY I TRIED TO , IT WAS OFTEN VIEWED AS MORE SUBJECTIVE AND THEREFORE NOT OF TRUELY EFFECTIVE IMPETUS SO AGAIN WITH REFERENCE TO COLONIC ISSUES, THEY DO... I OMMITED TO MENTION TILL NOW, OCCUR WITH MANY, MANY PATIENTS AND HAVE EVEN HAD FATAL OR near fatal consequences FROM STATISTICS AND REPORTS I HAVE READ IN QUALITY NEWSPAPER ARTICLES, AND I DON'T MEAN THE TABLOIDS, CREDIT ME WIHT SOME INTELLECT IF YOU WILL, BUT WE ARE TOLD, OR IT IS ASSUMED AND still purported in some quarters, ”.INJECTIONS... CANNOT... DISTRESS YOUR BOWELS. DEAR”....But I DO MYSELF know AND I'm testament to the fact THEY.....holding back a swear word here AS I GET SO ANGRY ABOUT IT AT TIMES, AS ITS...DEGRADING THIS FORM OF SUFFERING, ITS also INDICATES A ROBBING OF THE ABILITY TO have RECOGNISED that ONE IS equally AS cognisant, KNOWLEDGABLE IN FACT of what is GOING WRONG PHYSICALLY as THE PROFESSIONALS ARE... ITS BRUSHING IT ASIDE, DEPOTS PARTICULARLY FOR SOME AND I SAID MUCH EARLIER THAT WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT DIDN'T I? BUT THEY DO FREQUENTLY..DISTRESS THE BOWEL AND THAT CAN BE TIME CONSUMING FOR LETS NOT SAY PATIENTS HERE AS THAT TENDS TO PIDGEON HOLE SO... NEGATIVELY, ….SURELY PEOPLE, AND DESPITE WHAT WE ARE OFTEN TOLD IN CERTAIN QUARTERS, …..PEOPLE... OF EQUAL OR , SOMETIMES DARE I VENTURE, COMPLETELY EQUAL WORTH AND AS I SHALL GO ON TO SAY, OF A SURPASSING QUALITY IN TERMS OF ABILITY AND TALENT. YET THEY ENDURE A LABEL, THIS BEING THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG.
As a artist I have mixed with many people who have one form or another of - and I'm going to abbreviate again with this one ...an M.H diagnosis or - a disability, either physical or mental in nature, and in truth I have never made a point myself of asking people about their medication status, but because I'm in many ways ...a perceptive thinker it has been assumed TOO READILY that I do this, more stereotyping so may I enlighten just a little here if only to give insight, as I feel things do have a tendency to get twisted as Mental health IS a minefield of DIFFERENT THEORIES... some even seeming to be contradictory, but I'm actually naturally shy when I meet people regarding asking face to face or CERTAINLY DEEP OR PERSONAL QUESTIONS and in fact part of my ...er complaint is that I, on the contrary often clam up completely around strangers or go very sullen if I find myself in circumstances where I feel vulnerable or threatened, and some don't seem to want to credit the fact that you can be both intelligent, thereby mentally “lively” in a sense and yet not conform to the sort of stereotypes who go out of their way to cause trouble, and myself, its true to say with regard to, well, even being heard, there have been parts of MY life where I have been in situations where I ceased to bother to communicate much at all and this isn't a cliché or anything, BECAUSE I wasn't BEING heard so I felt,” look, its my right to say well” what's the point?
There were times I had to take everything that was thrown at me, this being of course UNDOUBTEDLY true of all of us to a lesser or greater extent and this I acknowledge, but I tend to go far more BY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THAT have been either conveyed or more directly confided and admittedly from some of my own input also as, we wouldn't be human if we didn't contribute some opinions of our own, would we? But trying to avoid cliché's once again as we all know this one, we can also listen, can't we, and learn.
So my point here is I know many of “these people” as some still tend to say..er “them” ... does one say US or them, - I wonder, - but yes a somewhat derisive and unfortunate turn of phrase, “these people” isn't it, that s used either openly or on the quiet, about lets face it people who at times long to be called simply “ordinary” at times, if only to relieve the pressure, and please don't start me on the “yeah but they're only normal when it suits them – that sort, I think matey,” BUT you know there are so many reasons for multiple personalities and are any of us, at the end of the day completely“one dimensional” in their thinking always, and another angle being – and - ring out those bells of paranoia, if you feel you must, but never let it be forgotten that while you may fear us or anyone different , please understand, a schizoid, and I'm ducking this rather unfortunate reference or label as I speak, I am truly and luckily I can also often multi task so here goes, but we/they often produce ….great art, ..poetry and prose or literature, in all its subtle and varied forms, and indeed a wealth of 3 Dimensional art and craft, to say nothing of incredible abilities presented us in maths and in the sciences, so that's why I say, these are people of worth... and often, and this being I think even truer if they happen to be of a more literary persuasion, particularly and some people DO ACTUALLY FEAR WORDS, to say nothing of the wariness when new ideas, up and coming theories and concepts that are only just being filtered down to us, BUT yes, literary folk, seem to often be questioned more ruthlessly or pointedly, even - and unfortunately I feel at times when they are wishing to seek some actual COMFORTING solitude, and not instead shunted off somewhere weird, imposing and unfamiliar, and, its true to say that they get blamed “subconsciously” in a way, it could be argued, but its not ONLY in this sense, as its one world inward and outwardly – or you could say “ a metaphysical” doth exist on some level although its probably not understood yet if that's not a scary concept but, you know, they get told to tow the line often more than those who have NOT themselves been diagnosed, and let's leave aside whether or not “other people” should be “rounded up” so to speak,( for that concept would in my opinion, dangerously fuel the whole “lets get everyone locked up right now” just to be on the safe side sort of thing”, solve a few problems that,, I bet”) But, seriously those who do not respond well or even like but possibly might respect a rational debate about sensitive subjects such as ill health or inequality or both, simply because it scares them a little – for I'm not out to frighten, or to rock the boat excessively here, but no, lets be clear,but I am referring, as it still needs to be, to the rights to equal social status for people who have been thus - and there's no drama here on my part I assure you, but some do get “made into a statistic” effectively, whereby they find they do not get the same opportunities presented them, to enable them to get ahead but sadly, on the contrary they are often actively thwarted or held back unnecessarily, or if they cannot easily choose or feel they are able to reach the heights of a career or maintain regular employ, then they must have “a bit of a chip on their shoulder” - mustn't they, but , I am sometimes given to think “yeah but who's chip are we referring to here, those who can't get ahead, or want to pursue maybe more elusive goals perhaps? Or isn't sometimes more likely to be those who want to push and push other people till someone somewhere GIVES AND THEY goes over the edge of the void because they can't cope with the sheer pressures of perhaps.....an unsuitable workplace or form of work itself, one moment longer, and this is a known fact that you can objectively observe or study about society, and some folk then end up saddled with a label that they are made to repeatedly wear in so many social situations, and we know by now surely that it can be one that's very hard to shift but it also presents not just the victim of the label, but all of us inevitably, with so many unnecessary problems where if instead ...ACCEPTANCE, or the... co-HE-sive or “OIL” upon the wheels of EQUALITY - would work so much better for all concerned, as we are as a society connected on so many different levels, are we not?
However , if I h ave been negative with regard to some of the points I have raised this evening I apologise, and I'll close by saying we are - evolutionarily speaking nowadays - coming round more readily to getting to grips with fairer and less challenging ways of looking at matters such as the rights of those who suffer mental and physical health issues,, and there are so many areas where progress is still to be made , even as the clock ticks on by, and surely ACCEPTANCE would be so much more conducive, cohesive and lets not forget SIMPLY FAIRER on occasion, so I say once more that people ALL people have a GENUINE WORTH of some kind of other, and AFTER ALL - the majority of us DO prefer to think that we have a SENSE OF intrinsic value, don t we?, and so, I say, please do not undervalue and do not isolate us, and as is often said these days, DO NOT.....OR TRY NOT TO... EITHER fear or to JUDGE,....what you do not readily understand, for whether we veer toward being someone who considers themselves to be more a part of the crowd or to someone who knows they are a bit different or even stand out in some respects, we are all here on the planet learning to survive and get along, are we not? Shall we try? Or is this still "well then, forget it".