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Trying to stay positive.

SuzanneMD Member Posts: 8 Courageous
In 2016 I moved to Lurgan in Co Armagh, from Mullingar Co Westmeath, I was meant to start a college course on computer applications. That Sept the course fell through, then in the November my son who was 16 wad diagnosed with cancer. As you can imagine it was hard to process. Tommy passed the following March, for the last year I have had a struggle to find anything positive in my life. 

But after surviving an assault in 2005 that almost killed me and left me with permanent double vision. I decided that I had to change, I started reading self help books and books on positive thinking. 
Now I am not saying that it is easy, my first book would have been the Secret, and boy it opened my eyes to how negative I was. I still get negative thoughts but not so much these day's. 

But the books have got me to the point that I am looking at another college course, I am changing how I eat and drink, I am fighting osteoarthritis and the problems with my mobility that it causes. 

But you know what I am getting there, I will reach my goals and I am going to make a dream board for my future. 
If I can do it so can anyone else xox 

 if I can do it so can you xox


  • angel137
    angel137 Member Posts: 51 Courageous
    Go girlfriend! 
  • David71H
    David71H Member Posts: 6 Connected
    Hey suzanne.....Yes you can!
    Had me in tears reading your story,  jus lately am a great big bag of outta control up n down emotions anyway. 
    The struggles so many of us have to go through in life are testimony to how well our natural instincts to survive help us at a subconscious level at the times when we feel we would fall apart.
    I love that you've found some sort of comfort and regained confidence in yourself and took control of your life and said "I can do this". Not an easy task to set yourself but you did it!
    Be happy with your achievements suzanne, you certainly should be.
    "I will never give up, I will never just quit, I will never give in, I will never submit"
    Keep on keeping on and all the absolute best moving forwards.

  • liz999991
    liz999991 Member Posts: 18 Listener
    Well done on staying possitive you say read your book which book Suzanne did you read 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @SuzanneMD   Pleased to meet you 

    Sorry what has happened . Thank you for sharing. May I add like your positivity.

    All of have things and aspects of our life are blighted by incident and trauma. Understand how the relationship and mind, body works to deal with it all.

    Is the first part of inner healing. Have an addiction history I realised all the aspects of my life that have caused me harm and hurting me .I need to adapt and alter look at how I can move forward.

    Going to rehab and the recovery, looking at lifestyle and changes to diet, well being.

    Been eleven years with a lot of will power and strength. Take each day slowly small steps all the time.  All of us have days that are depressed and down but need to try to think of sunshine down the line to others.

    Use this forum for support. My bible and prayers, meditation.

    Always trying to give others my time and energy. Giving them insights and others means to move forward.

    Hope as a community we can help each other.  Inspire as you have shown.  You to give hope, courage and the means to give a life well meaning.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Always in prayers and thoughts.


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  • SuzanneMD
    SuzanneMD Member Posts: 8 Courageous
    One question to liz999991 I have read quite a few books, one of them being change you words change your world, Also although I am not of any religious persuasion, I find that I do like the Dalai Lama's books. I find that his writings cover all belief's Becoming enlightened is one, 

    To every one here thank you so much for all your beautiful comments, it's communities like this that help us keep going. With the support of good people who understand what we are going through, we can make reach our goals. We just have to believe in ourselves xox

  • happy91
    happy91 Member Posts: 101 Pioneering
    This is a fantastic thread and exactly what I needed to see thank you. Well done Suzanne and your positivity is amazing. I am finding it hard at the moment because my soul wants to work, at least even book reading but my physical disability is making that hard right now. Typical of me to want to take over the world even while still disabled. I have come to accept you have to listen to your body and I will find a way to succeed. Even if that means having patience and care for myself. Take care
  • SuzanneMD
    SuzanneMD Member Posts: 8 Courageous
    To happy91 it is hard to stay positive all the time, every now and then the bad / nasty thoughts come in, they always find a way. I just acknowledge them and then tell them to go away.
    I find that with time I have learned how to stop when these thoughts come to mind, I realize that we need to have them but we don't have to listen to them. 

    Take time out and let your batteries recharge, I love sitting in the garden when it's fine, I do this a lot as most day's I find it hard to walk, I take a book with me and a blue tooth speaker. Yes I have a blue tooth speaker, thanks to the bad influence of my son lol. 

    do you know something, I had not listened to music for such a long time I forgot how relaxing it was, now I love sitting in the garden with a book and some music on. See it's the little things in life that gives us so much pleasure, we just forget about them. 

    To all of you take time do the little things you once loved to do, remember you have to take care of NO 1 before you can take care of anyone else xox
  • happy91
    happy91 Member Posts: 101 Pioneering
    So true @SuzanneMD, I have a Bluetooth speaker too and had forgotten the joy of listening to music too. Have recently got back into playing an instrument I played as a teenager. It is those little things that matter so much and make a difference in your day.
  • SuzanneMD
    SuzanneMD Member Posts: 8 Courageous
    Oh yes @happy91 ohh, I am so getting the hang of this reply thingy, you have to forgive me my sight is not too good, but I do get there eventually. 
    I so love music and books, I find that if you read fiction you can be transported to another world, then you have the positive thinking ones, I have a library of them by the way. 
    I find that when you get the right one's you go  "oh my am I really that negative". I find they give you a great outlook on life xox
  • SuzanneMD
    SuzanneMD Member Posts: 8 Courageous
    @liz999991, I am only getting the hang of replying on here now, sorry for the delay, but Change your Words Change your World by Andrea Gardner is one book I love reading it for the 2nd time now, I have so many I can give you a list of the one's I think are good and some that you need a phd and lots of letters before and after your name to read. xox
  • SuzanneMD
    SuzanneMD Member Posts: 8 Courageous
    @David71H Thank you for your kind words, It has been tough to get through this. But I look at others and I think that there are so many people out there so much worse off than I am, then I look around me and see what I have now that I did not have 2 years ago. We my partner Chris moved to Lurgan in 2016 we gave up our home in the South of Ireland, we lived in a tent for 5 weeks on a campsite while trying to find a house to rent so I could do my course and train as a disability officer. We had hardly anything left.
    Now I have my home it is not fancy but comfortable, I have food in my fridge, I can walk not too well at times, but I can walk with my rollator. I can see better than most people, after moving north I can now read with two eyes no one, so that is a blessing. 
    I think of the families who have no home no money or those who have sever disabilities and find it harder than me to do day to day tasks. 
    It then I say thanks to the universe and the powers that be for giving me what I have, I like you will never give in. I will keep on going and when we support each other like this well we can achieve anything we put our minds to. xox
  • SuzanneMD
    SuzanneMD Member Posts: 8 Courageous
    Hi hun, thank you for your message, I agree we can not be happy all the time there are day's when it feels hard to keep going, when you just don't want to get out of bed. 

    But it's day's like this that you have to let your body recharge, don't do anything stressful, I do simple things to occupy my mind. 

    For years I could not forgive the girl who assaulted me, I hated her, then I started to forgive the situation. Not her, but the situation that caused the assault, in time I found that I could forgive her. This did not mean that I had to see her face to face, I just gave it up to the angles. While I do not have a particular faith I do believe in my angles. 

    I let go of my past hurts and hates, I try each day to be grateful for even the smallest of things. Like sitting on the couch with my dogs, and feeling how much they love me. Just the simple things in life, We so often forget them. 

    I am changing what happened me from being a dreadful thing, and turning it around by trying to help others, I run fb support pages for VIP's in Northern Ireland, and I will be an assistance officer one day. then I can help others, if only one person can look at me and say If she can do it so can I, well then I have achieved my goal xox
  • David71H
    David71H Member Posts: 6 Connected
    Hey @SuzanneMD
    You are more than welcome. Finding this site has been an absolute blessing for me.
    To be able to read so many varying stories of adversity gives a real perspective on things. 
    It helps to know we aren't the only ones going through these tough times and that we aren't alone in our struggle.
    The strength of spirit I've witnessed in so many people so far is Amazing. Including yours @SuzanneMD
    Blessings to you and yours.
    D x

  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    I think about how far I've come in the past year which is not easy for me to do. But even doubting debs can see she has made great progress. It helps me to look back on my writing as I have taken time to write down my thoughts and looking back I can see the progress. I'm thinking writing a diary could be helpful for some people. It's all tiny steps for me that give me small wins that can add up to big wins in the long run. Do something scary and something fun every day.  Best wishes.  
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
    You're an inspiration to us all @SuzanneMD :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019


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