Depressed

sandra51

Hi. My name is sandra and this is the first time ive uploaded a comment. I hope i can explain clearly.
I am 52 years old and i work full time as a court security officer. I have been working in the courts since 2008. In 2009, i was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. It started in my hands but now affects all my joints. My hips are very painful constantly. I hate getting up in the morning as i know my day consists of aches and pains. I start work at 07.00 but i wake up at 04.30 as my movements are slow, i have trouble getting in and out of the bath, getting dressed, etc..
I also have asthma which at times becomes very severe and i have to take steroids to ease my breathing. I get out of breath walking upstairs, walking short distances and even dressing.
I was diagnosed with depression around 2 years ago. My dose went from 50mg to 100mg to 150mg.
Everyday is just a struggle for me, if its not one thing its another. Sometimes the pain in my hip joints makes me feel like i am going to fall over and my leg stiffens up.
My job is becoming so stressful for me as its constant movement, walking up and down 3 flights of stairs which has many steps. I just find it so difficult now. I cannot respond to panic alarms as my movement is to slow and i cannot run up the stairs, i cant even bear to walk up them.
Its getting to the point where i cant do this anymore. Im totally worn out, stressed out, unhappy, depressed, i am an emotional wreck. I have bad thoughts when i feel i cannot cope. My kids and my grandchildren keep me moving forward. I receive PIP and as i stated, i work full time. Monday - Saturday 60+ hrs..
I am not even sure what i am asking really. I suppose i just feel on a low and all these illnesses make me feel even more depressed. I would like to take a break from work and  concentrate on my health as i dont feel good about myself at all. 

poppy123456

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear all this. As you work full time you should be eligible for SSP, this is paid for 28 weeks and once this has ended you would be able to claim ESA. I'd advise you to speak to your employers https://www.gov.uk/statutory-sick-pay

sandra51

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate the advice.

Metalliman3871

Hi Sandra, 

im so sorry to hear about your situation, I have lived for 19 years with a partner who is clinically depressed, and I know how horrific that is, since I fell disabled 2 years ago, I am no stranger to pain either, but I just wanted to say, this is an amazing community, so I hope you find some support here, and I’m always around if you need to talk 

@Metalliman3871

sandra51

Thank you @Metalliman3871 for your comment. 

debbiedo49

You should be able to talk to h r about occupational health advisor and they can help you with adjustments at work. If you want to reduce your hours that may be a reasonable adjustment. You need some advice and then you can make informed choices. You should be entitled to absence leave if you are not well enough to work in the short term. If you don’t want to do that and you want to stop working I would seek trade union advice for help with the process. Sometimes you can take a leave of absence and this might give you time to decide. Good luck

Dmb1975

Dear Sandra,

I am so sorry to hear that you are having a bad day, I am sending you all my positive vibes and healing energy.

I would definitely speak to your employer they are duty bound by law to make reasonable adjustments for you.

I am disabled and live with daily pain and depression so I can relate to some of the things you are going through.

If you are ever having a bad day please feel free to message me and I will get back to you, pain can be isolating but the important thing to remember is that you are not alone.

Darren

debbiedo49

Same here