Disabled people
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Asking for help

crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
edited October 2018 in Disabled people
A friend took me today to see a play. The drive to the theater was an hour, the play lasted two more hours. Sitting that long hurt. I also realized I could not ascend or descend the stairs alone. I had to ask a man to lend me an arm up and down.

He was so nice about it, but I felt terribly ashamed that I could not take the stairs without help.
Is anyone else ashamed at having to ask for help in public?


  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,456 Disability Gamechanger
    I know it can be daunting asking for help in public but majority are kind enough to help. I remember when I kept going to London for tests, me and my mum would travel on the train, sometimes there was nobody about to put the ramp out for me as I was in wheelchair, a few strong men helped my mum carry me from the train to the platform.
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • jade54jade54 Member Posts: 10 Connected
    I'm awful i constantly apologise as I feel I get in the way. 
    But in my heart I know it's the other way. It seems wheelchairs are invisible. 
    I find the older generation very helpful and understanding.
  • Sam_AlumniSam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,731 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @cracker
    I am so sorry to hear you feel ashamed by asking for help, I do understand that it can be really hard to be unable to do a certain thing yourself but I think most people are nice and want to help.

    What play did you go and see? Did you enjoy it?
    Senior online community officer
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Witness to the Prosecution. Actually, neither my friend or I enjoyed it: with the intermission, it last 2-1/2 hours and moved very slowly.. We were glad when it ended.

    We were both disappointed, as we usually love plays. The next one will be better
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    I thought about it again. Part o;f it was shame, yes, but a good half was being frightened at my lack of strength and mobility. Had there been no one there to help me, I could not gotten out of the theatre. 

    Thank you all for your understanding.
  • Sue52Sue52 Member Posts: 78 Courageous
    Hi @cracker Please do not ever feel ashamed for asking for help. I now work for the community and every day I have to ask colleagues for help. ( I explained my circumstances). They understand that there is always someone that needs that helping hand. There is no shame in disability 
    take care 
  • crackercracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Thank you, @Sue. I reflected a bit more and realized that I am always happy to help anyone else. Asking for help felt like relinquishing my independence. I must remember that everyone is inter-dependent. I was raised never to ask for help, lest people think me weak.
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