Help for my wife — Scope | Disability forum
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Help for my wife

StevieB57 Member Posts: 2 Listener
I had a stroke 2 years ago and my wife has fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, the last few weeks has been unbearable for her - we attended the doctors the other day and basically she broke down and would not speak to anyone the doctor told me to contact the crisis team as he could not help her? however she would not speak to them either and both the team and the doctor said she is an vulnerable person, we are struggling a lot at the moment with our home - she collapsed in the bath the other day - our bathroom is small and I struggled getting her out   - where do I turn


  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,945 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @StevieB57 welcome to the community!

    I am terribly sorry to hear what has been happening. Sounds awful and worrying for you. I really am unsure how to advise but I can assure you that members of the community will be able to help you and steer you in the right direction. Can I ask has your wife acted this way before?
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • StevieB57
    StevieB57 Member Posts: 2 Listener
    no she has not, she is hardly sleeping and we have been going to and fro to our doctors re her bloated stomach, she is in bits as she cannot wear her clothes as they are too tight for her? she is confused most of the time and does not know whats what....

  • topshoes
    topshoes Member Posts: 442 Pioneering
    edited October 2018
    Hi @StevieB57 i am so sorry to hear about your wife  , the bloating are the drs going to send her to the hospital for investigation , and the crisis people did they phone your wife or  was it face to face 
  • BenefitsTrainingCo
    BenefitsTrainingCo Member Posts: 2,622 Pioneering
    Sorry to hear about your difficulties.  On a practical note, if you feel your home needs adaptations, you could ask the GP to refer you for an occupational therapy assessment for the home to see if any aids/adaptations are available to you.  You should also check if either of you are entitled to disability benefits such as Personal Independence Payment (if under 65) or Attendance Allowance (if 65 or over).  A local advice centre should be able to advise you further on these.
    The Benefits Training Co:
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  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,793 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @StevieB57, and a warm welcome to the community.

    Thanks for sharing this with us, and I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. It must be really difficult on you as well as your wife.

    Has your doctor mentioned referring your wife to a more specialist service for her conditions? For example, there are NHS CFS/ME specialist clinics around the country that may be able to provide more targeted support for her day to day life, which could make a big difference.

    It may also be beneficial to look into home adaptations and benefits as mentioned above. I'm also tagging in @Jean_Scope in case she can offer any advice on this side of things.

    Please do let us know how you're doing and keep us updated, and we'll advise where we can. I hope today is as kind as possible to you both.
  • Jean_OT
    Jean_OT Member Posts: 513 Pioneering
    Hi @StevieB57

    Thanks to @Pippa_Scope for inviting me to join this conversation.

    I'm getting the impression from your posts that your wife has new unexplained  symptoms  that haven't been investigated. Specifically confusion and a bloated abdomen. 

    We are not able to give medical advice on the community but these are symptoms that a medical professional needs to be aware of. Ideally your wife needs to be talking to a doctor about these physical symptoms but if that isn't possible you could take advice from NHS 111

    With regards to aid and adaptations at home you will need to arrange for a local authority Occupational Therapist (OT) to assess your home to see what is needed. As mentioned above you can ask the GP to refer you, but you can also contact them direct yourself. Call your local authority and ask for "Adult Social Care" If you can't find the number, staff at the Scope Helpline 0808 800 3333  [email protected] will probably be able to assist you with locating it.

    Best Wishes


    Jean Merrilees BSc MRCOT

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