My story
JulesA65
Online Community Member Posts: 30 Contributor
Ok here goes. This is my story of my battle with mental health.
I am an only child, my dad has mental health issues and my mother worked full time as a teacher at the same time managing to keep my father out of hospital. He did have a trade as a carpenter (which seems to have rubbed off on me). Mum died just after my 15th birthday and left me with my Dad who hadn't really had a lot to do with me - usually it was Mum that disciplined me. That is when I wasn't being told to shut up or go to my room (where i spent an awful lot of my childhood).
This left me with security issues, and attachment issues. I thought the best way to find love was through sex and i had 2 bad marriages (my first ex and I now agree that maybe we shouldn't have got married just for the sake of our daughter but hey ho) and a lot of very poor choices in partners. I guess i was attracted to men with criminal records as they didn't judge me or look down on me. I never told anyone at work about my mental health as I was scared to - bearing in mind the media's tendency to blow everything out of proportion.
Finally when I was in my early 30's I recognised I couldn't continue as I was doing and sought help. However, it wasn't until I was in my early 40's I got medication to control my mood swings and paranoia. During the time of the lousy fellas, I got kicked about, hit, cheated on, stolen from - you name it, it happened to me. I did have psychotherapy but they never told me what was wrong with me. Eventually I took the bull by the horns and asked a psychiatrist who diagnosed Chronic Depression and anxiety.
Then I met my husband. He suffers with spina bifida but is very independent. But he is so supportive of me, doesn't laugh at me when I think I am being daft, listens to me when I need to talk things through. I also made the choice to work part time instead of full time. My daughter has a steady relationship and I have 3 grandchildren.
So yes my life has improved 100%. I still get anxiety and distressed if I can't make myself understood or I get stressed. I work for the local council in a team that deal with mental health on a daily basis - I have so fallen on my feet here.
So if you feel you are struggling, I really can understand. I have been knocked back more times than I care to think about - but my reaction is to say "Nuts to you world! I ain't going anywhere!". Don't get me wrong - I have come close to suicide a couple of times so I know what its like to be in that really dark place. But my best friend and the thought of my daughter without her Mum saved me.
Recently I have started building with pallets - remember I said my Dad's trade rubbed off on me? hahah. I have built a shed for my bike and am now building a bench for the garden. I have virtually no DIY skills but if someone tells me I can't do it, it makes me want to do it even more. I find using my hands eg building, or knitting or crafting in general a good way to ease my mind and is definately a feel good thing.
If you are struggling or having a bad day - do something that makes you feel good. Go for a walk, talk to a friend, knit a scarf. Or don't stress if you just want to shut yourself off and have a duvet day. We have all been there.
so that's me. I am honest, open and if you want to ask me anything about me or my life or my history, then don't be shy just ask. I don't mind
I am an only child, my dad has mental health issues and my mother worked full time as a teacher at the same time managing to keep my father out of hospital. He did have a trade as a carpenter (which seems to have rubbed off on me). Mum died just after my 15th birthday and left me with my Dad who hadn't really had a lot to do with me - usually it was Mum that disciplined me. That is when I wasn't being told to shut up or go to my room (where i spent an awful lot of my childhood).
This left me with security issues, and attachment issues. I thought the best way to find love was through sex and i had 2 bad marriages (my first ex and I now agree that maybe we shouldn't have got married just for the sake of our daughter but hey ho) and a lot of very poor choices in partners. I guess i was attracted to men with criminal records as they didn't judge me or look down on me. I never told anyone at work about my mental health as I was scared to - bearing in mind the media's tendency to blow everything out of proportion.
Finally when I was in my early 30's I recognised I couldn't continue as I was doing and sought help. However, it wasn't until I was in my early 40's I got medication to control my mood swings and paranoia. During the time of the lousy fellas, I got kicked about, hit, cheated on, stolen from - you name it, it happened to me. I did have psychotherapy but they never told me what was wrong with me. Eventually I took the bull by the horns and asked a psychiatrist who diagnosed Chronic Depression and anxiety.
Then I met my husband. He suffers with spina bifida but is very independent. But he is so supportive of me, doesn't laugh at me when I think I am being daft, listens to me when I need to talk things through. I also made the choice to work part time instead of full time. My daughter has a steady relationship and I have 3 grandchildren.
So yes my life has improved 100%. I still get anxiety and distressed if I can't make myself understood or I get stressed. I work for the local council in a team that deal with mental health on a daily basis - I have so fallen on my feet here.
So if you feel you are struggling, I really can understand. I have been knocked back more times than I care to think about - but my reaction is to say "Nuts to you world! I ain't going anywhere!". Don't get me wrong - I have come close to suicide a couple of times so I know what its like to be in that really dark place. But my best friend and the thought of my daughter without her Mum saved me.
Recently I have started building with pallets - remember I said my Dad's trade rubbed off on me? hahah. I have built a shed for my bike and am now building a bench for the garden. I have virtually no DIY skills but if someone tells me I can't do it, it makes me want to do it even more. I find using my hands eg building, or knitting or crafting in general a good way to ease my mind and is definately a feel good thing.
If you are struggling or having a bad day - do something that makes you feel good. Go for a walk, talk to a friend, knit a scarf. Or don't stress if you just want to shut yourself off and have a duvet day. We have all been there.
so that's me. I am honest, open and if you want to ask me anything about me or my life or my history, then don't be shy just ask. I don't mind
2
Comments
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Hi there @JulesA65,
Thanks so much for sharing your story here. It sounds like you have overcome many challenges and obstacles in your life. It's great to hear you now have a supportive partner and a job that you enjoy, that can make all the difference.
Building with pallets sounds great, doing anything creative has so many benefits, i'm glad you've found something you enjoy doing. Do you recycle pallets that are no longer being used?
Nice to get to know you a bit
Take care0 -
Yes i recycle pallets from a company behind me. they had a load of pallets and i cheekily went and asked if I could have them for nothing lol A few tools from B & M and Wilkos and I was off and running
1 -
Thank you for sharing this with us @JulesA65. I'm so sorry to hear about your past experiences, but really glad to hear you're in a much better place now!0
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Thank you @Pippa_Scope. I hope that some people may be able to relate to my story. Life is a struggle, and I have never blamed my childhood for any errors. I know my issues come from my childhood but I have played the hand that life dealt me. I don't sit on my heels and say pity me. I say OK - that probably wasn't the path I was intending to follow, but this new path may be interesting and challenging. If you struggle to overcome a situation or problem, take a step back and see if you can work round it.
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Hiya JulesA65, Thank you ever so much for allowing me to have the chance to read a part of your life’s journey! What a credit to yourself you are. ???0
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