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Accept what you cannot change

CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,216 Disability Gamechanger
And conversely change what you cannot accept

About 12 years ago my life changed due to a house fire and I became unable to do the things I used to do. I had been fit and active but now I was barely able to dress myself. All the doctors could do was give me more and more tablets. I was thoughly miserable, even walking to my front door was an ordeal. Returning to work was not an option
So this was my life from now on, living with constant pain and day time television  and I had to accept it.
Or did i ?
After a number of stays in hospital I realised that this was no way to live. Something had to change. Instead of focusing on what had been and what I could not do, i needed to make a new life for myself. I may have a disability, I cannot change that so I have to accept it but I am not going to be ruled by it. I may not be able to go to work but that does not mean I cannot work. I am not academic but practical by nature. I cannot accept that I am unable to do things so that must change and I will find things that I can do.

If you have a condition that limits the things you can do it does not have to mean that there is nothing you can do. Once I accepted that I had limitations it was far easier to to change and find new things that I could do.
Is life easy ? is life fair ?
No it isn't, but who said it was ?
Some days the first challenge is just to get out of bed., Some days my meds take hours to start working but every day I find something I can do, even if it is just sewing on a button I will have achieved something
I am very lucky, I have a community respiritory team that looks after me. When they visit, I am usually doing something that i shouldn't but I would rather die doing something than die doing nothing

So moving on

I have spent most of my life learning how to do many practical things, most of which I can no longer do and a workshop full of tools that could be rusting away. But I realised that i could pass on to others some of these skills.
I currently have two workshops where I show the basic skills of woodwork ie. how to put up a shelf. Basic plumbing how to fix a leak simply and how to stop a tap dripping. How to do simple checks and servicing on a car, how to repair scratches scrapes and minor bumps. How to wire a plug. Tips and tricks for decorating. How to do simple repairs and alterations with a sewing machine. Basic soldering techniques and simple jewelry making

For more ambitious folk I teach how to apply a velvet like coating to any articles from T shirts to mugs or even car interiors, a process known as elecro flocking. Spray painting and finishing complete car panels
My third workshop in nearly complete, with a set up for cold wrought iron work and simple welding and wood turning

Yes I have limitations and I have to accept that but I choose not to accept that my life is limited
I choose not to reflect on what was or could have been, I cannot change the past. I choose to make the best life I can for as long as I can

I hope that you to can accept and or change to live the best life you can


Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste


  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
    I wish there was a high five button because that was amazing to read! :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • happy91
    happy91 Member Posts: 101 Pioneering
    Thanks so much for this, what I needed to see
  • happy91
    happy91 Member Posts: 101 Pioneering
    And good for you CR. 
  • Gwendoline1
    Gwendoline1 Member Posts: 215 Pioneering
    Well CockneyRebel, I’m speechless and that doesn’t happen to me often hahaha!
    You truly are an inspiration. Wonderful to read.
    Just what I needed.
    Thank you so much.
    Like Ami2301 as written, I too wish there was a high 5 button.???

  • uniquejourney
    uniquejourney Member Posts: 14 Connected
    you have to accept your you. 
    but what you do with your gifts is up to you!!
  • thenunn
    thenunn Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Very well said rebel ,and congratulations on your workshops. Acceptance is the key and not with a miserable face but a smile . And yes there will be days when we have self pitying moments ,that's ok and all part of acceptence,the trick is to not dwell there . Life is beautiful,wonderful and no matter out situation we all worth it ,all necessary,all helpful to someone . Happy Tuesday :) 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @CockneyRebel Thanks for sharing your thoughts about adapting to your disability.

    I understand a lot of it and do know we as a community who ever they may be . Struggle and strive to cope.

    With changes and alterations to lifestyle .  Social and anything else practical. You can do this is always in my mind.

    Remember success comes in cans not cannot.

    Hope you are OK been a while. Have not spoken for a long you.

    Take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • Gary64
    Gary64 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    As a traumatic brain injury survivor, I was faced with similar but with some differences. I looked like there was no change in me and thats a nightmare.
    The struggles are the same as yours, the effort to function the same.
    I have said repeatedly the exact words you use over and over again to people. its happened to me, what I do with it is up to me. it took me a long time to do it but I do now. 
    Attitude makes a massive difference and for me it was a life saver. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and got on with life.
    A different life that I planned or expected but MY Life. Lo and behold it is an amazing life I have now.
    Advocating for PWD, a radio show I produce and present about PWD and none of the ow wow is me stuff either.
    I have spoken in Dail Eireann the irish Parliament and have been on TV.
    I am special, sure I am as special as everybody on here. 
    So accept there will be as we call them bad brain days. it happens. Just never let them beat you.
    As regards pushing the limits, always push the limits but Stay Safe too.
  • DavidJ
    DavidJ Member Posts: 51 Pioneering
  • Gary64
    Gary64 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Thanks but it just seemed like the right thing to do. I have the time and I can fight the fight . So I do for those who may not be able to.
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
  • ChrissyDavies
    ChrissyDavies Member Posts: 9 Connected
    Reading that helped, thank you.
  • martins
    martins Member Posts: 30 Connected
  • wilko
    wilko Member Posts: 2,449 Disability Gamechanger
    CR, you have done it again, given people whom feel down, rejected left out a boost to their lives just because we have a life changing disability, diagnosis or what ever we move on adjust learn to live a different way and today people are more accepting and understanding. So remember every day can be a challenge or an achievement.


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