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Learning to cope with disability

keith55 Member Posts: 9 Listener
Hi and thankyou for excepting me 


  • keith55
    keith55 Member Posts: 9 Listener
    I was made disabled after a car crash . Am so lost   how do people cope with thhs night mare . 
  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @keith55 and a warm welcome to the community. We are very glad to have you with us.
    You will find you are not at all alone here. How people cope amazes me, and there are many here who will be able to advise and support you. Only sorry I did not get on line earlier to reply sooner :blush:
    You are among friends, now, and you matter. Perhaps you could tell us a bit more about yourself? We look forward to getting to know you.
    Warmest best wishes to you,
  • wilko
    wilko Member Posts: 2,449 Disability Gamechanger
    Hell hello Keith and welcome, how do we cope? Well for me having worked since 17 to 60 having had spinal surgery I was hoping to return to work farming. But due to a slow down in my progress in recovering I was referred to the Nurologey department who after three MRI scans and specialists blood test I was diagnosed with MS, having balance and mobility problems. I knew then I would never return to my previous employment or any other work. Living and active work life and ministering in my church all game to an abrupt end. Yes I was upset, sad disappointed but I still attend church, I still oversee activities to the best of my disability, just as you will Keith learn to make adjustments in your life and accept what you can now do and learn the things you used to do and enjoy are no longer possible. What do I mis. Gardening, driving for longer than 30 minutes or so, being able to walk the dog, not needing to use a mobility scooter, climbing ladders, decorating, cooking the list goes on.keith we learn to accept and adapt to our disability the inconvenience it brings can make us a better and a more understanding person. Having a sense of humour helps, as the saying goes, laughter make sure he world goes round. Keep posting Keith.
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,216 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Keith and welcome

    For me the key to coping is acceptance
    Accept what you cannot change, change what you cannot accept.
    The only person that can tell you that you cannot do something is you.
    Sure it takes time to adapt to your new life, but you have now joined our community and we do understand. Feel free to come and rant anytime, it can help, don't hide away. If you want to tell us more about your situation we are hear to listen

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @keith55 Pleased to meet you welcome.

    Thank you for joining and sharing.

    I understand the difficulties being disabled after a car crash. Not easy any of this and know as a community. How much of a night mare this is for you.

    I was born disabled from birth and I have to tell you is the first part is the hardest acceptance.

    Even myself born disabled with numerous faults and problems, issues. One time had continuous therapy.  Which may I add was useful but it became the albatross around my neck. Questions and answers never appeared.

    I do believe did not want to go around this vicious circle of denial. Also have to say found my self hurting.

    Now the realisation have to find ways to cope. I wanted to be so different but thought you know what . I have had this since birth and now have to deal with this in my own way.

    One aspect of my life find and adapt.  Use knowledge and new skills to change the way that you do things. Simple things like daily living. 

    If it takes you certain length of time to do tasks or jobs.  Then you have done them.  Another obstacle done.  I am the person I am. Throw obstacles, stones in our paths. We can go over them or around.

    You want to remain independent and single minded. Have a voice, view in life.

    Being comfortable in your own body. Even though others and what ever happens outside in a society. Who does not consider us. What is more important you are not them . That is what you have to say to yourself.

    We on this community embraced disability, illness be supportive kind to you.

    Please ask anything you like. We as a community are here to give the information, advice and how we can be a friend.

    Please always some one here. Hope we can help.  Ready to listen.

    Pleasure to meet you

    Take care

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,154 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @keith55

    Good Day & Welcome ???????

    Yes I found that once I had excepted the new me I was then able to move forward.

    Please have a good look ? around .

    If there is anything that I can help you with please please let me know ?????

  • keith55
    keith55 Member Posts: 9 Listener
    Am so sorry  if i have offended anybody  but am not as brave and unstanding i have damaged my spinel cord  and i had a brain injury .this has only just been diagnosed  as it was miss the night of my crash . The said i had whip lash . But since then am now in a wheel chair and now require constant help. I dont know anybody that is disabled.  Every round ne is abled to walk work and carry on with there life i have been stuck  on my couch for 2 half yrs. Being doped up by meds  looking out of a window . Its hard how do you all cope   ive now started haveing panic attacks  . My life revolves round my meds  . I see brave people on the tv copeing wats the secret please  tell me thankyou all am not moaning or feeling sorry  for my self . I just need a litle advice thanhs

  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,216 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Keith

    No you have not offended anyone here. We all have to find a way to manage and it sounds like you are having a really bad time. You are not disabled, you are far more than that. The disability is not who you are it is just part of you.
    What did you do before this happened ?
    There is always someone here to talk to who will understand, you do not have to feel alone
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @keith55

    I am sorry to hear about your accident. I was in a similar position as yourself, early this year, stuck in a bed or wheelchair (I couldn't move without any assistance). I've lost count how many tablets I take daily now (probably 30+) and I was in a rut. Felt like my life was one vicious circle, meds, physio, eat, sleep, etc. 

    Have you receivied any physiotherapy? Have you been receiving any emotional support?

    Dont feel guilty about reaching out and asking for advice :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • wilko
    wilko Member Posts: 2,449 Disability Gamechanger
    Keith, just having this community here to connect with, to rant, share ask a question we don’t judge or point a finger I know I do sometimes seeing certain people doing things they shouldn’t ask myself why? If ever you are in need of a chat just contact the community and I am sure you will be surprised by the response members give.
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,154 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @keith55

    I have also had a “Brain Injury”

    Yes I know full well how you are feeling.

    I was only 32 when I had mine.

    To say things have been a “roller coaster” would be an understatement.

    Please please contact me if you need any help/support ??????
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,798 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @keith55, and a warm welcome to the community. It's great to have you here.

    Thanks for sharing this with us, and I'm so sorry to hear you're finding things tough at the moment. I'm so glad to see that you've had some really thoughtful guidance and support from our community members. Acceptance and learning to cope can take time, but know that you're among others who understand here on the community, and we're here to support you. Please do get involved, and if we can be of any assistance, do let us know.
  • keith55
    keith55 Member Posts: 9 Listener
    Thankyou all for you kind advice . 
  • uniquejourney
    uniquejourney Member Posts: 14 Connected
    its not about your disability is about what unique abilities, points of view and gifts you bring to the table.
  • keith55
    keith55 Member Posts: 9 Listener
    I was made  dissabiled 3 yrs ago after a car accident  till then to be honest i never be involved with a dissabled  person  and wat more  liveing in a abled body world were you made to feel a burden.  . I have spent the time since my accident locked in my home . Sitting on my sette  i have a spinal injury and brain  injury  with a lot of complecations  i take countless meds ..i have a outside ramp i cant access . Due to wheel chair not fitting threw doorways this was approved nerly 3 yrs ago . . I thankfully have a stair lift to acess up stairs .  My only toilet is down stairs i can only get to by leaning on furniture  to get to. .as a result i realy thought about suicide.  Its all wrong i shouldnt be made to feel a burden . My poor partner is nr breaking point.  I have a 8 yr old son becuse i cant get out side i can not play with him out doors . Is there many people whom are treated this way is this the norm . If it is its wrong and needs to be changed asapp
  • cracker
    cracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    You mean the necessary alterations which would let you go outside have not been made (and those to your toilet, too, any parts of your house you cannot access?

    Do you get in-home assistance? That would relieve some of the pressure on you and your partner, to.

    I went through a similar experience in a bus accident. My  life changed in one second. I am glad you are here and reaching out . We will all find a way, with the help of each other.


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