On the verge of suiciside — Scope | Disability forum
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On the verge of suiciside

Paddie
Paddie Member Posts: 75 Courageous
I go under the name of Paddie but I'm a woman. I've just come out of hospital after a Bleed on the Brain.
Not as dramatic as it sounds but it has re enforced how my illlness affects my life. 
My life is no way near as it used to be. I held down a full time job, which I adored. I surfed/body boarded & always walked the SW coastal path. AND cycled the Camel Trail...
Them days have long gone & to be honest.
i just do not see the point in carrying on. 
Im not looking for pity..... just a quick way out..... PLEASE!
I need to know the best way to take my life & the quickest....
I truly pray, someone, somewhere can help me ASAP....
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Comments

  • Paddie
    Paddie Member Posts: 75 Courageous
    Help me please 
  • Dont_cry_for_me
    Dont_cry_for_me Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Paddie, are you still here?
    Talk to me please xx

  • Dont_cry_for_me
    Dont_cry_for_me Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Paddie, have you had these thoughts before?
    Are you suffering from depression?
    You really need to talk to someone.
    You can always go to A&E. Tell them how you are feeling and what you have been thinking of doing. They have a team that can help you.
    Please contact someone.

  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Paddie   So sorry to hear this. We have talked before.  I am very concerned. I know we talked about your previous health history. As a gentleman do not wish to discuss on the forum. All I can say.  Do and remember members like my self.  Please if you having thoughts of suicide.

    It is important that you discuss them with some one who is qualified to do so.

    Please call The Samaritans 116 123 free.

    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself. Please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    Please I am so sorry . Please if you can use the above advice. I want you to be safe .

    Always here anytime.  As a friend I do have a lot of time for you.

    Speak to me.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,674 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Paddie

    Are you safe? As @thespiceman says you can speak to the Samaritans, they are trained and experienced to support you.

    If you don't feel you can keep yourself safe right now, seek immediate help.

    • go to any hospital A&E department (sometimes known as the emergency department)
    • call 999 and ask for an ambulance if you can't get to A&E
    • ask someone else to contact 999 for you or take you to A&E immediately

    If you need some support right now, but don't want to go to A&E, here are some other options for you to try:


    You are a member of the community and we care about you. 
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,674 Disability Gamechanger
    This blog My Blooming Brain is by a woman with an unruptured brain aneurysm and subarachnoid hemorrhage. I know it’s not the same as you but she’s a great writer and you might connect with some of what she says. 

    https://mybloomingbrain.com/ 
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • mossycow
    mossycow Member Posts: 485 Pioneering
    You are going through greif too. Saying good ye to your old life and its awful. 

    @Paddie death is a bit too final I think.  Logically it would be better to seek help and see what's round the corner before doing something so permenant.

    I have felt so bad too, for similar reasons... Then POP something turns up on the tide. 

    Sound like you need support with mental health but really with finding your new life too. I was very active. . And have had to be like reborn into this new body (which drives me nuts... But.. There have been good things too) and now find out what life has outthere for you... 



    So @paddie, what was your job? Sounds like you're into coastal stuff too... Have to admit I find stuff at the coast hard so I turned attention in land as its easier to do stuff near rivers.

    Which coast do you live on? 
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Paddie

    Welcome to our online community/family!!!!!

     I am one off the “Community Champion’s “ 
    on here.

    Yes I can offer you both help/assistance!!!!

    I suffered a “ Brain ? Injury” in 1998 at the age off 32.

    Mine was a “Bleed”

    Please please let me know if I can help/support you?????
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Paddie

    ”OMG”

    “Please Please talk to me straightaway”

    I’m Here 4 You “24/7”

    Can you please contact me today I’m here right now!!!!!!

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!
  • Paddie
    Paddie Member Posts: 75 Courageous
    Steve51. Spiceman...
    How can you help me, how can anyone help me?
    I spent most of the night in contact with my Priest.... he kept me going but it hasn't changed how I feel.
    Im just incredibly low & feel so worthless & a huge burden to all.
    I am truly touched by everyone's concern but I'm fighting a losing battle & getting nowhere... quick.
    Paddie
  • Paddie
    Paddie Member Posts: 75 Courageous
    Weaver.. I don't know how to respond to you... not yet familiar with navigating this site?!?
    Paddie
  • Dont_cry_for_me
    Dont_cry_for_me Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Hi Paddie, I'm so pleased that you have kept yourself safe after you posted in the early hours.
    Talking to your Priest was good, as you've shared with someone how you are feeling.
    There is some very useful information above left by Sam. The contacts she has given are able to help you. You don't have to be alone in all this.
    As I only joined yesterday myself, I don't know what you are going through with your health, but I do know there is help out there.
    I also know what it feels like to want to take your own life.
    Please @Paddie, seek outside help. Don't sit alone with these thoughts. 
    Phone the Samaritans if your feeling low. They do their work because they want to help people,
    If you feel you can't keep yourself safe, take yourself to A&E at your local hospital. They have a special team to help you there.
    If you can't get to A&E department, ring 999 and ask for an ambulance.
    Your not wasting anyone's time. Your not being a nuisance. Your just asking for help.
    Please keep in touch with the forum here. People do care and worry. 
    Talk in the forum also if it helps you. I'm sure there will always be someone here to listen.
    Kind regards, someone who cares and understands x
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Paddie

    “Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes”

    “I Can & I Will Help You”

    “Please Please Please”

    Talk to Me “ASAP”

    I am here All Evening for you!!!!!!!!
  • Paddie
    Paddie Member Posts: 75 Courageous
    Weaver thank you x
  • Paddie
    Paddie Member Posts: 75 Courageous
    Steve51 how can you help me.... I'm hiding all this from my family. So I can't ring & talk to anyone.. it's assumed I'm low as I've just come out for hospital & so I put a smile on my face & somehow go into autopilot & carry on!
    im not alone but I'm EXTREMELY lonely.
    Hanging on, is hard.....
    Paddie
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Paddie

    We Can start chatting on here 2 start with then we can see how that goes then we can do what ever you are happy ? with. Please please let me know how you feel?????
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Member Posts: 7,945 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Paddie I am truly sorry for how you are feeling.

    I just left rehab/hospital last week after being there for almost 9 months. I am really struggling to adapt. I feel lost, frustrated and feel completely useless. 

    All my life, all I ever wanted was to be independent, I worked so hard to get to a place where I was happy inside and out, but most importantly, I was independent. Then I became critically ill and I lost everything I worked for.

    It is incredibly difficult to come to terms with a drastic change like this. 

    The world is your oyster, there are millions of things to try, albeit you might not do it the same as someone else, but at least you can do it.
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2018
    Hello @Paddie Thank you first contacting SCOPE.  I am glad to talk to you.

    Sorry what has happening right now. All the community understands.

    We really do, I do every one does. We are here to offer any support you need.  I know you have been talking to your priest.

    You need if it is possible to speak to him and ask him for any help.  Whether that means taking you to get the treatment from the hospital.  You need some one to make sure that you not in danger or harm to yourself.

    I know we have spoken before and I am truly sorry what has happened. I am a Christian myself and have to say. Always in my prayers.

    I wondered where you were. I have not seen you on the forum for a long time.

    I want to and do have to tell you have had these thoughts you are having right now. Myself all around my previous health history. That we discussed before.

    I know this is hard, difficult. I kept my illness secret only told my close friends the issues. I had. Also my own family do not know anything.

    Besides they do not need to know. All we asking the need to talk to some one. I did and have to share this. Need to do this.

    Went to the hospital and told the staff there. I know you are scared, frightened in pain and not knowing what to do.  You can do this.  You have done nothing wrong.

    Please talk to me. I know we talked to each other what is happening to you. How can I help and support a friend.

    Remember I am lonely like you are. I want my friend to be OK  . How can I guide you , offer you a shoulder . Ready to listen.

    Please contact me soon.  Take care always in my prayers.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • steve51
    steve51 Member Posts: 7,153 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Ami2301

    It’s great to speak to you this evening!!!!!!

    Yes things disappear over night but we need to make the best of what is left!!!!

    In 1998 my life changed on the 1st  day off a family holiday in “Spain”

    I told my son who was 2 at the time that we would go to the football stadium in “Barcelona”  

    Let’s just say we went to “Barcelona” but the “Hospital”

    We chose a hotel with a trainline at the back.

    The trains apparently went straight to the hospital.

    My “Holiday Insurance” 
    came in very good (£’s) not (thousands)

  • Paddie
    Paddie Member Posts: 75 Courageous
    I don't know how to reply to individuals... how do I do this please?
    Paddie

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