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Hi, my name is AlwaysOne!

AlwaysoneAlwaysone Member Posts: 15 Connected
Hello - I'm getting used to some very big changes in my life -not working is working for me but I'm not used to spending so much time at home alone. I'm fairly resigned to not getting out and about much in the colder weather but how does everyone else spend their time. My carer was sick last week so I only got out of the house once - it's not much of a life! :(

Replies

  • pink_princesspink_princess Member Posts: 131 Pioneering
    edited December 2018
    Hi @Alwaysone

    Welcome to the community you have come to the first place to find help and support.

    Sounds like things are not great at the monment change can be hard going from working to not try filling your time at home with things you enjoy think of it as the time for yourself as a good thing it’s easier said then done. Also as for not working have you thought about volunteering to keep you busy? Could you not have to careers in case that happens then you won’t miss out. Things will get better for you 😀

    hope this helps 

  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,449 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Alwaysone welcome to the community!

    Sorry to hear how you're feeling, a sudden change in health and ,lifestyle can have a massive impact. Everything is trial and error, there are so many new hobbies out there to try, it just takes time.

    Anything is possible, we just have to find the best way for us to do it :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • AlwaysoneAlwaysone Member Posts: 15 Connected
    edited December 2018
    When I came back and reread my post, I regretted sounding quite so moany!! I have got a lot to be thankful for - it's FOMO!  I'm worried people are going to start to forget about me - I keep hearing how much fun everyone is having at work and getting ready for Christmas. Half of me wants to join in , the other half can't get far from the sofa!
  • pink_princesspink_princess Member Posts: 131 Pioneering
    edited December 2018
    @Alwaysone

    You did not sound moany at all we are here to help feeling left out can be hard especially around christmas try explain you want to join in but find it hard maybe arrange something you want to do people will understand if you want to hard talking telling people write it down.

    hope this helps 😀


  • steve51steve51 Member Posts: 7,175 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Alwaysone

    Good Evening & Welcome it’s great to meet you today!!!!!

    Yes I have had to make big changes in my life over the past few years myself.

    Finishing work was the same as you. I have made sure that I keep busy both “mentally & physically”

    Please please let me know if you require any help getting around???


  • AlwaysoneAlwaysone Member Posts: 15 Connected
    Hi Steve - thank you for you kind reply. I'm just getting used to the idea of being 'semi-retired' - my health has improved greatly but I'm struggling with fatigue and boredom. I hate the winter anyway - it makes me feel cold and old! I am a right old grump at the moment! :)

    What sort of things do you find enjoyable? Have you discovered a hidden talent?
  • steve51steve51 Member Posts: 7,175 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Alwaysone

    “Many Thanks”

    Yes “Fatigue” is one ☝️ off the symptoms that effects us all in “one ☝️ way all the other”

    I know what tips mine over the edge!!!!!

    I need to try not to over do things otherwise I will be in trouble big the following day/days.

    Yes I'm currently working on my “pc’s”

    This works very very well.

    How about you??????

  • Antonia_AlumniAntonia_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,781 Pioneering
    Hi @Alwaysone

    Welcome to the community.

    It's good to hear your health is improving, I know trying to adapt to this new change can take a bit of time to get used to.

    When I was a full time carer and dealing with my chronic illness I couldn't go out much and felt alone. If I could not attend a Christmas dinner and I had the energy, I would share pictures and messages with my friends or colleagues and they would do the same. So even though I was not physically there, I still felt a bit included.

    I enjoy blogging, listening to music and podcasts. Hidden talents? Well my knitting isn't too bad. Even though I thought I made the best scarf, lets just say I ended up with a long string at the end of the day. I do need to practise some more. :) 

    What hobbies or interests do you have? You may find some ideas in our Coffee Lounge :) 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Alwaysone Sorry what you are going through at the present time.  All of the community I am sure have this and am still we get bad days.

    Understand as do all of the community. It is difficult and hard to change but you will cope.  

    One thing I start with one small step is to have a good breakfast. Make it want you wish for and need.  Plus good food does not have to cost a lot.

    No news or dreary stuff first thing in the morning. Bought loads of CD's all stirring stuff upbeat and uplifting.

    Classic FM on a morning. Add that into the mix.

    Do a puzzle very morning word search after Breakfast. Takes a bit of time.

    Find a diary helpful plan simple small steps things you wish for want to do. You have no time limit.  Not done today tomorrow.

    Contact your local wellbeing service run by the council have and find their advice on how to get motivated and again.  Used them after addiction to get healthy fit and educated.

    Look at volunteering other options. Always here anytime as a friend to chat to.  Come on here plenty of us around to give you support, time and help.

    Guide you comfort you and be a listening ear.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • AlwaysoneAlwaysone Member Posts: 15 Connected
    Hello Spiceman -  you describe how I imagined retirement  to be! Wake up, leisurely coffee, peruse the garden, listen to music, . .  I'm just frustrated I have no routine - I can't keep it together for a full day - I've had CBT all year just to manage getting dressed, washed and fed everyday - my success rate is still pretty abysmal but I was dxd with Fibro recently which makes an awful lot of sense. 
  • AlwaysoneAlwaysone Member Posts: 15 Connected
    Hi @Alwaysone

    Welcome to the community you have come to the first place to find help and support.

    Sounds like things are not great at the monment change can be hard going from working to not try filling your time at home with things you enjoy think of it as the time for yourself as a good thing it’s easier said then done. Also as for not working have you thought about volunteering to keep you busy? Could you not have to careers in case that happens then you won’t miss out. Things will get better for you 😀

    hope this helps 

    This is how bad it is for carers - I have 2 main ones who have both told me that they can no longer afford to run their cars  and one is sicker than I am - I am genuinely worried about her!  

    I was a volunteer support worker myself and hold thoughts about going back to volunteering - I'm erratic and not dependable enough to do anything constructive at the moment.
    I've lost my identity and I have a bit of empty nest syndrome. I shouldn't moan - I only moved here 2 years ago and have made friends and connections. I started going to Canine Companions and organised a charity event for my Birthday. Wider family members came over at the weekend to do some household jobs for me and a friend from work popped in before her shift yesterday. 

    I need to be patient
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Alwaysone Thanks for reply. Understand the frustration .

    Maybe speak to some one I suggested the wellbeing service run by local councils . Community health.

    I forgot to add. They have wellbeing coaches  to discuss how they can help you. 

    Not councillors not there for therapy .When I came of alcohol as you do. No way was I going back there. So asked my support to find a solution.

    Got this guy who looked at fitness, health some goals and aims at your pace.  Add to that anything you wish to look at lifestyle and anything else. Benefits and anything similar. They do work either all sorts of our communities. Including disabled or those suffering a life changing experience.

    Something to consider.

    I came to recognise my talents, skills and qualities sent me in a direction I am now.

    Just a thought. You can do this. I said to my self. 

    Hope that helps you .Always here anytime. To offload have a chat how can I be a friend today.

    Remember you are a valued member of our community.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
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