Maybe we are not missing too much — Scope | Disability forum
Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.

Maybe we are not missing too much

cracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
A friend in the medical field said the largest number of heart attacks happen on Christmas. I hear many people say "Whew! I am glad it's over".

I am alone with no family, so spend a quiet day keeping busy, though the holiday doesn't mean much to me.

I am sad, though, that no one seemingly thinks about giving people who are alone just a brief phone call.


  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    I know what you mean. People can get so involved in their own little bubbles and can forget their friends or family who may be alone or lonely. I feel like for myself I gave to build in stuff to my life that I can depend upon and not expect others to just know about me. I mean I think it’s better to say heads up I’m going to be alone at Christmas or New Years can you call me or text me or let me know you are thinking of me please? Sounds straightforward I know. I do it for other people not myself. Just try to think of what you would like to happen and try to make it happen for yourself or with people you can rely on. Best wishes
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @cracker How are you my friend.  I am one of the many who just treat the Christmas and New Year as another day.

    Understand the loneliness so make my best effort to think of others who are similar. Especially coming into a new year. So much anxiety as thinking what the future tomorrow brings.

    One of the sad aspects of the social age is the lack of communication from others who never call. Even so you make the best efforts to be friendly.

    One time had this friend who would call every year around Christmas eve and expected me to listen. Which I do but then never asked about me. Then add to that insisted coming to his home for Christmas lunch.

    More the same and he and his partner point scoring, lots of expensive gifts and trying to have a argument over every little foible they had. 

    Piled high plates and all to the bin. Need to leave right now not good at all. Then exhausted home . Never again did not want ever.  To be involved with people like that. 

    The  phone call from fair weather friends may be once a blue moon. When I call no one home too busy . Into new year and one new year eve the texts and all about them not about ever asking about me.

    So I did always the right thing and decided who is worth being a friend.  About ten years ago. Only spent a whole time getting rid of drains. No one wants people who are drains.

    Best thing ever getting rid of people who cloud your mind. Have nothing to offer but harm and hurt.

    Two hours one so called friend on the phone constant every Friday just tired of those people.  All about him.

    Self-centred and selfish .  Never ever thought be on my own.  Yet I am quite happy meeting and talking to what I call friends on here this forum.

    Great to hear from them every day.  Treated well and respected. Kind and thoughtful.  Gives me an uplift every day.

    As for my phone got in touch with the phone company. Put a block on my phone.  Screening device, say yes or no.

    Love saying No. Have to do that now. 

    Something I do a lot.

    One good thing have one good friend and he knows me . To see how I am and if he does need something or help. He knows he had to do something for me. I tell him that and he knows that as well.

    Please take care. Always here for a chat anytime.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • cracker
    cracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering


    Oh, I know those people who talk on and on about themselves. And I listen,
    occasionally saying "Uh. huh" or really?".

    I think people do that with me because they assume that I am disabled, I have no life and am mostly always available. I am a sponge.

    I have a couple of friends who literally begin talking the minute they see me and stop only when they decide to leave. I have learned to turn them off/ I tried talking louder to them, but they apparently don't even hear that.

    I went to a Pain Management today: the doctor is mostly wanting me to get off pain killers. He sent a note to my GP about it. The refusal to treat for pain is leaving many in pain. Yes, there is an opoid  crisis, killing thousands of people a year. No, at 71 and with no history of abuse, I don't find it should apply to me.

    I am trying CBD oil. What a blessing it would be to get off the pills they give and then take away.. One tires of doctors. I think I am going to cut my appointments at least in half, as most of them say they can do nothing. I am scheduled for yet another CAT scan this week, which will show exactly what the last one did.

    I am hoping you are finding good things in your life. Hopefully, we both will find true friends.

    My best to you!


  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @cracker Thank you for reply. What I do think is important finding what is right for you.

    A situation that you have been dealing with your pain. No one likes to be in pain or hear others that are.

    Having had withdrawal of alcohol still have always will. Pain in muscles as I wake up to the day. From all day to evening.  Have pain killers but only take if have to.

    One good thing is that looking at pain relief and making sensible choices. Diet, lifestyle and other aspects.  Which has helped.

    This country is beginning to wake up to the pain debate and what is available. Many lines of enquiry, posts and what is available.  Makes interesting reading.  On this forum.

    Understand in USA much is talked about effects of cannabis and other associated for pain relief.  Restrictions on selling and other marketing have been lifted although I believe it is very much by State to State.

    Correct me if I am wrong. Just get so many mixed messages what is available and the media hype up everything.

    Doctors I know difficult and not easy to deal with. So many times have to ask, plead for support and advice. This surgery different I have, told the Doctor.

    Will do all I can since coming off alcohol and drugs, ask her for advice. Happy for me to cope with my mental health. Due a review a visit every year or six months. 

    You have to understand many Doctors over stressed and limited time see patients.  Especially in rural surgeries.  Where I live around seven minutes to consult. Although can be shorter. 

    I do think look at avenues, assistance to see how you can help yourself.  Only too aware of the health issues you have. Thank you for sharing.  Understand this is you and know health costs money.  Especially in America and the spiralling costs are astounding.

    Just a suggestion. Look to see what is available on line and explore how and when if this or that helps.

    I know done this myself.  Doctors happy to co-operate.  Have said certain suggestions to better my self mentally.

    Always a pleasure to speak to you  wish you well.  My friend. 


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • cracker
    cracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    I have an application for medical marijuana. Yes, it is ;up to the state.

    The Pain Management Clinic was a disaster. The doctors here are hell--bent on not giving out any narcotics. I take them, and the doctor asked me if I SOLD them. 

    He sent a note to my GP., who prescribes my medication. I hope he will continue to prescribe the narcotic.

    Narcotics have a place in medicine, I think. The anti-opoid movement has become practically a religion here.

    Good for you coming off the substances. My father was an alcoholic - I drank for a year (everyone in New York City was doing alcohol and drugs),, quite in 1969 and haven't touched anything since. You are doing really well!
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello my friend @cracker The difficulty does present its  self to keep taking medication or just look at other options.

    The big debate is the tolerance of medication with the side effects plus having continuous pain. Feel either working or not.

    Among certain drugs for my mental health but generally rely on common sense for pain medication.

    Have always consulted my Doctor for any advice as long it is helping.

    I do a lot of research and valued my own judgement. Looking at diet, lifestyle choices thinking of how to cope.

    There are some answers and maybe solutions to the constant barrage on the web pages. Especially in the States the amount of coverage. Health clinics and specialists to help you become pain free.

    Money seems no object and this of course fuelling a billion dollar industry.

    Often watch those Border security programmes the amount of drugs and sorts of medicines banned or allowed to be used by patients.  That seem to be on the look out for when stopped by security.

    Amazes me the contraband some have suitcases full.  Obviously a market and money for these sorts of medicine . 

    Thank you for kind words about addiction. Does help say that to every one when trying to get off  alcohol you set yourself on the road to cleanliness and recovery.. Become free and from the shackles of routine.

    Now try to educate those who want to be like myself. Small steps .

    Hope you are keeping OK and thanks for being a friend. Listening to me. Hope to you take care.

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.


Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.