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Offloading my secrets
carrying my secrets is so exhausting and such a weight . I feel it physically at the end of the day. I hope that if I share it here, it’s easier to manage, no harm in trying is there. Anyway I have experienced a variety of abuse that spans 36 years and 3 abusers in total. I am in touch and have a very good relationship with 2 of the 3 abusers as my memory blocked out most things apart from half a dozen experiences. Anyway they act as if nothing happened and this is just so weird. I keep going over the abusive experiences to make sure my memory isn’t playing tricks. Is it possible for a man to not realise his behaviour is abusive? Even sexually? When someone says ..I don’t want to.... and he says shhhh... and carries on anyway ... surely that’s not ok? What a strange scenario.. having a good relationship with former abusers... my heart is hammering as I write, no idea why but nothing I can’t cope with.