Advice for mentally preparing for surgery

Debslostmarbles Community member Posts: 2 Listener
edited February 2019 in Everyday life
My name is Debbie, I have bad nerve damage in my legs due to hospital blunder I also suffer with PTSD. 
I have been disabled for 5 years now and only just started to accept that I won’t be able to walk unaided, I use crutches & wheelchair.
I am due to have major surgery within 3 months it will be my 6th op I am absolutely petrified, especially because every time I have major surgery my mental health goes down hill & I am  suicidal takes me months to recover, 
I don’t know if anyone has any advice to help me prepare mentally? Every time I try to be positive before a big op I fail as soon as I am out of theatre I get so emotional.
I hope you all have a good weekend ?xxx


  • steve51
    steve51 Community member Posts: 7,147 Championing
    Hi @Debslostmarbles

    Welcome it’s great to meet you today ?

    I am very very sorry to hear about your current situation/problems.

    Yes I have also got “Nerve Damage” from my neck down my right hand side.
    The hospital “Zapped” my “Brain & Neck” with to much "Radiation”

    Yes you need to stay “Positive” & “Don’t Think” about the “What If”s”

    You need to get both your “Body & Mind” in the “Right Place”

    “Please please” let us know if there’s anything else that we can help you with???


  • ukssvictim
    ukssvictim Community member Posts: 8 Listener
    Hi @Debslostmarbles if it was me I wouldn't put any more expectations upon yourself like you have to feel this way or that way...just take each day as it comes before and after the surgery. You're a veteran when it comes to surgery so I think you're awesome to recover 6 times and bounce back! If it was me don't think in positive and negatives, if we have a good day then that's brilliant and if we have a bad day...I guess it's just another day down and look forward to the next day ? X that's all anyone can do gal xx 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,377 Championing
    Hello @Debslostmarbles   Pleased to meet you welcome.

    Thank you for joining and sharing.  I am sorry what you are going through.

    I understand. I am one of the team of community champions who help and advise new members who join.

    One suggestion I have is to speak to the Hospital Chaplain.  After numerous operations always consult speak to the Chaplain.  That I had.

    Sometimes before or even after all helps and gives me reassurance.

    You do not have to be practising a faith to talk about the experiences you are going through.

    I had problems with anaesthetic and other associated problems. 

    Fears and insecurities I know are a problem in any major surgery.

    Taking time for a prayer or to talk it over with a Chaplain all helped myself.

    Another idea make a date for something you enjoy.  After the operation. 

    Something positive to think of afterwards. 

    Some thing to look forward to. 

    Hope that helps.

    We are here to support you. Always here to listen. Wish you well in a speedy recovery.

    Please take care.

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • Debslostmarbles
    Debslostmarbles Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    Thank you all for your lovely comments. I think I do expect too much from myself sometimes. Some Ideas l didn’t think about. ?Once again thank you ? xxx
  • ParkHouseSpa
    ParkHouseSpa Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    I think you need to develop your own definition of healing. Each of us has slightly different take. For me happiness always was - waking up in the morning and feeling - life is so wonderful. I use to pick up these moments like cherries, anylise how and why I felt that way. And in a bad day tried to recriate that feeling. It is all about you and what inside you. Anything external matters very little, including how you look and what people may think about you. For me beauty of nature did it. Flowers, sky, birds. Being in the gardern with a cup of coffe, listerning, smelling and watching beauty, being connected to it. Find your own little heaven and let youself be there as often as your soul needs it.
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,935 Championing
    Hi @ParkHouseSpa welcome to the community!

    Last year, I completely lost all ability to sit up, stand and walk. I was in hospital/rehab for 9 months and by the end of it I was able to walk a few feet with a walking frame.

    I had an extremely bad bout of depression about 3 months into my stay because I didn't know what had caused all of this. I was suicidal because nobody knew if I was going to be able to ever walk again. But I proved them all wrong.

    I still experience episodes of PTSD but they key is to take one day at a time. If you're having a bad day then that's OK, tomorrow is a new day and we can try again.

    I never thought I would be using a walking frame at the age of 24 but without it, i wouldn't be able to walk a few feet. I am getting married in Autumn this year and my dream of walking down the aisle has driven me to get to the stage I am at today.

    Here I'd you would like to talk :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • veriterc
    veriterc Community member Posts: 242 Empowering
    What an swful situation to be in.  I would echo the advice to talk to the Chaplain - I found the one at the Marsden gave me far better advice.  You should also ask for an appointment with the Anaesthetist.  They are far more important than anyone else in Theatre, and it is often their skill that is called upon.  A chat with them can be far more reassuring, and they need to know of your fears, as this might impact on the way they administer their drugs.  Best of luck, and remember we will all be rooting for you.
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,935 Championing
    Sorry I meant to tag @Debslostmarbles in my first post but welcome to the community @ParkHouseSpa!
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,790 Championing
    Hi @Debslostmarbles, and a warm welcome to the community!

    Wishing you all the best for your upcoming surgery, and it's so brilliant to see you've had some support from our community members.

    You are a member of our community and we appreciate you. If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself:

    If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    You're among friends here, so please do keep us updated and we'll advise where we can, even if it's just to be a listening ear. Take care, and I hope today's as kind as possible to you!