Anger/Anxiety in CP children

Embay

I am having a lot of anger and anxiety issues with my daughter at the moment and wondering whether anyone else is going through the same thing. She is a child that will bottle everything up until she explodes and once she's done she can't remember any of it.

Any help would be welcomed 

Thank you 

EmmaB

Hi @Embay
That sounds difficult. 
You haven't given much detail but maybe the following will be helpful...
When we are completely stressed out our memories aren't stored properly which might explain why she explodes but can't really remember the details...
I guess the best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open.  If she doesn't want to talk to you can she write down what she's angry about?  If she will share this with you it would be useful to look at whether you can both come up with some solutions to things she's worried or angry about ie channel that energy into DOING something which will then change how she feels.
You don't say how old your daughter is but obviously the teenage years are difficult with a lot of peer pressure...
One last thing - is she into social media?  If she is that could be impacting on her and cutting down her use particularly before bedtime might be helpful... [this may not be easy if she is 'addicted' to it but if that is the case there's all the more argument for cutting down on its use].
If you have the money you could take her to see a private counsellor who has experience of working with children [you'll be waiting ages to access such help through CAMHS and they are so stretched they seem to only be able to see children who are self harming/suicidal].
Be wary of any doctor that just opts for medication, it's a lazy, unimaginative approach - because it's not addressing the CAUSE of what she is worried/angry about - there are some that believe youngsters should not be given psychiatric medication as their brains are still developing and it can in fact cause psychiatric problems... Getting to the root of why she is feeling this way feels like the key.
Best wishes and good luck.
Emma

EmmaB

PS I haven't made an assumption that her anger/worries are related to CP because they may or may not be...

Sam_Alumni

@KellyParentAdvisor and @Richard_Scope do you have any thoughts?

KellyParentAdvisor

Hi @Embay. Could you give us any more details at all? How old is your daughter? What kinds of things does she feel anxious about or get angry about? Does she bottle it up at school and let it all out once home? 

Richard_Scope

Hello @Embay

Thanks for your post. I live with quadriplegic CP myself, so I can provide some insight from that angle. If you feel comfortable, could you please give me some more details about your daughter?

Embay

Sorry, I apologise for not writing back, I obviously hadn't logged back on for a long while. I still have the same issues, but I do know some of her anger stems from anger towards her biological father. She finds it hard to put into words what is upsetting her and ends up screaming for hours on end, she is 9 and has had cerebral palsy since birth.

Richard_Scope

Hi @Embay
Absolutely no need to apologise. How have you been? 

I'm sorry to read that your daughter is still experiencing issues with her anger but it is a positive move forward that you now know the reason for some of it. have you explored different ways for your daughter to express her feeling?  We have some advice on managing your child's challenging behaviour

A good technique that I have come across and used with my daughter when she was younger is the Feelings Thermometer.
This is where you give their feelings a number from 1 to 10. 1 being not angry and 10, very angry. This will help your daughter become aware of when her feelings are rising and act or seek support before the feelings become out of control. You could also make a feeling chart with faces expressing different emotions and let your child help you cut out the feelings that they want to include and make their own unique chart. A Worry Box is also a great tool. All you need is any old box and your daughter can write her worries on pieces of paper and place them inside the box, for you and her to talk about together at a later date.
It's about finding ways for your daughter to express her emotions constructively that suit you both.


You are not alone in this. Remember we are here to support you.

Embay

Thank you for getting back so quick.

I have used the worry box before and it did help a bit but she found it hard sometimes to write it down, although her school did a worry jar and a happy jar with her and that worked because she was able to open up to her one to one who helped me through a lot.

We live in a little town along the coast and we don't get much help around our way so it hard sometimes to speak about everyday life because not many people understand how hard life can be sometimes.

Thank you again for helping me out, it is very appreciated

Richard_Scope

I understand how life can be and I will do my best to support you @Embay. Whenever you feel like talking things through let me know