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Just Need To Talk

GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
Hi just needed to talk has things are just getting more and more on top of me with my Depression and  Anxiety with the time I have been Waiting for so long now over 12 months for my PIP Tribunal and now I have to go to a ESA assessment and have to see my Counsellor once more about my Depression and Anxiety problems with the Mental Health Team I see and my Disabilities getting more on top of me i am getting to the point of thinking is it all worth it living like this its just getting to much now one thing after a other it just doesn't stop sorry about this as I just had to put something down help my self so sorry 

Replies

  • Dotty123Dotty123 Member Posts: 492 Pioneering
    Hi it takes long time my esa stopped even tho can’t use hands ,had no food gas electric gas I’m diabetic stopped my rent even on nil income it takes a lot to get things back hang on I there I’m here if you need chat Karen xx
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,123 Disability Gamechanger
    Please don't apologise @Gerald I am very sorry to hear what you're currently going through, you know we are always here for you.

    I can imagine this all must be extremely overwhelming for you so let's take it one step at a time.

    Out of the 3 you have mentioned, which are you most struggling to cope with?
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Thank you Dotty123 and Ami2301  for that and Ami2301 Out of the 3 i  have mentioned, which are you most struggling to cope with at the moment its my Depression and Disabilities as sometimes i thing is worth living like this and just end it all to get some rest from it all at times sorry and thank you for your kind words it helps thank you so much for them .
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,123 Disability Gamechanger
    I know how you feel, last year I was the lowest I had ever been with my depression, I was bed bound, wheelchairbound, I could not do anything for myself. I wanted to give up.

    Returning to the community gave me a purpose again, helping others has always been something i have loved. 

    I can't do all of the things I used to be able to do anymore but there are things that I can do and things for me to try.

    It is extremely hard to accept what has happened to us, I am very lucky to have a supportive fiance, family and friends who have helped me get through this.

    I don't know if you have family or friends around you, but you have us...the community and we will be with you every step of the way.
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Thank you Ami2301 all I have is my sisters and I do not like to put my problems on them as I live on my own and things just got on top of me and the help from you and the rest of the people on the community helps so much to know that someone on the community to talk to so thank you for talking to me with your posts Ami2301 it helps a lot thank you I am going to get on to my Mental Health Team tomorrow all I can put is thank you for your help in me so so much 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,123 Disability Gamechanger
    Anytime, hope you have a good nights sleep and let us know how you get on :)
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    I will and all that i can put is thank you so much for your help and talking to me Ami2301 and will do thank you and you have a good nights sleep to thank you.
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,123 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you and you're very welcome :)
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • Pippa_ScopePippa_Scope Member Posts: 5,856 Disability Gamechanger
    Morning @Gerald, how are you feeling today? I hope you had a good night's sleep.

    I'm so glad to see you've had some words of encouragement from the community and you're contacting your Mental Health Team. I really hope they can help you. Please do keep us updated: at the very least, our members can provide a listening ear! 
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    First off thank you so much for last night for your kind words Ami2301 it people like you that give me hope and the rest for the community helps so much and you to Pippa_Scope and the rest of the team thank you I have got on to my Mental Health Team this morning and had a talk with them and someone from the team is coming to see me this morning its just as I was growing up and my sisters my mum and dad told us to be kind to every one and never judge people its just hard sometimes when MPs go on tv and defend statements like some people just like being on benefit when I left school I started work and paid my tax for some 38y then one day at work end up in ICU and come round 3 weeks later and end up on dla for life then have to go on benefit and then for someone to see me for 30mins at a PIP assessment that I am okay and have know mental health problems as I drove in the past and know mental health problems I think that sometimes let them have to live like this day in day out and thinking that life is just one big party and after having a very bad day with my Depression and Disabilities and then having to think that next up esa assessment getting me more to depressed and not helping with my anxiety all I can say is thank you to the community and you for your help you do not know how good it is knowing that your all out there as my sisters help me a lot its just sometimes I just can not say something to them and upset them how I feel at times and it helps to put it down in words and have know one judge you so thank you all for your help.
  • Bevvy7andoverBevvy7andover Member Posts: 38 Connected
    Have you spoke with your gp and asked to see a councillor to help you’ve made the first step by approaching scope so good luck hun
  • Kate_ScopeKate_Scope Navigate Posts: 74 Pioneering
    Hi @Gerald my name is Kate and I am a member of the navigate team. Previously I worked for the mental health charity Mind and I believe thier service is of huge value to the communities they serve. Have you been in touch with your local Mind office? they usually have community groups where like-minded people can socialize and talk through thier issues. I can see that you are under the mental health team for your mental health and that is great that you have that support- I just thought maybe some help from Mind may be an added form of support that you can access. Although we cannot give out medical advice I think that another form of support for you would be of value. Good luck with everything


    Kate 

  • RoddyRoddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    edited March 2019
    Gerald said:
    I will and all that i can put is thank you so much for your help and talking to me Ami2301 and will do thank you and you have a good nights sleep to thank you.
    Hi Gerald, I've only just read your posts and I hope that your meeting went/goes well for you today. There is a good community of people on here, as I have also found out since I joined just 2 weeks ago. I only 'bumped into' Ami2301 on here yesterday for the first time on another topic for example, and we all support each other as best we can from a distance...  It's always good to have a listening ear and a voice outside of your immediate circle of family or friends... I can also 'pipe in my penny's worth' from a guy's point of view whenever you feel like it... Hey, what do you like doing or going when you can? Have you any interests or favourite music for example? It would be great to know!  (I like EVERYTHING by  David Bowie, and I even knew him and worked for him at one point, but that's another story.... Zzzz)  Best wishes, Rodders. 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,123 Disability Gamechanger
    I really hope your meeting goes well :)
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Hi all just a big thank you to you all Ami2301 Roddy Kate_Scope Bevvy7andover  this is just a bit of a update from today the Mental Health Team one as come round to see me and had a long talk and she as help me a lot and i go to my appointment with my councillor and she will get in contact with my councillor today to talk about how i have been and to Kate_Scope I will have a look at the Mind web site to see if there is a local Mind office as i find it hard to go out with my Depression and Anxiety and Disabilities i know that may sound like i am making and avoid in going out but its just how i feel at this time and all i can put is thank you to you all and the rest of the community for your kind word sorry i can not put i down in words better than this you all help so much so to all just a big thank you.
  • RoddyRoddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    Gerald said:
    Hi all just a big thank you to you all Ami2301 Roddy Kate_Scope Bevvy7andover  this is just a bit of a update from today the Mental Health Team one as come round to see me and had a long talk and she as help me a lot and i go to my appointment with my councillor and she will get in contact with my councillor today to talk about how i have been and to Kate_Scope I will have a look at the Mind web site to see if there is a local Mind office as i find it hard to go out with my Depression and Anxiety and Disabilities i know that may sound like i am making and avoid in going out but its just how i feel at this time and all i can put is thank you to you all and the rest of the community for your kind word sorry i can not put i down in words better than this you all help so much so to all just a big thank you.
    You've already made a giant leap today with your meeting, Gerald. I can tell that your mood is a lot better from yesterday as you have made positive steps which can only go upwards! Nobody can fully understand how you feel from day to day, but with help from people like those you met today, and also on here, you can see that there's always some light at the end of the tunnel. Stay focussed on this light whenever you're feeling blue, and please keep in touch. Well Done You...
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Hi I know its not much Roddy but its all I can do is say thank you to you all for your kind word it helps so much thank you thank you 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Gerald How are you?  Please can I thank you for first sharing with the community.

    As a member of this community with mental health and also disabilities . I do know every day is different.

    Please can I also add with the meetings you have had with the mental health team.  I hope can be useful.

    What is important is you. One of the most important aspects of mental health is to take small steps.  Finding ways to adapt and cope.

    Most mental health teams do advise ways to cope by using coping methods and strategies to be implemented.

    I know this is never easy to deal with and I have had systems in place and it has failed so need a back up.

    A lot of this is learning and by accessing that help and support can beneficial to wellbeing.

    No one is perfect and even myself have the need to talk and say how I am.

    When we talk about coping methods and strategies it can be simple things. Like having relaxation techniques, meditation and other simple therapies like music. Calming and serene.

    Other ones are having a coping box.  This is a box or does not have to be a box. Where the things that you need to be comforted in moments of stress and anxiety.

    In my case favourite passages from the bible, some CDs with mindful., relaxing stress free music.  Favourite foods and anything that relieves stress. Have an anxiety,stress larder.

    Certain foods and things that help me cope. No alcohol or caffeine effects anxiety.

    I have Classic FM on.

    Strategies are the diary put in there to take meds, also appointments with anxiety you forget things. Add in shopping, small notes to yourself.

    Reminders.  Other things are sleep every one with anxiety or a mental health has sleep issues I do. All the time so plan for sleep.

    Wind down before a set time usually around ten . In my case. All electrics off and sit meditation closed eyes and it does help to eat sensible.

    Good days if I can plan something usually a clean or a tidy up.  Then reward yourself all helps, Something simple. Make your favourite sandwich do the task then eat the sandwich.

    Put uplifting music on when and if doing tasks.  TV off when eating a meal have radio on or music to calm myself.

    I am happy to see some one suggested MIND very good website and organisation.

    I used this one as well if that helps you.  

    https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.

    I know you have a mental health team this excellent to hear.

    Please can I also add I have been there with the benefit assessments anxiety got to me and effected my self like yours.

    My support told me if we keep thinking the worse it will go around in your head like a record.

    Causing anxiety even worse to my stomach and cause other symptoms.

    This I did not know but she was good explaining, learnt something new.

    Please if I can be of any help please keep in touch.

    We are here to help and advise be a friend anytime.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Thank you thespiceman  for that it helps a lot my thing is that you go for a PIP Assessment that lasts for 30mins and then send a report in that you have know problems even with all the reports form my doctor consltant mental health team and councillor who provides expert advice in there reports and have to go to a Tribunal with know date after 12m and then to get one for A ESA  Assessment is it all going to happen once more and gets me thinking it all going to start once more which then starts me going down hill with my Depression and Anxiety and Disabilities playing up on top of that I feel like its one step forward and two steps back at times Thank you so much for the kind words.
  • RoddyRoddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    Gerald said:
    Thank you thespiceman  for that it helps a lot my thing is that you go for a PIP Assessment that lasts for 30mins and then send a report in that you have know problems even with all the reports form my doctor consltant mental health team and councillor who provides expert advice in there reports and have to go to a Tribunal with know date after 12m and then to get one for A ESA  Assessment is it all going to happen once more and gets me thinking it all going to start once more which then starts me going down hill with my Depression and Anxiety and Disabilities playing up on top of that I feel like its one step forward and two steps back at times Thank you so much for the kind words.
    Hi again @Gerald,

    Many of us can relate to your own experiences with DWP assessments, and the going round & round in circles and feeling like it's getting us nowhere. It's not surprising that this is stressing you out on top of everything else. I've been through the same and have felt like banging my head against a brick wall! (smile)

    Your meeting today, will have at least given you some good food for thought. You are no longer expected to go through it all again on your own without some much needed support... Try not to think about 'what may happen' as it often never does happen and your mind will play tricks. Stay focused on 'the now' 'the present' and forget about things which are not affecting you today. I KNOW that you have it in you overcome this. After all, you reached out to Scope and you found answers and solace.. You reached out to those you met with today, and they left you with hope for better things to come, which they will, I assure you. 

    You've even taught me something along the way (which takes some doing!) and so not everything you think you are doing is negative. 

    Stay strong, my new Scope Buddy! 

    Rodders.


  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Hi again Roddy thank for that and my meeting with my mental team was good and she sat and talk with me for a long time and was going to pass on the thing we had talk about today with my councillor to keep her up to date with how I have been this week and then she as give my sister a ring about today and then my sister as got on to my nephew who as come round to see me and have a talk and then tells me that he as booked for me him and is kids to go watch captain marvel at the pictures on Friday and he is going to sort for us to go to the pictures at least once a month to help get my mind off thing and I know its not much but all I can say to you and all the rest of the scope community thank you so much for the kind words that have help me today and last night Thank you.
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,123 Disability Gamechanger
    Hope you have a lovely time watching Captain Marvel - I love superheroes!
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Thanks Ami2301 I will and nephew knows the pictures I like Captain Marvel and the next one may be Endgame and thank you for last night. all the best Ami2301 
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,123 Disability Gamechanger
    You're welcome, I can't wait for Endgame too 😁 I apologise for going off topic! Always here if you need anything fellow superhero :)
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Hi you do not need to apologise about Endgame Ami2301 you got me through a bad night thank you.
  • RoddyRoddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    Gerald said:
    Hi again Roddy thank for that and my meeting with my mental team was good and she sat and talk with me for a long time and was going to pass on the thing we had talk about today with my councillor to keep her up to date with how I have been this week and then she as give my sister a ring about today and then my sister as got on to my nephew who as come round to see me and have a talk and then tells me that he as booked for me him and is kids to go watch captain marvel at the pictures on Friday and he is going to sort for us to go to the pictures at least once a month to help get my mind off thing and I know its not much but all I can say to you and all the rest of the scope community thank you so much for the kind words that have help me today and last night Thank you.
    That's brilliant news! Enjoy the film and have a great time. Bring us all back some Pop-Corn! (smile)  
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Gerald   Thank you for replying to my post.  How are you today?

    @Roddy has given you a lot of advice and good to hear that you need to take that on board.

    Mental health these feelings, emotions and all the effects around the assessments are the part of the illness you have.

    Please can I also add it is knowing yourself, how to deal with these emotions, feelings.

    I have been doing the benefits system for a long time, still get what your going through when it comes but do know how to deal with this, I am not perfect not superhuman just a gent.

    What is important here that your not alone, share and care with your family. Be and use this forum .  Always some one here. Speak to the community.

    Another suggestion is to ask your mental health team about courses. They do exist on how you deal with your mental health and the problems around it. Usually most mental health charities have these.

    Sometimes your wellbeing service run by local councils do them as well. Many are free, 

    Learning and being educated to how your mind works is all useful.  Then you have the tools to cope.  I have been doing this along time in my early late twenties now middle fifties.

    Can be things like sleep, medication diet, lifestyle always important those two.  Have a built up knowledge in the process meet on these courses many like yourself.

    From all walks of life and you suddenly realise you not alone. 

    I have disability like yourself with my illness ongoing.

    Always happy to share and care.

    Wish well today and please if you need to chat or talk always here.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Hi thespiceman  Thanks for that all of you in the community have all been so kind with all you nice words it helps and to know your all out there like I have put down in the past  is that I know its not much but thank you all.
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Hi all just a bit of a update that the nice lady from my mental health team as give me a ring today just to have a talk and see how I am feeling  today which as been nice so that's it and thank you to all in the community for your help <3<3
  • RoddyRoddy Member Posts: 389 Pioneering
    @Gerald
    That's brilliant news Gerald... See what you've managed to achieve in less than one week! We may have all been here for you, but you did it all with the help of nice lady from your mental health team... You'll really be able to enjoy Captain Marvel at the pictures with your Nephew now, and not worry so much about things... All the best, Roddy
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Gerald Thank you for reply. That is OK I am happy to have met you.

    Good to hear that some one has contacted you. That is excellent to hear.  Please can I add there a lot of good hard working support workers out there. In the community.

    I know I have met so many of them..  Please what is important right now is the reassurance you need to cope and to deal with anything.

    Also you have so much support on the community.

    You have friends here. I know it is difficult for you every day, but it will be OK . Every thing will work out.

    We are here.

    Any problems please contact us the community.  We all need to talk at sometime so please do not be afraid to say if we can help.

    Just one final point have done a post on anxiety and foods that may help .

    Under Coffee Lounge. If you interested. Lots of guidance and useful advice, tips.

    Please keep in touch.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Take care.

    @thespiceman

     
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • GeraldGerald Member Posts: 214 Pioneering
    Hi thespiceman thank you and I will have a look at that post to thanks for the help Take Care 
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