I have no pituitary gland or hypothalamus as a result of a large brain tumour

LewisC

I no longer produce testosterone or oxytocin and recieve injections every 10 weeks to supplement the testosterone. I also have diabetes and various other issues including the damage caused by a massive stroke in 2015 I am 44 and my poor wife has to suffer a sexless relationship despite our mutual love! I am concerned that eventually she will find it to tempting to have a full relationship with someone else! I can't Increase my testosterone and oxytocin isn't available for me.....what can I do?

LewisC

I failed to mention that I had a 9cm brain tumour!

Antonia_Alumni

Thank you for sharing this with us @LewisC and welcome to the community. You have been moved over to our sex and relationships expert discussions and Gill @PSHEexpert may be able to support you with this.

Have you seen your GP/specialist recently, to see if there are any other options?

PSHEexpert

Morning!  Thank you for your post - this is something that doesn't get talked about a lot and I bet there will be others out there experiencing similar issues.  Sex is often just sort of forgotten about and for a lot of people it's really important, so it's disappointing that it's not addressed just as a matter of course.  One thing that has come up many times in discussions over the years is that it's not always the actual erect-penis-in-an-orifice sex (sorry to be crude) that's the most important bit, but more the intimacy and expression of sexual desire that means a lot (and which is the turn on, and lends the intimacy).  For the actual "end result", have you thought about introducing sex toys as part of the repertoire?  Please forgive me if that's a bit of a shocker - I am just really used to talking about it and I realise it can be a bit of a conversation stopper!  The other thing is, as @Antonia_Scope says, your specialist might be able to help by making a referral for additional support.  I am not clinical so I can't comment on upping the doses of hormones or otherwise, but they may be able to offer additional advice about that. 

Sam_Alumni

Hi @LewisC
Some great advice from @PSHEexpert there. I can only reiterate that sex and intimacy is so often affected by different impairments or illnesses and it's not something we talk about. 

Do you and your partner talk about this? Having open communication is key to a healthy relationship, and as Gill says above, there is so much more to an enjoyable sex life than just penetration.

We had @HotOctopuss talking to us about sex,. the stigma around it and sex toys here that you might like to read.