My granddaughter has oral dyspraxia and global learning difficulties; punishment advice

Becca17

I have a query about my 13 year old granddaughter I hope someone has advice on please.

Becca17

My granddaughter has oral dyspraxia and global learning difficulties.  She is 13 years old so going through a difficult time anyway but in the past year she has had a few 'temper' flare ups - if she thinks she is right, or she doesn't want to wash her hair - she will be right in your face saying no and being aggressive.  Her mum and dad are separated - both with a new husband/wife respectively who are all very supportive.  Her dad, my son, has tried punishing her with taking an activity away from her - like me taking her to a yoga class on a Tuesday evening.  My question is, does this sort of punishment work?  Isn't it better to give out a punishment which is immediate - like you can't play on your ipad this evening.  I feel she doesn't remember what she has done wrong by the time Tuesday comes around.  Becca17

Doris_Scope

Hi

@Becca17

Welcome to the online community.  It sounds like you are having a tough time with your granddaughter, and although she does not have autism, sometimes the techniques that are used can still be really helpful such as rewards for good behaviour rather than punishment for aggressive behaviour.

Below is a link to the National Autistic Society page linked to behaviour.  It might be worth having a look and seeing if any of the techniques work for you.

Good luck.

https://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/challenging-behaviour.aspx

Doris_Scope

Hi

@Becca17

Another link will take you to a fact sheet on behaviour.  Again, this time it is for ADHD, but often behaviour techniques are useful for anyone.

https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Factsheet-Managing-Challenging-Behaviour.pdf

Have a look and see what you think.

Best wishes

[Deleted User]

Hi @Becca17

In my previous role I used to work alongside other charities that held groups sessions and courses for parents of disabled children that I also used to attend to give guidance on education and additional learning needs. One behaviour management technique that was suggested to parents was called the Starry Sky Reward Chart. I'm suggested this to parents I've worked with since and have had some good feedback on it, so it may be worth a try.

The steps are as follows:

* Get a black or dark blue piece of card, what size depends on how big the family is or how many stars they want to fill.

* Everyone uses the same colour stars and is given one when they show good behaviour, do chores, does an act of kindness, etc. You don't take away stars if there is negative behaviour, but it can be used as a visual incentive or reminder for the child as it will be physically be there on a wall.

* Agree on a group activity/treat once the night sky is filled with stars.

* All the family are involved and are rewarded – parents/carers and children.

* When the night sky is full of stars then go on the group activity/treat!

Hope this helps! 

Becca17

Thank you all for your replies - I will take a look at all you have suggested.  Becca