Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.
Receiving too many notifications? Adjust your notification settings.

Getting the Hang of Things - Just Joined

PaddythePoguePaddythePogue Member Posts: 10 Listener
Hello to all, I live in Mcr . After the recent end of a relationship, I'm coming to terms with what loneliness & relative isolation means. There are a lot of lonely people out there ...I never thought Eleanor Rigby would come back to haunt me..."where did they all come frommm....Aah...look at all the lonely people  Father McKenzie, writing the words, Of a sermon that no one will hear, No one comes near....except Father McKenzie doesn't exist any more......instead we have social media.....so, it seems to make sense to use it to make new connections. I'm socially isolated for a few reasons; I grew up in Ireland, so I don't have local social connections......my social life revolved around my ex-partner, I've been inclined to self-medicate to stave off unpleasant feelings, and there's a cost to that!  I've got several qualifications [PGCE., MA ]  so I might be able to help some people with writing issues. Let's see if we can develop some good relationships. I'm a young 62...plenty of life left!! Nially  . Also, I'm one of those who received a letter from DWP inquiring if  I'm eligible for ESA from October 2012 - Oct 2013 . I'm go to another section to find out more about this.. 


  • steve51steve51 Community champion Posts: 7,175 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @PaddythePogue

    Welcome my friend it’s great to meet you today.

    I am very very sorry to hear about your current problems.

    Yes we have got many members who would be very very happy “Meet & Great” you if required.

    Sorry to ask but where in Ireland have you come from ????

  • PaddythePoguePaddythePogue Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Hiya Steve & thanks for your welcome.  I'm Dublin born & bred, but my folks are from Derry & Donegal so I've retained my connections with the North.
  • Richard_ScopeRichard_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,595 Scope community team
    Hello @PaddythePogue
    Good to meet you and you'll nearly always find one of the team to talk to on the community.
    Specialist Information Officer - Cerebral Palsy

    Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Community Team Posts: 7,941 Scope community team
    Hello @PaddythePogue, welcome to the community. Glad to have you with us. 
    Senior Community Partner

    If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
  • Ami2301Ami2301 Community champion Posts: 7,139 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @PaddythePogue welcome to the community! :)
    Community Champion
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • PaddythePoguePaddythePogue Member Posts: 10 Listener
    edited April 2019
    Thanks all for the open armed welcome! I'm hoping that social media , in the form of this site, can prove to be a power for good.......one example I can think of would be signposting events in a specific area. FOR EXAMPLE ; I missed out on this event'cos I didn't know about it ; Chair Yoga
    Monday 1 April, 2:00pm - 4:00pm
    [Address removed by moderator]
    Refreshments, fruit and cake will be provided.
    But ...if anyone was interested, there is another different forthcoming event  on 15th April ;
     Creative Writing - Monday 15 April, 2:00pm - 4:00pm
    [Address removed by moderator]
    So, I suppose that's a good example of what I have in mind!
    HERE'S ANOTHER - I'm looking for a Badminton partner....I'm not very good at all......but that's not the point...North Mcr.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger

    Hello @PaddythePogue Pleased to meet you welcome.

    Sorry to hear that your experiencing isolation and loneliness.

    I know it is difficult and not easy to deal with.

    I am one of the team of community champions who guide, advise and help new members who join the forum.

    I live on my own and do know it is finding how to deal with every day.

    I use this a lot often helps.

    Plenty of friends who like your self . Always here for a chat. Anytime.

    I know also it is finding doing small steps and achievements making rewards being good to yourself.

    One other suggestion .  I have is to look at volunteering. Looking at your skills, abilities talents to further use.

    By doing that you do meet people.

    Contact your local council has a community volunteering unit. Something else to think about is wellbeing courses. Often run by Community health I would recommend.

    Have done many of them. Usually lifestyle course to do with certain aspects of wellbeing.

    Most are free.  Got qualifications does help the self esteem.

    Also if you let your local county council know they can send you updates of what is on in your area. Most areas have a magazine informing what is on in the area.

    Usually send you an Email.  Then you will not miss anything. I know can be annoying.

    Have you contacted AGEUK plenty of people like yourself could be something useful for you. Helping and advising others. In the local area.

    Where you live . Have a look at their website. Very informative.


    Some ideas I hope that helps.

    Pleasure to meet you. 

    Take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • PaddythePoguePaddythePogue Member Posts: 10 Listener
    Thanks @thespiceman 
    Re community volunteering unit ; I agree -  it would boost my self-esteem if I could make a meaningful contribution. To do so, I need to get over the irritating but necessary CRB checks [I have irrelevant & very old cannabis cautions] and secure my lifestyle so that I can be depended upon to be reliable! 
    I've recently signed up to Age Friendly Mcr & Mcr City Co email - both pretty good.........NOW, I need to overcome the mindset which signs up for an event & then CHICKENS OUT from attending........the cobwebs have held me back....I don't lack confidence in my ability....I lack energy and need to fight the inertia relative social isolation brings.......thanks for pointing in the right direction.....
  • Antonia_ScopeAntonia_Scope Member Posts: 1,783 Pioneering
    Welcome to the community @PaddythePogue happy to see you have this in place and I hope you will be able to attend. Please keep us updated on it all goes.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger

    Hello @PaddythePogue  Thank you for reply.  I agree this can be a problem.  With CRB checks.

    Done a lot of volunteering .  Some organisations have applied for never got the job. Even though got CRB and waiting.  So many times.  Used to ring up now if they cannot be bothered then I do not ring them.

    I have myself an much documented addiction history.  Which I have talked about on here.

    Mainly alcohol and some drugs.  Never had cautions .  Yet that might not be a problem if you use that knowledge and expertise to look at organisations who need volunteers with clientele who are similar.

    Would that be an issue for you?

    I know myself even being clean twelve years. Always have time for my brothers and sisters who have been through and are continuing the struggle to stave off.

    Whatever they are going through.

    I still probably would struggle with organisations dealing with just addiction. Does and can be effecting some people. Have tried.

    Although have concentrated in the past on organisations that deal with mental health and addiction.

    As I have both plus disability.  I have from birth.

    I know it is finding the inertia to move and think about doing something. I happy just volunteering for SCOPE .

    Am own time and maybe something there to look at. Become a community champion like myself. If that gives you some self confidence  if you need it..

    Great to talk to you. Anytime for a chat .

    Wish you well.

    Take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Sign in or join us to comment.