I recently went for my first ever rental viewing. Accompanied by my mum and brother which may have struck them as slightly odd at nearly 25 but I need the support. It was perfect. I couldn’t believe it. Just around the corner from my parents and even with my struggling body it’s a do able walk. It’s cosy and small but perfect for one, a proper little cottage.
So I put an offer in and paid my holding fee yesterday. It was rash and probably not well thought out but I didn’t want to lose the opportunity. And I would have if I had waited.
But as I was laying in bed last night I had a sudden feeling of absolute dread. I didn’t sleep. I was wracked with panic attacks and sudden pain all over my body from an anxiety enduced fibromyalgia flare up. I laid there in the middle of the night and had a cry.
Thing is I’ve never lived on my own. Nearly 25 years and I’ve only ever been alone for a week max. And that was still in my own home, they just went on holiday.
I know it has to be done at some point but I always thought of it as a long term plan and now it’s happening. And I know I’ll love it. I’m painfully introverted, most days I don’t really like talking to people. But there’s a comfort in knowing their there. Especially at night when I seem to have my most extreme anxiety. I want to cancel the whole thing. So now I don’t know what way to turn.
Anyone else who lives alone (especially if you have autism, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia or anxiety) what are the pros and cons? Were you scared? Was it a good choice for you? I just want to make sure I’m making as much of an informed move as possible.
Thanks everyone.
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