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Living alone for the first time
Flossie24
Member Posts: 18 Connected
I recently went for my first ever rental viewing. Accompanied by my mum and brother which may have struck them as slightly odd at nearly 25 but I need the support. It was perfect. I couldn’t believe it. Just around the corner from my parents and even with my struggling body it’s a do able walk. It’s cosy and small but perfect for one, a proper little cottage.
So I put an offer in and paid my holding fee yesterday. It was rash and probably not well thought out but I didn’t want to lose the opportunity. And I would have if I had waited.
But as I was laying in bed last night I had a sudden feeling of absolute dread. I didn’t sleep. I was wracked with panic attacks and sudden pain all over my body from an anxiety enduced fibromyalgia flare up. I laid there in the middle of the night and had a cry.
Thing is I’ve never lived on my own. Nearly 25 years and I’ve only ever been alone for a week max. And that was still in my own home, they just went on holiday.
I know it has to be done at some point but I always thought of it as a long term plan and now it’s happening. And I know I’ll love it. I’m painfully introverted, most days I don’t really like talking to people. But there’s a comfort in knowing their there. Especially at night when I seem to have my most extreme anxiety. I want to cancel the whole thing. So now I don’t know what way to turn.
Anyone else who lives alone (especially if you have autism, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia or anxiety) what are the pros and cons? Were you scared? Was it a good choice for you? I just want to make sure I’m making as much of an informed move as possible.
Thanks everyone.
So I put an offer in and paid my holding fee yesterday. It was rash and probably not well thought out but I didn’t want to lose the opportunity. And I would have if I had waited.
But as I was laying in bed last night I had a sudden feeling of absolute dread. I didn’t sleep. I was wracked with panic attacks and sudden pain all over my body from an anxiety enduced fibromyalgia flare up. I laid there in the middle of the night and had a cry.
Thing is I’ve never lived on my own. Nearly 25 years and I’ve only ever been alone for a week max. And that was still in my own home, they just went on holiday.
I know it has to be done at some point but I always thought of it as a long term plan and now it’s happening. And I know I’ll love it. I’m painfully introverted, most days I don’t really like talking to people. But there’s a comfort in knowing their there. Especially at night when I seem to have my most extreme anxiety. I want to cancel the whole thing. So now I don’t know what way to turn.
Anyone else who lives alone (especially if you have autism, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia or anxiety) what are the pros and cons? Were you scared? Was it a good choice for you? I just want to make sure I’m making as much of an informed move as possible.
Thanks everyone.
Replies
All I can say in the hope it helps. You've said it's just around the corner from family, so that's helpful, once you move in just get them to help you settle in if their prepared to come around to help you settle by staying a few hours a day.
I won't lie to you being on your own for the first few months you will feel so alone, what does me in is the winter time in the dark evenings, but on a plus it's your space.
It sounds like you have a supportive family.
I to have MH problems, physical issues and autism and COPD.
Think of it this way you have family that will help you im totally on my own.
If you take it Flossie I wish you well with it.
I created one of the campaign election videos for Labour, and Jeremy Corbyn,
This is a new version of Emeli Sande, Hope "You Are Not Alone
You can see the video here.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P5o8hRHh9IY
Thank you for asking. I managed to get a little sleep this morning so I'm feeling a little less sick. I also had a chat with my brother about it which really helped so I'm feeling a little less pressure and stress.
I think I might try and go for another viewing and then I can make a decision. Nothing rash this time though
Sorry to hear that your alone. And about your marriage. And thank you again for your advice and your support. If there's anything I can help you with let me know.
I get how lucky I am with family, I know a lot of people aren't as fortunate. Everything you said and suggested was comforting. I'm just not good with change I think. I mean I cried for a week when I had to change bedrooms a couple of years ago. Anyway thanks.
Scope community team
Like any big change, it's going to take time to adjust to your new situation, but this is also a real opportunity for personal growth and will probably lead to new-found independence for you. I understand some people read 'independence' and think 'alone', but you're also still very close to your family, so I imagine you'll be able to rely on them for support and that'll help with the transition.
Another viewing sounds like a really good idea. It might help you to remember all the reasons why you wanted to move out in the first place. If you do decide to take the plunge, there are some great tips online for getting used to living alone which I'd be happy to share with you.
Scope
The TV idea a good one. I'm definitely going to be setting up my record player in the living room if I do move in.
I'm sure I will be fine and I'll adjust its just madly scary and thank you for the 'brave girl'. I must be tired because that brought a tear to my eye.
Thank you.
Independence not alone. I like that. I guess its a change in mind set.
I think another viewing is a good idea. I just hope they let me. I'm sure they will. I was very overwhelmed the first time so it should be good.
Tips are always appreciated thank you !
The problem is being housebound limits you to what services you can access who do home visits, and you have to battle through long channels to get support.
@Flossie24 Thanks for that, but I'm used to it now, I have my 3 Boys visit so not so bad really the oldest is 40 now. I sound and feel old telling you that🙈
As for the marriage done 19 years I would get less time in prison 🤣🤣 im over that years ago. I've got my kids that's all I need now.
Flossie you need to take a chance at moving in, and if you can't hack it I'm sure your family will let you move back in at home.
O don't like change either that's why I'm stuck on my own, to be quite honest I prefer it that way now.
Good luck in whatever you choose.❤️
I created one of the campaign election videos for Labour, and Jeremy Corbyn,
This is a new version of Emeli Sande, Hope "You Are Not Alone
You can see the video here.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P5o8hRHh9IY
Have you ever heard of gated communities? If you are nervous they can reassure you. Not far from my apartment in another area of town some residents have installed them on their private cul de sac at the bottom.
I have a secret entry code to get into my apartment complex. We also have a cat. When we are not at home she guards the apartment. Look at your options. A second viewing is a good idea.
When I was looking at apartments I went for multiple viewings before making a decision.
Scope community team
Scope