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advice on how to handle school

April_Louise_22 Member Posts: 2 Listener
edited June 2019 in Autism and neurodiversity

hello I would like advise about this situation

After the diagnosis Mr B in my opinion seems to have changed his attitude with k I don’t think he is a bad teacher just doesn't seem equipped to help her.   

7th June my little girl which i'll call K came home crying saying she had been told off but didn’t know why I rang the school Mr B informed me that k had refused multiple times to fetch her book bag and she had stopped her feet. However the book bag was at home and k said she was afraid to admit she had forgotten it. I tried to express this to Mr B that it might be worth looking at why K is playing up also told him that she was excited about the trip. Also that when k is exited at Christmas and her birthday I experience k becoming excited and more erratic. I have noticed that k has a fear of the unknown this can also manifest her behaviour.  However Mr B actions seem to suggest that he did not take this on board.

13 June k was in tears again this time I got to speak to Mr B in the playground he was clearly agitated. He told k not hide behind me several times whilst explaining to me what had happened. He clearly stated that though k hadn’t been naughty she had not done her work. He explained her punishment of missing break and dinner to catch up on work. Though I agree that she should do the work I just don’t agree with his approach as he seemed to be doing it to fill a need on his part and not for k benefit.

Side note I have had k shut down on me before when she dose this I can not get her to speak, eat or even play. Understandably I would rather work on k behaviour than her to shut down again in a more constructive manner as shouting at her will not help no one    

Again I tried talking to Mr B he has sett a meeting on Thursday, however this is when the school is having a meeting with the children's new teachers. I rang the school to try to sort something out but as they haven't got the letter with the diagnoses it feels like they don't want to know. Though with some back and forth I got a quick chat with a miss L that is a part of scope. I just feel like i'm fighting a losing battle meanwhile the casualty is my little girl. 

How do I go sorting a special needs school out as k also struggles socially I just don't see mainstream as the best place for her     



  • wilko
    wilko Member Posts: 2,449 Disability Gamechanger
    @April_Louise_22, Hello and welcome, I think you will have to have a word with the head teacher reference to getting specialist education needs involved, your daughter may need to be assessed and only persistence will prevail schools haven’t got the funding or staff to cope with all our children’s special needs and waiting and relying on the involvement of the powers that be can be detrimental to your daughters education. You may have to go private for some help or advise but schools have duty of care and knowing your child’s entitlement will make you fight easier and the school will know your not a push over, let the community know how you get on I personally will be interested of your success.
  • April_Louise_22
    April_Louise_22 Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Thank you I know that it's going to be a long road with it all I just love my little girl so much I want what's best for her and it hurts to see her suffering.   
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @April_Louise_22 and a warm welcome to the community! Thank you for sharing this with us all. This sounds like a really hard situation for you both. Does your daughter have an EHCP? Is this up to date? The plan can include how they should be engaging with your daughter and what doesn't count as a punishable action Have you spoken to the SENCo? They may be able to have a word with this specific teacher. You're not alone in this and I hope we can get things sorted and more pleasant for yourself and your daughter :)

  • Beverley_Scope
    Beverley_Scope Scope Navigate service Posts: 84 Pioneering
    Hi @April_Louise_22

    Welcome to the community.  Your daughter will need and Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) if you want her to attend a special school.  It is during this process that you can put your thoughts about her education forward and state which school you would like her to go to.  
    That doesn't mean that she will necessarily get a place there or the panel may even agree but it is your best chance.

    It would be advisable to speak to the school SENCO regarding this process as they should have a lot of evidence that could be submitted in your favour.

    If you follow the link below it will take you to the IPSEA site which gives information on EHCPs.

    If your daughter already has an EHCP then she should be having annual reviews where issues like this should come up and your can state your interest in her attending a different school.  This would then have to go back to panel where evidence would be submitted and a decision would be made.

    If you have any concerns about the treatment of your daughter at the school at present, and are having no luck with the teacher or the SENCO, contact the head teacher with a list of your concerns, asking for a meeting.  Whatever you do, keep a paper trail so that you have written evidence of what you have tried.

    I hope this helps in some way.


    Beverley Davies
    Parent Advisor
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,572

    Scope community team

    Hi @April_Louise_22 and welcome to the community. Thank you for sharing all this and I hope with the benefit of Beverley's brilliant advice that you find something that works for your daughter.
    Please let us know how you get on and if you need any further advice, please don't hesitate to ask! :smile:
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