Who finds it difficult to make friends in adult life because of illness mental /physical?

Roddy

April2018mom said:

Roddy said:

April2018mom said:

martins said:

Yes my daughter does as people see the wheelchair and not the person sitting in it. My daughter has a great personality and is loved by people who take the time to speak to her but boys and people her age arent interested as all they see is a WHEELCHAIR.

I have had the same problem. My son does use a wheelchair but that tells you very little about him. How hard is it to look past the disability? It is not rocket science. 

It is all very sad when certain people cannot see beyond a wheelchair. A 'wheelchair' is by no means enough to judge the person who's in one. There are HUNDREDS of instances when a person can find themselves having to use one at some point, without necessarily having any ongoing disability. Some people have very shallow minds indeed, as is evident. 

I’m a secretive person so I don’t want to share medical details unless I absolutely have to. Even then I am still cautious about how much I tell other people. 

And that is your right, and your prerogative as an individual. Do 'we' go about asking personal details about those that we meet? No, most of us do not, and it should never be taken for granted either. My own concerns are my own business, to be shared ONLY when or if I decide to do so, and if that is a stumbling block to others, tough luck! There's much more to know about me, than my disabilities, and it is those things which should be of interest to others if they care to know me as the 'person' that I am. AMEN

sam12

Yes me to people mock us like drs to making out we dumb we just normal people u must stand up to bad people 

Tammyjane33

I am reading through All your comments to the questions people have answered and comments you have written. Please bare withw as there are lots of people I have to respond to and I wouldn't want to miss anyone out. 
Thankyou to everyone that has shared your experiences and person journeys here on the site. You have got this ❤️?be proud of yourself. 

worried33

I have struggled with it my entire life.

When I was younger people the problem was mostly my anxiety making me shy away from people, now its also people shying away from me as something about me I project makes people not want to be friends with me.

I would love to meet people like myself which I think would be a life changer but nothing like this has ever been offered to me.

natasha1

I've found it very difficult, I have no friends because of my disability. 

Richard_Scope

Hi @natasha1
Welcome to the community.
Meeting people and forming relationships can be a challenge. We are a friendly group and I'm sure you will find support here. I'm really pleased to have met you

natasha1

Thankyou Richard ??

Chloe_Alumni

Welcome to the community @natasha1, great to have you with us!

I'm sorry you have struggled to make friends and I hope the community will be able to help you.

Is there anything particular that we can help you with?

If you are just wanting to have a look around, then the Coffee Lounge is always a good place to start!

thespiceman

Hello @Tammyjane33   Thank you for sharing this .

I do think it is a problem.  We have this image this way we look and yet we have to prove our selves.

That we are a community and want to interact with others who may not be disabled or have illness or any conditions.

I have had problems still do.  

Loneliness is a burden just wish some one would and should have been my friends.

I have them here. Not outside .

Got rid of my last friend. He started . Stopped calling for one reason or another texts and anything else.

It is tragic in this day and age that you have to continue to remind your friends of past events.

Got and had enough if some one is not listening to you be supportive. Yet you are to them is it worth it.

One sided friendships never a good place to be in.

As I am a listening to them.. Being supportive taking my time . Again lost and lonely as they can not and do not wish to recognise me as a friend.

Causing vulnerability and lots of isolation is some thing I think all of us have experienced.

I just feel used and abused when in reality if this happened to him he would be the one to come on the phone and start listening. Being all the things I am he is not.

Spent so much times wasted and feel some days emotional.

This is a place I can talk about and share if I need to . No one can hurt and harm me.

Feel empty wondering who I can trust.

Trust is a big issue and this sometimes makes me wary of those who wish to cause and see me as a patsy.

Some one to get money off and use anything I have.  What ever they may be.

Take care.

@thespiceman

Tammyjane33

7@thespiceman thankyou so much for sharing. I have had similar experience with some of the issues you've stated above and one sided friendships aren't nice at all. I always think "have i done or said something wrong"? When in reality i haven't. 

thespiceman

Hello @Tammyjane33   Thank you for highlighting these issues.

I want to say your never alone on here. Always some one to talk to, guide and support with anything.

I be happy to listen to any one who needs to.  Including your good self.

I have friends on here. Good to be in the company of those who understand.

It is as I said the hard part is outside the negativity of those who I thought were my friends in relation to even call them family.

I have been thinking recently some people whom class as friends in the reality are just not worth the hassle and time if they cause your problems.

The sad and poignant truth is most of those who are not  part of our community. Cannot accept and ever think they would end up like my self.

Perhaps having a friend such as me is too close to home and he is seeing what I am going through.

I know from past events. The assessment the last one he attended. I had to share private, intimate parts of my lifestyle in the form to the assessor.

His look and his deameanour was in my opinion maybe the start of the downfall of our friendship.

As a friend do you accept those with issues they need to discuss can you handle it.

My thoughts are some can not.  Maybe the reason he probably thought can not and do not wish to be part of this.

Scary and frightening those of the social community who are not aware or if they are not admitting that if they see some one who is part of our community.

Might be them one day. After all two things can not stop getting old and with ageing may come disability.

In its many forms.  

All rings true.

Take care.

@thespiceman

kami24

I have issues making friends since teenage years as i feel no one relates to me or understands me especially anyone my age. I have bpd, emotionally up and down because hormone issues and very likely autism and i can't grasp why people would even want to socialise outside their family really and i get tense in social situations if the person seems to stare at you or think they are better. Also when you are disabled people judge you a certain way anyway and often think of you as 'less' and can even treat you as less particularly  with mentally ill people as the historical stereotypes make people judge you and its not as visable 

EmmaJane

It's certainly true that it's harder to make friends when you have a disability, but you have to keep trying, and I like to think that those people who I do count as friends are more mature and sensitive than those who won't bother with me because of my wheelchair.

Chloe_Alumni

Thank you for this @EmmaJane! I can certainly relate to that!