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Sensory problems and sex

songsofgallifrey Member Posts: 1 Listener
edited August 2019 in Autism and neurodiversity
I'm new here but I'm hoping someone can help with something I've dealt with for more than 10 years. 

I have Asperger's and I'm 28 years old, officially undiagnosed but I've been thoroughly screened by my psychiatrist and a behavioral doctor. My husband and I have been together since 2007 and we have 2 kids. Over the past year and a half that I've been in therapy I've been trying to get to the bottom of a lot of my issues including my aversion to sex. We have sex, I just pretty much only do it for him. It's not that it's particularly bad or not enjoyable, but I just rather wouldn't because it exhausts me mentally. Lately I've figured out that to me sex feels like another social skill I don't know how to navigate, plus it's overall overstimulating to the point of pain even when my husband is being patient and gentle. I struggle with driving for the same reason - too much to focus on until I can't handle it. I'm not currently on any meds except birth control and I've only been on that for about 6 months so that's not the problem. 

My question is, are there any adults here who have overcome this sensory problem and can you tell me how or what I can try? Thanks in advance. 


  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @songsofgallifrey and a very warm welcome to the community!

    Thank you for taking the time to share this with us all. I'm glad you have been able to explore this with a therapist. 

    I don't have any personal experiences of this, but here is a website that shows some ways to reduce sensory overload.

    If there is anything else we can do to help, then please do let us know!

  • DAVID55
    DAVID55 Member Posts: 13 Listener
    Hi, I do understand the Social Skill issues you are having in your physical relationship. I have issues with that also, difficulties trying to work out if/when/what is required from me is very distressing. 
    The way my partner and I overcome this is by setting specific days and times. My partner will tell me what she would like to do and how. Almost like making a list of choices. This is the only way I can cope with understanding what is expected. 

    I don't have any sensory issues, in fact quite the opposite. Hope the first part helps in some way. ?

  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you for sharing this with us @DAVID55

    How are you doing @songsofgallifrey? :)


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