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Newbie walking on egg shells

Holly123 Member Posts: 9 Connected
Hi guys 
new to the community, I have a daughter who is currently awaiting assessment for ASD. I’m looking for advice, ideas, or strategies to deal with her mood swings. She can manage 3 or 4 days in a good mood then slumps into a bad mood for a similar length of time. I’ve noticed anxiety and toileting can affect her mood. Quite honestly feel like I’m on egg shells waiting to be snapped at or worse! Xx


  • emmarenshaw
    emmarenshaw Member Posts: 711 Pioneering
    Hello @Holly123 I'm Emma, one of the Community Champions, who are here to help and advise. A warm welcome to the community.
     I'm going to tag @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors to see if they can assist you. 
  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,396 Pioneering
    Hi @Holly123
                            Welcome to the Community, thank you for joining us. The online community is a friendly and supportive place, with many lovely people wanting to help and support each other. Thank you for your honesty and hopefully the tag @emmarenshaw posted @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors will be able to help you. Best wishes and thank you. 
  • Holly123
    Holly123 Member Posts: 9 Connected
    @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors Would love to hear and offer of advice or suggestions x
  • Ails
    Ails Member Posts: 2,256 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Holly123 and welcome to the Community.  It is nice to meet you and thank you for sharing with us.  I'm sorry to hear that things are so stressful for you at the moment.  You have been given good information above and I'm sure @SparkleSheffieldAutismAdvisors will be able to offer you some support.  Please be assured that we are all here to support you too should you need it so just give us a shout if you need anything and let us know how you and your daughter are getting on.  All the best.  :smile:
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    Hello @Holly123. Have you contacted the National Autism Society or not? This is their website. You can find all contact numbers on their website as well. 
    They can offer some help etc. Good luck.
  • Holly123
    Holly123 Member Posts: 9 Connected
    Thankyou @April2018mom i will have a look on their website x
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,552

    Scope community team

    Hi @Holly123 and welcome to the community. There's some tips on behaviour here that might be of use to you. Unfortunately there's enormous waits on assessments. In my area there's an 18-month to 2-year wait. Hopefully your daughter's won't be as long. :smile:
    Community Manager

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  • Holly123
    Holly123 Member Posts: 9 Connected
    Thank you it’s a pretty long wait for us to. The GDA seemed fast but a long wait for CHAMS 
  • MobileGames
    MobileGames Member Posts: 100 Courageous
    Welcome aboard. I can relate to your daughters up and down moods. I get snappy half the time,not physically,but verbally,then I feel rotten afterwards and apologise to my parents,who say they are used to it. I mainly cry when it gets too much and ruminate on it,been waiting 31 weeks so far,got another 23 to go,on average waiting time in my area. Are there any things that help to calm your daughter a bit? I find going to a mental health group helps or doing a hobby,something to drown myself in or watching a comedy. Half the time I do find it hard to even muster up the motivation to do a hobby,but then I think if I can just do just one thing in the day to help calm me,it hasn't been wasted and it's made me distract myself from the long and stressful wait? Is she on any anxiety medication? Does she have friends that she can see,even if she's only up to a one hour visit or them coming to see her? Or someone else to talk to besides you? I find seeing friends,even though I see them for a short while and seeing them at groups,hobbies that aren't too overwhelming and taxing such as mobile games,watching TV,colouring in,going for a gentle walk,doing a few word puzzles then going onto something else because I get nauseous with the print,helps a bit. The thoughts are still there,but it's better than lying in bed all day,which I did do twice last week and it just made it worse. At least if I've done just one thing in the day,I've done something. I don't know if this is any help. Hang in there. The wait will be stressful,but when you eventually see that letter for a Tribunal date land on your doormat,you'll know that you'll be even closer to fighting for what your daughter deserves. I'm dreading going there,but I can only say it as it is and try to concerntate on the descriptors and why I can't do them. Does your daughter have someone else besides you to go with her? Or perhaps get in touch with the CAB to see if they can take on the case? They can provide written representation. If you sign a consent form and send it back,you may be able to get a benefits case worker assigned to the case. They get in touch with the tribunal and a copy of your bundle goes to them to look at. Best of luck. 
  • Holly123
    Holly123 Member Posts: 9 Connected
    Thank you @MobileGames it’s fascinating to hear you explain how you feel, hearing it from your point of view helps me understand how my daughter feels. As you mentioned I try to encourage her to come for a walk or see her cousins etc. I previously thought her reluctance to do these activities was due to her wanting to be difficult or annoying so to hear you say it takes a lot of strength to muster up that energy, I feel bad that I sometimes force her to do things. You sound very strong but yes the waiting game is so tough 
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Member Posts: 122 Pioneering
    Hi, Im pretty new here myself, I have my problem's, but I have a 17 year old son who suffers from anxiety and depression, and he has recently been diagnosed with ptsd after being robbed and beaten when he was 14,he has some serious mood swings and won't leave the house without me or his mam, I really feel for you when it's your child 


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