Feeling hollow

gillian72

@MickConnon hi mick I'm feeling so hollow an confused after finally telling my dr how bad my depression  had got and asked to go back on Prozac been on them for about 8weeks now my past was all spinning like a jigsaw in my head finally  cleared  up  and I started seeing the mess I  have made  and thinking all my health problems  were  part of my depression and after telling my dr all  symptoms she sent me  for Mri on my brain and my spine ,I've had my back probs for 10 yrs  so now my brain scan  was abnormal and have to. See specialist neurology for more tests  and I don't know if I'm coming or going  at the moment  I feel hollow and empty if that makes. Sense

Adrian_Scope

Hi @gillian72. It sounds like you’re having a really tough time at the moment. Do you have any idea when you’ll get your first neurology appointment?

gillian72

@Adrian_Scope hi Adrian, I have no idea  it took 6weeks to see dr after being called in so I don't think it's that serious,it said on Mri multi focal bilateral deep white matter high signal foci would normally be seen in a much older person so given my age group, the differentials to consider would include demyelination and premature chronic small vessel ischaemic changes and further specialist neurology review, targeted demyelination screening and carotid duplex evaluation advised

gillian72

Type your comment

Adrian_Scope

I hope it's nothing serious and the appointment comes soon. Let us know how you get on.

gillian72

@Adrian_Scope, thank you I will do, but setting a side my health problems what I was ment to say is how do u try to get over the breakdown and start to try to get yourself better it just feels like unless u have i got mental health problems and self harm tattoo on ur head  when u get told things like what do u mean U haven't got a Mobil phone or ur not as hard faced as u look, or don't be silly u must have friends or ask someone to come to my home an get told well ur not actually house bound ,and the adverts on telly let's talk yes I understand all that I'd love to  go to lonely people's  home pop in for a chat an cups of tea its  just feeling hard to get to that  stage again  it  kidda feels like where do I start and some days I think il stop taking my antidepressants an got back to how I was it just feels so hard as to where to start if u get what I mean , sorry it's took 2days to write this to try an say how I'm feeling  I hope this makes sense as to how I'm feeling I just feel overwhelmed at the moment with debt and stuff by ignoring it an hiding away instead  

Adrian_Scope

Hi @gillian72 and thanks for sharing. I can appreciate how difficult it probably was to put this into words. Right now I imagine it seems overwhelming. Your to-do list probably feels huge and made up of goals that seem vague and unobtainable. I think the key here is looking at your life and finding small, achievable changes you might be able to make that would chip away at the bigger picture. Don't think of it so much as having to get yourself better, that's a big goal, but it's one that's made up of much smaller goals.

What would help you feel like you're better? Once you know the ways you might feel better, you can break those down even further into smaller and smaller goals until you're tackling things that are really quite simple, but working towards that ultimate goal. Sometimes a simple thing like changing one small thing and then sticking to it until it becomes habit can really help to turn things around.

It is hard and the thoughtless remarks some people make can really wear on you and knock you back, but there are resources out there and sometimes the words of others can really help. Mind and Rethink have some great suggestions for peer support and self-care you might like to try if you're interested in getting back out there.

gillian72

@Adrian_Scope, thank you for ur reply, it has made me cry a little but a good tear ,an ur words have. Made me feel much better and clearer don't run b4 u can walk , il take one day at a time an il take a look at mind an rethink thank you  

Adrian_Scope

I'm glad it's made you feel a bit better @gillian72. As a community, we're here and happy to support you, so if you need anything or just need to talk, don't hesitate to let us know.

gillian72

I've had enough I just cant do anything right ,it's just took nearly 12 weeks  an £18 phone bill to get my housing benefit back, living on £104 pw £52 pw goes back to council and rent top up , like I haven't got enough problems  just when I found  a  dr who has listen to me and  I trust  as sent me to all the right appointments I feel like I've let her down aswell 

Adrian_Scope

Hi @gillian72. It might be worth getting some local benefit advice so you can make sure you're receiving everything you're entitled to. If you pop your postcode into https://advicelocal.uk/ you might find an agency near to you who could help.

gillian72

@Adrian_Scope and @woodbine thank you both  4 ur replys atm  my head is all over the place  I swear the cpunctil have got it in 4me wow it's gone up to £55pm an £45pw I haven't even been to the shop its heat or eat atm  I'm gonna have to not  pay the £55  an end up in dept with them  coz I think we're gonna end up in  lock down any minute , I'm still trying to learn how to get round this website I'm so thick ? Lol