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Should disabled and ill people go on holiday?
paffuto10
Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
Yes, why on earth not?
I get annoyed when non disabled and people with full health are surprised when I mention a holiday!!
Not that we have a lot of holidays, we had 4 days earlier this year and none last year.
I feel that I am entitled to breaks (when health allows) as much as anyone.
I asked a neighbour why she was surprised (me thinking maybe this is about money) and she replied that she knew I was often laid up and struggle to go out. I explained that if I'm going to be laid up anyhow I may as well be laid up in a b and b.
A break's as good as a rest.
So it's not about money, it seems to be the idea that I actually need a holiday or can manage one.
Has anyone else come across this strange opinion?
I get annoyed when non disabled and people with full health are surprised when I mention a holiday!!
Not that we have a lot of holidays, we had 4 days earlier this year and none last year.
I feel that I am entitled to breaks (when health allows) as much as anyone.
I asked a neighbour why she was surprised (me thinking maybe this is about money) and she replied that she knew I was often laid up and struggle to go out. I explained that if I'm going to be laid up anyhow I may as well be laid up in a b and b.
A break's as good as a rest.
So it's not about money, it seems to be the idea that I actually need a holiday or can manage one.
Has anyone else come across this strange opinion?
Replies
thanks for your reply.
Yes, that's exactly what we do, deal with it as we go along.
I'm sorry you've had to put up with rude comments. Really can't understand why some people have a problem with it.
It can be quite upsetting because it's difficult enough as it is, isn't it?
We once sent a lovely postcard to some neighbours and when we returned they actually stopped speaking to us!!
That sounds bliss
We went in a b and b for four days in May (anniversary) and had a lovely time. The owner was great, gave us a ground floor room, made sure I had enough room at breakfast, etc.
Being in pain at the seaside is much better than being in pain at home!!
I think I will just have to stop telling the neighbours, that's all!
I have given up trying to explain to most people what I cannot do- reason being is they then think your pulling the lead or skiving.
My point of view is if I could afford to go on holiday, then apart from the stress going there, very nice and if your in a similar situation and can afford it I wish you a good holiday.
The discriminatory behaviour your facing is the underlying:-
1) You need to work to have a holiday.
2) Yes Yes your disabled but it is a lifestyle choice.
3) This Idea some people have that being disabled is a privilege and as you sit home all day, why should “they” the tax payer happy to claim tax credits etc pay for it.
4) good old fashioned jealousy
Until we disabled get moved from being seen as a camp for the bone idle by some, nothing will change.
Autism, Pride etc is just a fad most people appear to accept- their underlying discriminatory feelings are still there.
What other people do with their benefits is none of my business though!
What separates the “deserving” from the “undeserving” I have no idea!
@paffuto10 ….excellent point well made.
My benefits are paid to help me cope with my serious mobility problems and for no other reason. Any further spending on the likes of a holiday comes out of my meagre rapidly diminishing savings. I used to enjoy at least one foreign holiday per year before the situation worsened to the point that I couldn't get insurance. I now go to British locations and usually stay in budget hotels which are always excellent. Without my Motability car and scooter I would be housebound.
Being in pain at the seaside is much better than being in pain at home!! is a great quote from further up. Great Britain & Northern Ireland is full of beautiful interesting places for a holiday.
Best wishes.
DLTBGYD
There are organisations, companies that specialise in assistance for those with disabilities or conditions or illness.
Have a look on line.
https://www.limitlesstravel.org.
Please take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
Cost.
*Accommodation
We managed to get B and B for £20 each per night. (special offer in early May)
*Train travel
We used my disabled railcard.
Daughter drove us to the station.
*Food
Breakfast:
At guest house.
Lunch:
Cheese and french stick from supermarket.
Evening meal:
2 nights we bought cooked chicken from supermarket with portion of ready cooked rice.
1 night ready made salad from supermarket with leftover french stick.
1 night chippie.
*Drinks:
Guest house owner filled flask of tea for us every morning.
Bottled water from supermarket.
*Snacks
Fresh fruit from supermarket
So quite cheap really.
It was lovely sitting on bench in front of the sea (even though I could only manage half hour a day)
Hoping to do it again next anniversary
As always, thanks for the link
That's sorted my afternoon reading for me.
So you can be darn sure if I make the choice to take money out of those areas and put them towards a holiday, I'm doing it because I believe it's genuinely important for me to prioritize my mental health in that way. And IMO nobody has the right to shame me for that.
Secondly, I think something able-bodied people don't understand is that being disabled is often in itself a form of work - I essentially have to be my own carer. And unlike someone working a conventional job, when I go on holiday I don't get a break from that - my disability and the work that goes with it doesn't disappear while I'm away from home. In that sense, I don't truly get a holiday at all, at least not in the way an able-bodied person would.
@Junket, thanks for that.
Our break was still a struggle, but a more pleasant one.
Please can I add something to consider and think about.
I have always found getting help and support with my issues.
Whether disability or mental health.
With that of course comes the days out the conferences a weekend away.
With other members like yourself from all over the Country.
A pleasant time. Been to London, Birmingham several times.
Trips day ones and lots of support get you thinking about being in contact with those who are similar.
Then you support each other maybe look at helping those like yourself or those who could be friends.
Just a thought.
Look on line please if I can help or give anything to any community members.
Organisations or associations or anything else. Connected with their issues or problems.
Please get in touch.
As a community champion I do think goals, aims and things you may wish to do. Can be achieved it is finding that information.
Understand may be problems or difficulties. Some volunteering I used to do for various mental health charities or disabled charities led me to fund raising and lots of events.
Often to places all over the Country meeting other people.
There are lots of organisations like charities who have weekends way with those of our community who are young, children or maybe have a lifelong illness.
Is that not an idea to think could help them have a few days away and feel the love and respect for my self but put towards good cause.
I used to go to Summer Camp a long time ago. Meeting those children and families who were from hospice care or had long term illness.
Felt inside the whole soul and being uplifting . Giving my time and energy. Lots of laughs the way the families cope not sad but fun, enjoyable.
Never thought about my own issues no self pity no crying time just a pleasant weekends way.
When we think of holidays does not have to be a sunny place but giving back, be supportive can result in leisure time and weekends away.
Wish every body well and think positive.
We can achieve so much.
Please take care.
@thespiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
I agree also that disabled people deserve a break (or as near to one as is possible) from their “job” just like anyone with a “normal” job.
Not matter what your personal situation is and what you spend your benefit money on is no one else's business.
Everyone enjoys different things in life so if that's a holiday that makes you smile and look foward go for it if your health allows you.
The last thing i could do for my mum before she passed away was take her on holiday one last time as she knew she was dying. And she didnt use her benefits money i paid. She loved her holidays and she had various disabilities should that have stopped not a chance.
So to all of you who want go on holiday to relax and make memories my advice is go for it and have a ball.
Sorry about your your mum
With the issues I have, I wouldn't be able to use a B&B sadly. I'd need to find something fully self contained with a personal toilet and kitchen and supply all of my own food which I would assume to be a lot more expensive. I'd also have to spend hours disinfecting the place before I could do anything else, and not even sure I'd be able to relax away from home. Plus I can't use public transport or travel far which makes a holiday a bit futile, as it would have to be within ~45 mins drive of my home lol. I do find it frustrating that I'm more restricted by my brain than a lot of people are with physical issues. I definitely can't afford it while I'm on ESA alone, but if (and that is a massive if!) I get PIP, maybe it's something I should consider in future.
I am quite lucky to live near the coast though, I try and get a bit of time by the water, either a river or the sea once a week so I completely understand what you get from doing that!
I get respite funding with my Direct Payments. I take short breaks with my carer. It gives my hubby a break from caring for me. I get a change of scenery.
Why shouldn't disabled people have holidays too?
I couldn't do holidays without carers packing.unpacking and doing the normal caring for me.
I help run a disabled holiday group on facebook. There loads of suitably adapted places available. If anyone would like to browse through it, it`s called `Limited Mobility & Wheelchair Friendly Holiday Accommodation. Join if you like!
Thank for your kind words.
I would do anything in this world to be able to still take her on holiday.
Sorry i went on a bit of a rant last night.....it just frustrates me when i read silly things.
At the end of the day you live your life for you and do what makes you happy.....being disabled shouldn't even come into it.
I have to say i used to go abroad with my mum since my dad passed away "as often as i would give into her 🙂 "
and we were very fortunate to have always been treated and helped in the most respectful and kind way by lovely people at home and abroad.
I hope all of you thinking of going on holiday do and have an amazing time .
Good for you Poppy....may you keep enjoying your holidays and your daughter also.
Unfortunately, there are some people who believe that unless we are bedridden and at deaths door we arent really disabled so we must be scamming. God forgive us if we need a change of scenery or a break from the cold that makes our pain worse. We arent supposed to have dreams of seeing anything of the world other than the 4walls immediately around us.
I bet these are the same narrow minded bigots who resent us having motability cars or carers, infact, they believe disabled people should be kept out of sight and out of mind. Our very existence is a crime according to them.
When i was a school kid i wanted to hike up mount kilamanjaro but my health let me down. Even now id love to travel far and wide to see some of the places i have read about ,mainly central america to visit the ancient Mayan and Aztec sites but i will have to be content to sitting in the back yard reading national geographic instead.never mind.sometimes a visit from friends is more than enough to keep my spirits up. My long haul travel days are over unless i win the lottery.
I worked hard for 45 years before i became ill and i deserve a break as much as the next person.
To be valued
To be Loved
To be Free to make choices
To be financially independent
Life is hard enough, without being told that somehow we are less worthy, that our issues are our fault- I didn’t choose my ailments like a package holiday.
I’d love to take the kids for a week somewhere warm and sunny- but cannot afford passports and the cost.
Think I will keep it quiet from neighbours though!
For severely disabled there is no doubt that someone needs to be with you especially if you want to fly somewhere. There isn't anyway that I have found for a severely disabled person on a scooter or in a chair to manage a large case of clothes through airports or train stations without relying on LOTS of help from people around you.
My last holiday (in fact the only one in 10 years) was to fly to Italy for 3 nights a couple of years ago with my son because I simply couldn't figure out how to manage enough clothes for him to deal with as well as dealing with me. I was hoping to go again last year but, due to ignorance and incompetence my GP surgery have ensured it will never happen (there are other things they have caused problems with too but that would be off-topic).
We are a minority and therefore shouldn't expect too much from the people organizing holidays for the healthy but a little more thoughtfulness from organisations who claim to specialize in disability holidays would be nice instead of conforming to simple stereotypes.
TK
WE have so many providers, who offer ground floor rooms with easy access, profiling beds, hoists, shower chairs and wet rooms.
There are charities who offer holiday grants and there are subsidised places too.
I've finally got round to complaining to the local government ombudsman about the Abusive nature of direct payments removal that others and myself have suffered after law society and a solicitor advised me this was only way.
Never know may be able to afford a holiday if compensation - some how doubt it will happen.
Very laudable and worthwhile and if only it was easier for us to get from place to place life would be so much better. Unfortunately travel is more aimed at healthy people and is run by and administered by healthy people who simply do not understand the additional needs of the disabled. Travel becomes a matter of looking pathetic and hoping someone nearby will come to the rescue.
Well done you though!
TK
Scope
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Great to read you enjoy holidays x
It`s a shame you don't know just how much help is out there. I found it.
Very true @Topkitten.....the main problem I have is with the travelling involved. Public transport of virtually all types is difficult at its very best. And that's when I'm having one of my better days.
Best wishes.
DLTBGYD