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Should disabled and ill people go on holiday?

paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
Yes, why on earth not?

 I get annoyed when non disabled and people with full health are surprised when I mention a holiday!! 

Not that we have a lot of holidays, we had 4 days earlier this year and none last year. 

I feel that I am entitled to breaks (when health allows) as much as anyone. 

I asked a neighbour why she was surprised (me thinking maybe this is about money) and she replied that she knew I was often laid up and struggle to go out. I explained that if I'm going to be laid up anyhow I may as well be laid up in a b and b.  :)
A break's as good as a rest. 

So it's not about money, it seems to be the idea that I actually need a holiday or can manage one. 

Has anyone else come across this strange opinion? 

Replies

  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
     @stephenjohn
    thanks for your reply. 

    Yes, that's exactly what we do, deal with it as we go along. 

    I'm sorry you've had to put up with rude comments. Really can't understand why some people have a problem with it. 

    It can be quite upsetting because it's difficult enough as it is, isn't it? 

    We once sent a lovely postcard to some neighbours and when we returned they actually stopped speaking to us!! 
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    @chiarieds

    That sounds bliss  :)

    We went in a b and b for four days in May (anniversary) and had a lovely time. The owner was great, gave us a ground floor room, made sure I had enough room at breakfast, etc. 

    Being in pain at the seaside is much better than being in pain at home!!  :)

    I think I will just have to stop telling the neighbours, that's all! 
  • woodbinewoodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 3,796 Disability Gamechanger
    Yes we are as entitled to a holiday the same as anyone else is
    my advice is given freely and is correct to the best of my knowledge.
  • WhileIBreathIHopeWhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Member
    I work and and have enough issues to be classed as Disabilities ( I hate that word)
    I have given up trying to explain to most people what I cannot do- reason being is they then think your pulling the lead or skiving.

    My point of view is if I could afford to go on holiday, then apart from the stress going there, very nice and if your in a similar situation and can afford it I wish you a good holiday.

    The discriminatory behaviour  your facing is the underlying:-
    1) You need to work to have a holiday.
    2) Yes Yes your disabled but it is a lifestyle choice.
    3) This Idea some people have that being disabled is a privilege and as you sit home all day, why should “they” the tax payer happy to claim tax credits etc pay for it.
    4) good old fashioned jealousy 

    Until we disabled get moved from being seen as a camp for the bone idle by some, nothing will change.

    Autism, Pride etc is just a fad most people appear to accept- their underlying discriminatory feelings are still there.

  • April2018momApril2018mom Posts: 2,869 Member
    We went away during the summer. It was lovely, we spent 2 weeks in the States in a villa. My son loved the pool and clubhouse. Even driving was not too bad as we stopped at a service station for snacks and to use the bathroom. I'm glad we went on a layover flight even with having to disembark and collect everything, it was worth the hassle. Why not? 
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,263 Disability Gamechanger
    Unpopular opinion here...but I see a holiday as a luxury that I don't deserve whilst living on benefits.  (Not that I could afford one anyway lol) 

    What other people do with their benefits is none of my business though! :)
  • 66Mustang66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 4,681 Disability Gamechanger
    A fair opinion, OverlyAnxious. That said, I’ve heard about people on disability benefits being given money for “respite” so the government must think at least some disabled people deserve a holiday.

    What separates the “deserving” from the “undeserving” I have no idea!
  • exdvrexdvr Member Posts: 314 Pioneering
    Unpopular opinion here...but I see a holiday as a luxury that I don't deserve whilst living on benefits.  (Not that I could afford one anyway lol) 

    What other people do with their benefits is none of my business though! :)

    @paffuto10 ….excellent point well made.
    My benefits are paid to help me cope with my serious mobility problems and for no other reason.  Any further spending on the likes of a holiday comes out of my meagre rapidly diminishing savings.  I used to enjoy at least one foreign holiday per year before the situation worsened to the point that I couldn't get insurance.  I now go to British locations and usually stay in budget hotels which are always excellent. Without my Motability car and scooter I would be housebound.

    Being in pain at the seaside is much better than being in pain at home!!  is a great quote from further up.  Great Britain & Northern Ireland is full of beautiful interesting places for a holiday.

    Best wishes.

    DLTBGYD

  • SeanchaiSeanchai Member Posts: 411 Pioneering
    My health (COPD..accident damage to my leg ...menieres etc).  is much worse in the cold , damp weather...so we used to save hard during the summer months so we could go to spain or portugal a couple of times during the winter months . As soon as i stepped off the plane my breathing was/ is so much easier. Had our plans of our working life had worked out we would have been in south of Spain or Portugal permanently ....but ....the plans of mice and men.  People used to remark about us " not going  away on holiday again are you" ? ...It bothered my wife more than i , we don,t smoke , we don,t drink , we never go out anywhere  and i would not call my breaks in winter a " Holiday" as such , it's something we do that allows us to feel a bit better health wise ....and also recharge our batteries for our long hard winter .🌧☂️
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited October 2019
    Hello @paffuto10   Thank you for your post.

    There are organisations, companies that specialise in assistance for those with disabilities or conditions or illness.

    Have a look on line.

    https://www.limitlesstravel.org.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    @OverlyAnxious

    Cost. 

    *Accommodation
    We managed to get B and B for £20 each per night. (special offer in early May) 

    *Train travel
    We used my disabled railcard. 
    Daughter drove us to the station. 

    *Food 
    Breakfast:
    At guest house. 

    Lunch:
    Cheese and french stick from supermarket. 

    Evening meal:
    2 nights we bought cooked chicken from supermarket with portion of ready cooked rice. 
    1 night ready made salad from supermarket with leftover french stick. 
    1 night chippie. 

    *Drinks: 
    Guest house owner filled flask of tea for us every morning. 
    Bottled water from supermarket. 

    *Snacks 
    Fresh fruit from supermarket 

    So quite cheap really. 

    It was lovely sitting on bench in front of the sea (even though I could only manage half hour a day) 

    Hoping to do it again next anniversary  :)
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    @thespiceman

    As always, thanks for the link  :)

    That's sorted my afternoon reading for me.  ;)
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Junket said:
    Any money I spend on a holiday is money I'm not spending on other things that might make my life more bearable as a disabled person - for example, upkeep of my mobility scooter, meals on wheels, taxis on the days I wouldn't be able to get out of the house without them, etc.
    So you can be darn sure if I make the choice to take money out of those areas and put them towards a holiday, I'm doing it because I believe it's genuinely important for me to prioritize my mental health in that way. And IMO nobody has the right to shame me for that.

    Secondly, I think something able-bodied people don't understand is that being disabled is often in itself a form of work - I essentially have to be my own carer. And unlike someone working a conventional job, when I go on holiday I don't get a break from that - my disability and the work that goes with it doesn't disappear while I'm away from home. In that sense, I don't truly get a holiday at all, at least not in the way an able-bodied person would.
    Completely agree with your comment
     @Junket, thanks for that. 

    Our break was still a struggle, but a more pleasant one. 

  • WhileIBreathIHopeWhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Member
    edited October 2019
    Junket said:
    Any money I spend on a holiday is money I'm not spending on other things that might make my life more bearable as a disabled person - for example, upkeep of my mobility scooter, meals on wheels, taxis on the days I wouldn't be able to get out of the house without them, etc.
    So you can be darn sure if I make the choice to take money out of those areas and put them towards a holiday, I'm doing it because I believe it's genuinely important for me to prioritize my mental health in that way. And IMO nobody has the right to shame me for that.

    Secondly, I think something able-bodied people don't understand is that being disabled is often in itself a form of work - I essentially have to be my own carer. And unlike someone working a conventional job, when I go on holiday I don't get a break from that - my disability and the work that goes with it doesn't disappear while I'm away from home. In that sense, I don't truly get a holiday at all, at least not in the way an able-bodied person would.
    Maybe
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello every one thanks for comments and sharing a informative post.

    Please can I add something to consider and think about.

    I have always found getting help and support with my issues.

    Whether disability or mental health.

    With that of course comes the days out the conferences a weekend away.

    With other members like yourself from all over the Country.

    A pleasant time. Been to London, Birmingham several times.

    Trips day ones and lots of support get you thinking about being in contact with those who are similar.

    Then you support each other maybe look at helping those like yourself or those who could be friends.

    Just a thought.

    Look on line please if I can help or give anything to any community members.

    Organisations or associations or anything else. Connected with their issues or problems.

    Please get in touch. 

    As a community champion I do think goals, aims and things you may wish to do. Can be achieved it is finding that information.

    Understand may be problems or difficulties.  Some volunteering I used to do for various mental health charities or disabled charities led me to fund raising and lots of events.

    Often to places all over the Country meeting other people.

    There are lots of organisations like charities who have weekends way with those of our community who are young, children or maybe have a lifelong illness.

    Is that not an idea to think could help them have a few days away and feel the love and respect for my self but put towards good cause.

    I used to go to Summer Camp a long time ago.  Meeting those children and families who were from hospice care or had long term illness.

    Felt inside the whole soul and being uplifting . Giving my time and energy.  Lots of laughs the way the families cope not sad but fun, enjoyable.

    Never thought about my own issues no self pity no crying time just a pleasant weekends way.

    When we think of holidays does not have to be a sunny place but giving back, be supportive can result in leisure time and weekends away.

    Wish every body well and think positive.

    We can achieve so much.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman




    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    Thanks for that @saz11

    Sorry about your your mum  <3
  • OverlyAnxiousOverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,263 Disability Gamechanger
    paffuto10 said:

    So quite cheap really. 

    It was lovely sitting on bench in front of the sea (even though I could only manage half hour a day) 
    That is interesting, I didn't realise you could get B&B's so cheaply.  I wouldn't even consider May to be too far out of season...maybe if it was January! :D  

    With the issues I have, I wouldn't be able to use a B&B sadly. I'd need to find something fully self contained with a personal toilet and kitchen and supply all of my own food which I would assume to be a lot more expensive.  I'd also have to spend hours disinfecting the place before I could do anything else, and not even sure I'd be able to relax away from home.  Plus I can't use public transport or travel far which makes a holiday a bit futile, as it would have to be within ~45 mins drive of my home lol.  I do find it frustrating that I'm more restricted by my brain than a lot of people are with physical issues.  I definitely can't afford it while I'm on ESA alone, but if (and that is a massive if!) I get PIP, maybe it's something I should consider in future. 

    I am quite lucky to live near the coast though, I try and get a bit of time by the water, either a river or the sea once a week so I completely understand what you get from doing that! :)
  • saz11saz11 Member Posts: 121 Pioneering
    @paffuto10

    Thank for your kind words.

    I would do anything in this world to be able to still take her on holiday.

    Sorry i went on a bit of a rant last night.....it just frustrates me when i read silly things.


    At the end of the day you live your life for you and do what makes you happy.....being disabled shouldn't even come into it.

    I have to say i used to go abroad with my mum since my dad passed away "as often as i would give into her 🙂 "
    and we were very fortunate to have always been treated and helped in the most respectful and kind way by lovely people at home and abroad.

    I hope all of you thinking of going on holiday do and have an amazing time .


  • WhileIBreathIHopeWhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Member
    chiarieds said:
    Hi @WhileIBreathIHope My son shopped at Tesco often, & also shopped for me there too whilst waiting for his wife to finish work, & I said to just use his Tesco card for my shopping. He used the 'points' gained to find our first holiday away. With the company he used we got a £100 discount to stay in a cottage (self catering) for a week. It cost us £87 each I remember, which didn't seem too bad for a 7 night break.....just a thought.

    I do appreciate some of your points of view; I don't consider myself 'disabled,' rather a person that has problems, which cause me difficulties. It's all just semantics anyway. I understand the word 'disease' is really dis-ease...so you're not 'at ease,' as you feel unwell. So disability to me means you are dis-abled.....less able than another to do some things, that's all.

    Perhaps some people perceive anyone who receives a benefit as scrounging 'couch potatoes' with large TVs & many pets, due to several TV documentaries in recent years. I had hoped that understanding people with genuine physical/mental health issues, or a combination of both, would be seen in a way better light, whilst it 'may' be harder to get others to understand 'invisible disorders' sadly.

    I do explain to taxi drivers when I ask them to grab my elbow crutches & they say, 'What have you done to yourself?'....saying. 'I have a genetic disorder which has caused arthritis in many joints.' To some I do say, 'I have the hypermobile type of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome & Chiari 1 Malformation.' 'Oh,' they say....no more questions, as they haven't a clue what I've just said! I do use these 2 approaches depending on the person's enquiry.
    Exactly some people do not have a capacity to understand and I don’t think if you have food and utilities paid for- have and enjoy a holiday.
  • saz11saz11 Member Posts: 121 Pioneering
    @poppy123456

    Good for you Poppy....may you keep enjoying your holidays and your daughter also. 


  • mrbuttonsmrbuttons Member Posts: 221 Pioneering
    Just like anyone else in society i could do well with a week sitting on a sun drenched beach gazing up at a cloudless blue sky.
    Unfortunately, there are some people who believe that unless we are bedridden and at deaths door we arent really disabled so we must  be scamming. God forgive us if we need a change of scenery or a break from the cold that makes our pain worse. We arent supposed to have dreams of seeing anything of the world other than the 4walls immediately around us.
    I bet these are the same narrow minded bigots who resent us having motability cars or carers, infact,  they believe disabled people should be kept out of sight and out of mind. Our very existence is a crime according to them.

    When i was a school kid i wanted to hike up mount kilamanjaro but my health let me down. Even now id love to travel far and wide to see some of the places i have read about ,mainly central america to visit the ancient Mayan and Aztec sites but i will have to be content to sitting in the back yard reading national geographic instead.never mind.sometimes a visit from friends is more than enough to keep my spirits up. My long haul travel days are over unless i win the lottery. B)
  • vikingqueenvikingqueen Member Posts: 359 Pioneering
    Well said @poppy123456, i'm in your corner, i will defy anyone to say i am not entitled to go away every year.
          I worked hard for 45 years before i became ill and i deserve a break as much as the next person.
  • WhileIBreathIHopeWhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Member
    mrbuttons said:
    Just like anyone else in society i could do well with a week sitting on a sun drenched beach gazing up at a cloudless blue sky.
    Unfortunately, there are some people who believe that unless we are bedridden and at deaths door we arent really disabled so we must  be scamming. God forgive us if we need a change of scenery or a break from the cold that makes our pain worse. We arent supposed to have dreams of seeing anything of the world other than the 4walls immediately around us.
    I bet these are the same narrow minded bigots who resent us having motability cars or carers, infact,  they believe disabled people should be kept out of sight and out of mind. Our very existence is a crime according to them.

    When i was a school kid i wanted to hike up mount kilamanjaro but my health let me down. Even now id love to travel far and wide to see some of the places i have read about ,mainly central america to visit the ancient Mayan and Aztec sites but i will have to be content to sitting in the back yard reading national geographic instead.never mind.sometimes a visit from friends is more than enough to keep my spirits up. My long haul travel days are over unless i win the lottery. B)
    Do we not all want

    To be valued
    To be Loved
    To be Free to make choices
    To be financially independent 

    Life is hard enough, without being told that somehow we are less worthy, that our issues are our fault- I didn’t choose my ailments like a package holiday.

    I’d love to take the kids for a week somewhere warm and sunny- but cannot afford passports and the cost.
  • paffuto10paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    edited November 2019
    I think most of us are agreed that (if we can afford it) we are all entitled to holidays or short breaks, as much as anyone else.   B)


    Think I will keep it quiet from neighbours though!  ;)
  • TopkittenTopkitten Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
    There is no reason why holidays should not be available to all. I would like to say though that due to the complications caused by disability etc. people ALWAYS assume that someone will have to go with them to help and look after them. Almost every disabled holiday I looked into on specialized sites assumed that the disabled will only go as part of a family group and will want to be away for 'normal' healthy people, stuffed into some cabin somewhere in the woods.

    For severely disabled there is no doubt that someone needs to be with you especially if you want to fly somewhere. There isn't anyway that I have found for a severely disabled person on a scooter or in a chair to manage a large case of clothes through airports or train stations without relying on LOTS of help from people around you.

    My last holiday (in fact the only one in 10 years) was to fly to Italy for 3 nights a couple of years ago with my son because I simply couldn't figure out how to manage enough clothes for him to deal with as well as dealing with me. I was hoping to go again last year but, due to ignorance and incompetence my GP surgery have ensured it will never happen (there are other things they have caused problems with too but that would be off-topic).

    We are a minority and therefore shouldn't expect too much from the people organizing holidays for the healthy but a little more thoughtfulness from organisations who claim to specialize in disability holidays would be nice instead of conforming to simple stereotypes.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,002 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi, as I said earlier, I help run a holiday group for disabled people.
    WE have so many providers, who offer ground floor rooms with easy access, profiling beds, hoists, shower chairs and wet rooms.

    There are charities who offer holiday grants and there are subsidised places too.

  • WhileIBreathIHopeWhileIBreathIHope Posts: 216 Member
    Hi, as I said earlier, I help run a holiday group for disabled people.
    WE have so many providers, who offer ground floor rooms with easy access, profiling beds, hoists, shower chairs and wet rooms.

    There are charities who offer holiday grants and there are subsidised places too.

    I'm sure your efforts are appreciated and we'll done for doing these groups.

    I've finally got round to complaining to the local government ombudsman about the Abusive nature of direct payments removal that others and myself have suffered after law society and a solicitor advised me this was only way. 

    Never know may be able to afford a holiday if compensation - some how doubt it will happen. 

  • TopkittenTopkitten Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
    Hi, as I said earlier, I help run a holiday group for disabled people.
    WE have so many providers, who offer ground floor rooms with easy access, profiling beds, hoists, shower chairs and wet rooms.

    There are charities who offer holiday grants and there are subsidised places too.


    Very laudable and worthwhile and if only it was easier for us to get from place to place life would be so much better. Unfortunately travel is more aimed at healthy people and is run by and administered by healthy people who simply do not understand the additional needs of the disabled. Travel becomes a matter of looking pathetic and hoping someone nearby will come to the rescue.

    Well done you though!

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Philippa1961Philippa1961 Member Posts: 19 Courageous
    I believe disabled and ill people have just as much right to have holidays as healthy people.
    When I was young I saw first hand how cruel some people can be towards someone who is ill and on holiday.  My mum was asthmatic all of her life, became diabetic in her 50's and had rhematoid arthritis so it was quite normal for my mum to struggle with walking.  People could be quite rude towards her and it was a natural instinct to defend my mum but it says more about the people who are in the wrong.
    I find myself apologising for being slow going up and down stairs but fortunately people are fine and sometimes people will offer to help if they see me struggling. 
    We go on Parkdean holidays as we can take our dogs with us and the caravan parks are disable friendly.  Our eldest dog was in kennels for most of her first four years but we don't know why people kept taking her back as she has a fantastic temperament.  We couldn't bear to put her in kennels when we go away.  We've been away for a few days on two different occasions - a wedding then a funeral - and not taken the dogs with us.  On the first occasion our friend stayed over at our home with them and two other friends walked them.  On the second time one of the friends who had walked the dogs before stayed over and the dogs were happy with the arrangement.
    Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.
  • madnessmadness Member Posts: 13 Connected
    Is there a women chat here
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @madness, people are free to chat with whoever they would like to. If you would like to talk about a particular subject then here's a list of topic boards. I hope this helps. :)
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  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,002 Disability Gamechanger
    I believe disabled and ill people have just as much right to have holidays as healthy people.
    When I was young I saw first hand how cruel some people can be towards someone who is ill and on holiday.  My mum was asthmatic all of her life, became diabetic in her 50's and had rhematoid arthritis so it was quite normal for my mum to struggle with walking.  People could be quite rude towards her and it was a natural instinct to defend my mum but it says more about the people who are in the wrong.
    I find myself apologising for being slow going up and down stairs but fortunately people are fine and sometimes people will offer to help if they see me struggling. 
    We go on Parkdean holidays as we can take our dogs with us and the caravan parks are disable friendly.  Our eldest dog was in kennels for most of her first four years but we don't know why people kept taking her back as she has a fantastic temperament.  We couldn't bear to put her in kennels when we go away.  We've been away for a few days on two different occasions - a wedding then a funeral - and not taken the dogs with us.  On the first occasion our friend stayed over at our home with them and two other friends walked them.  On the second time one of the friends who had walked the dogs before stayed over and the dogs were happy with the arrangement.

    Great to read you enjoy holidays x
  • pollyanna1052pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,002 Disability Gamechanger
    Topkitten said:
    Hi, as I said earlier, I help run a holiday group for disabled people.
    WE have so many providers, who offer ground floor rooms with easy access, profiling beds, hoists, shower chairs and wet rooms.

    There are charities who offer holiday grants and there are subsidised places too.


    Very laudable and worthwhile and if only it was easier for us to get from place to place life would be so much better. Unfortunately travel is more aimed at healthy people and is run by and administered by healthy people who simply do not understand the additional needs of the disabled. Travel becomes a matter of looking pathetic and hoping someone nearby will come to the rescue.

    Well done you though!

    TK

    It`s a shame you don't know just how much help is out there. I found it.
  • exdvrexdvr Member Posts: 314 Pioneering
    Topkitten said:
    Hi, as I said earlier, I help run a holiday group for disabled people.
    WE have so many providers, who offer ground floor rooms with easy access, profiling beds, hoists, shower chairs and wet rooms.

    There are charities who offer holiday grants and there are subsidised places too.


    Very laudable and worthwhile and if only it was easier for us to get from place to place life would be so much better. Unfortunately travel is more aimed at healthy people and is run by and administered by healthy people who simply do not understand the additional needs of the disabled. Travel becomes a matter of looking pathetic and hoping someone nearby will come to the rescue.

    Well done you though!

    TK

    It`s a shame you don't know just how much help is out there. I found it.

    Very true @Topkitten.....the main problem I have is with the travelling involved. Public transport of virtually all types is difficult at its very best.  And that's when I'm having one of my better days.

    Best wishes.

    DLTBGYD

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