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There is nothing wrong with me.

cracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
I find myself angry with myself for not being able to be the person before the accidents. I broke spine, tail bone a hip and ribs. Also had cancer and am severely immobile and easily fatigued.

I tell myself these are just temporary and am angry because I cannot go back. But doctors say is nothing be done..I will only worsen with time
You are so wise here. Can you help me

Thanks and special greetings


  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    Don't know about wise but I can certainly relate to feeling angry at not being able to go back to the way I was! 

    Sorry to hear about your accident and having cancer. 
    I'm a cancer survivor too and the radiation has caused damage and illnesses.

    On bad days I remind myself I am lucky to be here thanks to surgery and radiotherapy. 

    I think the best advice I could give is to try and just take one day at a time. 

    I do understand though, it is difficult to accept. 
  • Misscleo
    Misscleo Member Posts: 647 Pioneering
    I too know what it's like to live in the past when I walked the Grand Canyon. 
    Loads if tears shed on my poor cat who is often ringing wet.
    Im in so much pain i cant turn my taps on or off.
    Can't get up stairs without making a load of noise trying to get air in my lungs.
    I spend as much time at hospital as at home. And NO there is NO answer and there is NO light at the end of the tunnel.
    I find my cat who keeps telling me my legs are dying (he can smell they are rotting) yet he gives me undying love. And I have outdoor cats who also give me head bumps."
    Music is a great help cant dance anymore but "chair dancing" is ok.
    There's a few of us in this same boat of no future.
    Music and pets thats my answer

  • yingtong
    yingtong Member Posts: 37 Pioneering
    I have similar problems to you with different causes,I used to look back and get very upset with myself as I was a very active person,but I took a simple saying on board and that is you can’t change the past,but you can certainly change the future.I put all my efforts into improving my future and I am a much happier person and I have improved my life.I wish you all the best for the future because you certainly have one!
  • pollyanna1052
    pollyanna1052 Member Posts: 2,032 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi, I`m another disabled person who longs for a cure but will never get one.

    I`ve been disabled 20 years and did cope better with the fact that things wont get better, until a year or two ago. I feel more angry with myself than I used to.

    But aren't we all wasting a lot of time and mental energy wishing for something that can never be?

    It doesn't help that we have continually prove our case for such as ESA and PIP?

    I`m sorry we haven't been more helpful, but we know how you feel.

    Soon be Christmas!
  • pcoventry
    pcoventry Member Posts: 149 Pioneering
    edited November 2019
    I know how you all feel - Yes it's frustrating especially when the so called DA gets it totally wrong, lies or just misses bits off. 
  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering

    Walked the Grand Canyon?  WOW!!!!  :)

    Yes I know just what you all mean.

    Some days (especially warm sunny days) I do get a bit fed up and hark back to the days when I used to cycle or take long walks. 

    I think @yingtong has the right outlook, making efforts to improve the future. 
    I'm going to try but it certainly takes a big effort! 
  • cracker
    cracker Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Many thanks to everyyone. I am sorry for all the suffering the pain and loss of physical health. I feel less alone now. No one without our experience can understand.

    You are right:  dwelling on what I cannot do is a we are of time and energy.  It just leaves me in despair.
    I will keep your words in mind a d work on a furniture not on an empty past.

    Everyone take it good care.


  • paffuto10
    paffuto10 Member Posts: 388 Pioneering
    You take care too @cracker

    Hope you sleep well  :)
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @cracker, I can understand your frustrations, and the longing for things to go back to how they were.

    How are you doing today?

  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    This reminds me of another thread do you embrace your impairment by @Connie00

    When my son was a baby I cried at night. I hated leaving him in the hospital every night. I was a hormonal post partum mom. So I got a notebook diary six weeks after diagnosis day but it was of not much use until he was born. I recorded my feelings each week in it. I do accept his limitations whilst gently pushing him. Today he tried out tubing for the first time. I did it with him.

    Life is for living, not standing still always. I look to the future. I never really accepted his delays. He is only really delayed in one area of his development, but no I don’t see him as delayed. 


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