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Kya Member Posts: 11 Listener
edited November 2019 in Mental health and wellbeing
I’m struggling today. I’ve had a traumatic meeting with my psychotherapist ( only recently started these sessions) 
I’m feeling extremely sad and alone, and not sure how to process my thoughts right now. 
Does talking to a therapist get any easier?


  • michfinch
    michfinch Member Posts: 173 Pioneering
    So sorry to read your comments. I hope the Sessions help you more in the future.... stick with them, I get a lot of good vibes out of mine :-)
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Kya   Sorry to hear this, I know never easy to have any therapy.

    You need to explain this to your therapist how you are and evaluate any thing.

    I had been in sessions myself many times and do think it is a good thing if this helps you.

    If it is setting off memories, triggers and pain then you need to say this.

    I had and still do believe it is does help you to come to term with anything you have.

    You could if you feel it is upsetting you consider an advocate speak to RETHINK.

    Before any sessions to see how they can help you. They could attend with you any sessions explaining to the therapist the issues and problems doing therapy.

    Another way is to write down after every session how you feel.  Most therapists should be asking you or informing you this.

    Please may I add if this is not happening. Please ask the therapist they have a duty of responsibility.

    I do know they have care, concern what you are experiencing, have training.

    Please can I add one final point if you are uncomfortable with anything like this . It might be worth looking at other options.

    Such as mental health charities who offer their own recovery and therapy programmes.

    Might not be in all areas.  

    Offer a wide range of support, guidance, advice on mental health.

    Including benefits and signposting to relevant support or organisations.

    I would add speak to your GP. I would recommend this because they need to know how you are and coping.

    Please if I can help further please get in touch.

    I am one of the community champions on the forum.

    Pleasure to meet you.

    Please take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • Kya
    Kya Member Posts: 11 Listener
    Thank you for your comments and suggestions, I have taken all that on board. 

    Ive started self harming, it’s the only thing I feel in control of right now, but I’m beginning to harm more regular, and each time it’s a little worse, so maybe I’m losing that control?

    I dont one know how to stop. 

    I suffer from from severe depression and I’m agoraphobic. 

    Im so confused, I feel exhausted, and I cry over silly things. 

    Im not really living, I’m just existing. 

    I wish i could talk to others in similar circumstances to mine. 
    Actually, I’d like to talk to anyone because I have no friends. 

    Sorry if if I sound so down. 
    Is it wrong to do that on this forum?

  • EmmaB
    EmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    Hi @Kya
    I'm a counsellor myself and therapy can often get hard before it gets easier if that makes sense. Exploring difficult stuff is not easy and change can be difficult to achieve particularly if you've felt or thought or behaved a particular way for a long time. Often we feel/think/behave in certain ways that were helpful at some time in the past but are no longer helpful now, but it can be difficult to relinquish those ways of being and trust that doing things a new way will lead to improvement... The key thing in therapy is forming a therapeutic relationship with your counsellor, not feeling judged by them and feeling really listened to. I hope you have that and if so, that eventually you will see positive change. I presume you've gone for counselling as there are things you want to be different so I wish you all the best with reaching your goals.
  • EmmaB
    EmmaB Member Posts: 263 Pioneering
    PS I forgot to say your sessions shouldn't be traumatising in themselves... For example, if you have experienced trauma in the past then good therapy doesn't entail going over old ground so you are retraumatised... it's important to learn effective grounding skills before you do that... 
  • Jean Eveleigh
    Jean Eveleigh Member Posts: 163 Pioneering
    Although not in therapy now I have spent 13 years of my life in therapy and yes I did find certain sessions or certain therapists traumatising - it is hard to build the required relationship with a therapist but if you can it is worth it as even if the session is traumatising they should help you to develop strategies to cope i.e. one of my therapists would call me later in the day to check I was OK if I'd left a session particularly upset.

    If you feel the therapist themselves is the issue you can ask to be transferred to another one and see if you can build a better relationship with them (I have had to do this in the past - and it was more helpful ultimately although very scary at the time).

    As was mentioned by @EmmaB sessions can also make you feel worse before they start to make you feel better as you are having to revisit your traumas but this should be done at a speed you feel safe and comfortable with.

    You should ensure that you are controlling the narrative of the session so you are not forced to confront an issue before you feel safe and ready to do so, that will make a traumatic event less traumatising to recount to the therapist and you better able to work through it with them.

  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Kya   Please can I apologise not getting back to you earlier.

    Sorry to hear this I am aware as a member of our community .I need to explain to you the following.

    The issues with self harming you first need to contact some one who can understand what you are going through.

    I would suggest speak to The Samaritans they will talk you though any issues you are experiencing.

    They are professional people who are supportive.

    Call them on 116 123

    If you feel you might be an immediate danger to yourself. Please call 999 or go to your local hospital.

    Pleas may I add contact the links I have provided to you.

    Please if you need to talk I am here ready to listen any time.

    Please take care.


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,572

    Scope community team

    Hi @Kya, it’s not wrong at all to sound or feel down and you’re always more than welcome to talk about how you’re feeling, to reach out and find people who are going through similar things to yourself.

    It’s so important to know you’re not alone with this and as a community we really want to help and be there for you. Would you like to tell us a bit about yourself?

    I’m really sorry that you’re going through such a tough time at the moment. There are some resources from Mind about how to resist the need to self-harm and some tips about doing that both in the long and short-term. You can find the short-term tips here: and the long-term aids here:

    Lifesigns is a really good resource too and very useful for helping you find new solutions:

    You’re obviously more than welcome to speak to us here, but talking to someone who is qualified to help you is really important too. Did you know that Samaritans don’t only talk to people who are feeling suicidal? It might be worth giving them a call if you’re feeling an urge to self-harm. TheSpiceman provided the number but here it is again - 116 123. You can of course email them too, if that’s easier, on [email protected] and if you prefer to talk via text, you can text SHOUT to 85258 to use Shout’s crisis text line.

    Can I ask what sort of support you’re getting at the moment? Do you have any family nearby or are you engaged with CMHT? If you’re not, we’d really like to try and find you some additional support. If that’s of interest to you, please send us an email at [email protected]

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  • shadow66
    shadow66 Member Posts: 24 Courageous
    Hi @Kya
    I'm a new member here also and can relate to much of what you have said about feeling depressed and alone. 

    Please share with your psychotherapist how bad recalling these memories is making you feel. They should be working with you on techniques to help mitigate the distress to enable you to cope and be safe outside of the therapy space.

    Please reach out to someone when you are feeling bad, you don't need to go through this alone.

    Kind thoughts


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