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Help please

Kimeva24
Kimeva24 Member Posts: 16 Connected
My partner lately has been having some pretty scary mood swings, he can go from being loving and supportive to combative and violent in a blink of an eye and its really scaring me I have been in physically abusive relationships on the past so when he flips out I usually go into the other room A: to give him time to cool down and B: because I'm afraid he might one day punch me instead of the door. I know that he would never intentionally hurt me bit it still scares me. I try my best not to set him off but I never know WHAT will set him off. It can be anything from the dishes not being done or him thinking I'm ignoring him.
For example he's been raging at me for weeks to sort my side of the bedroom out,so today I figured I would get that done,when he asked what I was doing he said "oh just do it when your ready". My head is literally spinning and I'm walking on eggshells because of his Jekyll and Hyde mood swings. I don't know what to do,if I keep quiet he accuses me of shutting him out.
My mind and nerves can take much more of this bit I love him so very much and can't give up on him,like everyone else in his life has. :cry::cry::cry:

Comments

  • Tammyjane33
    Tammyjane33 Member Posts: 683 Pioneering
    @Kimeva24 Firstly welcome to scopes online community. 
    I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you and it appears that your partner is having a tough time from what you stated above. Can I ask does your partner suffer with any physical or mental health issues that may be causing the  mood swings? 
  • Kimeva24
    Kimeva24 Member Posts: 16 Connected
    @Tammyjane33
    He has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but from my own experiences and education in psychology I really believe that he has Bipolar and Borderline Personality disorder, been the of which I was diagnosed with years ago. He has all the clinical symptoms of both. Plus he has had some major trauma's i n the past that he still gets flashbacks from.
  • Tammyjane33
    Tammyjane33 Member Posts: 683 Pioneering
    @Kimeva24 I see. You appear to be a very smart lady.. Good on you for supporting  him. Is he willing to see a doctor? It's not fair on either of you, especially when you are on edge too. 
  • Kimeva24
    Kimeva24 Member Posts: 16 Connected
    @Tammyjane33
    He is in therapy now but the problem is that he doesn't talk about the important issues, he's content letting the therapist have him talk about the easier stuff,the past three sessions he told me that they talked about his anxiety. When I know for a fact that he has wayyy bigger issues than that, its also possible that he may have some for of DID ,he often does things that he doesn't remember later and loses hours. He's even done things to me that he swears he doesn't remember, and I know he's not lying because he told me this has happened in the past. He also has some very disturbing ,for lack of better word,kinks,. I caught him looking up rape porn and explained to him that it concerned me,being a rape survivor,and he said that he liked rough sex and I had to explain to him that there is a big difference between rough sex and rape.He also said that he fantasized about raping me  (he knows my past) and said that he was concerned for me because he would never want to hurt me. I don't know what to do or where to go to get advice for this.I don't want him to do something he will regret later but with the time losses ,I'm at a loss myself.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,167

    Scope community team

    Hi @Kimeva24. I'm really sorry to read about what you're going through. It must be so difficult to be living on edge. Given what you have said, I think it's really important you start taking steps to prioritise your safety. Please remember, if you feel like you might be in any danger at all, to call 999 immediately.

    In the meantime, it might be worth getting in touch with Women's Aid, Victim's SupportSafelives or Refuge to see if they can advise you. I'm also going to email you to see if we can find you some support more local to you.

    Do you have any family or friends close by who might be able to support you?
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