Parents, carers and disabled parents
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Anything I could do to help?

juejue59juejue59 Member Posts: 4 Connected
I am a carer for my 55 year old sister who has learning difficulties,  I am 60 I live next door to her so  I am always available , she lives with my ageing mum and dad who are finding it difficult to cope with her constant repetitive habits and her temperamental outbursts , I try and take her out from under there feet when possible ,but she has severe arthritis and can’t go very far , they are finding it very stressful to cope with her as they are both unwell and in there eighties, I have suggested it’s time for her to find  accommodation on her own , she could manage with my help but my mum won’t hear of it ,so for now I just try and diffuse the very tense atmosphere that my sister creates ,just wondering if there is anything else I could to to make life easier , being the way my sister is she doesn’t like change she is very repetitive and quite argumentative 

Replies

  • poppy123456poppy123456 Member Posts: 22,218 Disability Gamechanger
    HI and welcome,

    Has your sister ever had a needs assessment from her local council? If she hasn't then my advice is to speak to her to ask if she's willing to have one of those. An occupational therapist will come to her home and assess her needs to see if there's any help and support available for her. If she agrees then you will be able to refer her yourself. See link.


    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • juejue59juejue59 Member Posts: 4 Connected
    Thankyou for your reply poppy , yes she has everything at home she needs , she gets pip and a small pension , it’s just the fact that she creates a very explosive atmosphere at home , I no she can’t help it because that’s her condition but it drives my mum insane some days they are forever argueing 
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @juejue59. How are things at the moment?
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    Scope

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  • juejue59juejue59 Member Posts: 4 Connected
    Hello chloe , things are bearable thankyou , my sister seems to be getting worse , she always talks to herself , but recently she is constant,talking non stop even when she is on her own and she goes over things several times ,even if it turning of a light , she will keep saying ,offoffoffoof , as if trying to reassure herself that she has actually turned the light off or reassuring us that she has turned the light off I’m not sure , but she is very loud and repetitive, she doesn’t seem to listen to anyone , once something is set in her mind ,there is no getting away from it she will go on and on ,driving us to despair
  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 3,730 Disability Gamechanger
    As well as learning difficulties is it possible she has OCD? If so there are some very effective medication for that, a chat with the GP maybe?
    my advice is given freely and is correct to the best of my knowledge.
  • juejue59juejue59 Member Posts: 4 Connected
    It is something I have thought about,I think perhaps the ocd comes with her condition, but it is very difficult to get her to co operate and chat with the doctor , the doctor won’t talk about her unless she is present,but something needs to be done for my parents sanity , because she lives with them, my mum is quite controling with her , 
    she does have a boyfriend and she is allowed to see him once a week ,but has to be home at 8 pm , we try and dress her nicely , but she always goes back to the same old clothes , , we’re lucky to get her to shower once a week ,and that’s is after lots of harsh words and arguments, I’ve tried the soft approach and tried to coax her to do things  But she just creates a fuss , she has crutches to walk with to steady herself she has arthritis but uses them for each step she takes she doesn’t need 2 most of the time but always uses them , I wish I could look inside her mind just for a short time and see what she sees 
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @juejue59, I imagine this is strange if it is something she has started doing. Are doctors aware? 

    Repeating phases over and over can be due to echolalia which can be part of a learning disability and continue in adulthood. Here is an article which might help. 

    We are not medical professionals so cannot offer medical advice, but I hope this can offer some understanding.
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    Scope

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