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Talking about your sexuality

dsayer007dsayer007 Member Posts: 12 Listener
edited January 2020 in Dating and relationships
Not sure who to talk to about this I find it hard . Any advice

Replies

  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,895 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @dsayer007 - You are most welcome to talk about your sexuality here in the community. However, if it would be easier to get some outside help, there's a charity that I'm sure will also welcome you. Here's a link: https://lgbt.foundation/
    Depending where you live, there's a similar one in Scotland. See: https://www.lgbthealth.org.uk/
    Hope this helps :)



  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Community Team Posts: 7,934 Scope community team
    I'm sorry you're finding it difficult to talk about sexuality @dsayer007
    I've found a few resources which might be of help to you but you're always welcome to talk about your thoughts and feelings with us on the community.

    Supportline might be of use to you. They offer confidential emotional support, including for those wishing to talk about sexuality. https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/sexuality/

    There is also a good article about understanding your sexuality on ReachOut which I've quoted some of below.

    Understanding sexuality

    Everyone’s sexuality is different, and it’s not necessarily as simple as being ‘gay’ or ‘straight’. Some people are attracted to only one sex, and others are attracted to a diversity of people regardless of sex or gender, with a lot of different preferences in-between.

    How do I work out who I am and what it means?

    When you have that first moment of questioning your sexuality, you may wonder what it means and what you should do about it.

    First up, you don’t have to do anything straight away. Take whatever time you need to work out what these feelings mean for you, your identity and your future. There’s no time limit, so hit pause and give yourself a break.

    You could take some time to look at other people’s experiences of discovering their sexuality. QLives has a great series of videos, and celebs like Troye Sivan have also shared videos on YouTube.

    It might help to read up on sexuality – it’s a broad spectrum of feelings and experiences, and is definitely not as black and white as some people might think.

    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
  • dsayer007dsayer007 Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Thankyou for this its a hard subject.
    Ive had a past bad experience which had shaken up my life
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,662 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry to hear this @dsayer007, bad experiences can really impact us. You are very welcome here and I hope it can be a space for you to share your thoughts.
    Community Partner
    Scope

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  • dsayer007dsayer007 Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Where in north Wales can people get help and advice. Maybe 1 to 1
  • Richard_ScopeRichard_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,579 Scope community team
    There is a project in Wales that might be able to help. It's called Project Jiwsi
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer - Cerebral Palsy

    Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
  • dsayer007dsayer007 Member Posts: 12 Listener
  • chiariedschiarieds Community champion Posts: 6,895 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @dsayer007 - There are some links here that may be helpful. Depending on your age, Viva offers one to one meetings anywhere in North Wales. See: https://www.dailypost.co.uk/whats-on/lgbtq-guide-north-wales-gay-14387862

  • Shannong4698Shannong4698 Member Posts: 5 Listener

    I am currently creating a campaign which fights for diverse representation and empowerment in sex for disabled people. If you are disabled, it would be great if you could take a minute or two to fill out this survey. It will really help my campaign, and don't worry - the results are anonymous!

    For those who do not have a disability, it would also really help me if you could share this link, or send it to a friend who might fill it in.

    https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/SKGGGBW?fbclid=IwAR0nje2xZmZyUQOzr4sP_7OIuMpH4tjjz3d3Y1s1cFGWjvOcqF9qSDTIWck 

    Thanks!

  • EmmaJaneEmmaJane Member Posts: 32 Courageous
    @Shannong4698 I've just completed your very interesting survey, thank you!
  • Shannong4698Shannong4698 Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Thank you @EmmaJane it's great to see what you think! 

  • EmmaJaneEmmaJane Member Posts: 32 Courageous
    You're welcome of course! I couldn't miss the opportunity as this subject isn't much discussed.
  • TopkittenTopkitten Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
    I have seen and known a number of young people who find this a hard subject to talk about but it isn't limited to just the young. At age 50+ and with 2 broken marriages, 3 children and 2 grandchildren I also found this subject hard to deal with. It is almost always down to the embarrassment caused by having to "own up" to problems both real and imagined but try to remember that most healthy people have exactly the same difficulties with this subject. At least things are better now than they were when I was young and the internet hadn't even been thought of, so I feel fortunate to have only experienced disability and associated troubles later in life.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • dsayer007dsayer007 Member Posts: 12 Listener
  • Tommyb92Tommyb92 Community champion Posts: 74 Courageous
    @dsayer007 hi there, I just wanted to reach out to you, I came out to my family a number of years ago now. Along side me answering things on the forum I run a closed group on Facebook which discusses these issues please feel free to drop me a message and I can see if I can shed some light on your questions  alternatively there is also Switchboard many thanks Tom 

    <code><a href="https://twitter.com/lgbtdisability" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lgbtdisability</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/tombyford" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/tombyford</a> <br><a href="https://www.facebook.com/tombyford" rel="nofollow">https://www.facebook.com/tombyford</a><br>http://www.twitter.com/lgbtdisability

  • dsayer007dsayer007 Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Thankyou @Tommyb92 are u on facebook mess3nger
  • fieryjackfieryjack Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi. I have suffered from depression (under control for a few years now thankfully), type 1 diabetes (under control) and incontinence. The latter is the one that has always complicated things. I'm 44 and had sex once when I was 19 and my undies made by Tena are the main thing getting in the way of a relationship. It's been so long I now know I'll never have personal relations again. Sad, but something to come to terms with...
  • Tommyb92Tommyb92 Community champion Posts: 74 Courageous
    I’m sorry to hear this but glad you’re getting yourself better- sometimes we just need to look after ourselves first!

    <code><a href="https://twitter.com/lgbtdisability" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lgbtdisability</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/tombyford" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/tombyford</a> <br><a href="https://www.facebook.com/tombyford" rel="nofollow">https://www.facebook.com/tombyford</a><br>http://www.twitter.com/lgbtdisability

  • Tommyb92Tommyb92 Community champion Posts: 74 Courageous
    @dsayer007 and @fieryjack may I suggest you both contact Switchboard? http://www.switchboard.org.uk/ They may also be able to help with any of your questions?

    <code><a href="https://twitter.com/lgbtdisability" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lgbtdisability</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/tombyford" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/tombyford</a> <br><a href="https://www.facebook.com/tombyford" rel="nofollow">https://www.facebook.com/tombyford</a><br>http://www.twitter.com/lgbtdisability

  • fieryjackfieryjack Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Tommyb92 said:
    @dsayer007 and @fieryjack may I suggest you both contact Switchboard? http://www.switchboard.org.uk/ They may also be able to help with any of your questions?
    Thanks but I'm not gay, and I don't expect to ever get any help. Was just adding my tuppence to the conversation
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing Team, Community Team Posts: 7,934 Scope community team
    Hi @fieryjack. Have you tried Outsiders before?
    They describe themselves as 'a social, peer support and dating club, run by and for socially and physically disabled people.'
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope

    If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
  • MaxBMaxB Member Posts: 30 Courageous
    Hi I'm a lesbian, but didn't come out until I was 40...kept it hidden for years. I understand it is hard, but saying that I think its much much more accepted these days as compared to when I was younger. When I did finally come out, my life was much better, I only wish I had the courage to do this when I was younger.
  • EmmaJaneEmmaJane Member Posts: 32 Courageous
    edited January 2020
    I agree with @MaxB - I came out quite a long time ago at quite a young age, and attitudes are definitely much better now than at that time. Relationships were much harder then too, probably because teenagers are mostly interested in physical attractiveness whereas the people I am meeting now have a rather more mature outlook.
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