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Girls and ASD

my Daughter was diagnosed with ASD in November..she is 4 ..due to start reception in sept 2020. We have he EHCP in place... but is it me or Is the information regarding girls and autism limited.. most books or examples I read are based on boys...so anyone with a girl with ASD got any advice for this parent...
Replies
you would of thought in your circumstances your daughter would of been diagnosed much earlier...
I totally do agree that most info does refare to boys.
I'm glad your daughter is getting the necessary support she needs and is doing well at school .. just show with the right support all children can succeed.
I also have an Autistic child, she was diagnosed when she was 5 with ADHD and continued with assessments, observations etc and it was another two years before they carried out an ADOS assessment and she was diagnosed with ASD. If I can help or offer support any time or you just fancy a rant please feel free to message me.
We have been lucky with my daughter dignoses.. we knew it was on the cards... but for some reason the realisation of a dignoses ..still seems to knock you... maybe it's the thought of the unknown..
But I like you have read so many books but still yet to find a particular book that has an all round perspective of how this will affect her... e.g.. will she decline in behaviours.. or thrive with the right support. I suppose all children are different.. so it's just a waiting game.
I 100% agree with this! I dont actually have a girl with asd, but a boy. Im sure this applies to both sexes equally though. Try not to look at your daughter's world through your own eyes.
To give 2 examples of this: i used to see my son in the primary school playground (mainstream school) wandering aimlessly alone and feel sad for him.
But there was no need. He was actually perfectly content and happy like that. He didnt have play skills and language skills so being with other children was more stressful than being on his own like that.
You will know when your daughter is not happy through her behaviour. If her behaviour suggests she is calm and happy, dont get caught up in what you might perceive as her 'missing out'
Other people with asd will be your daughter's 'peer group' my son wasnt labelled asd until 13yrs (four YEAR wait in our area back in 2011 when he was diagnosed so you have been lucky in that way)
The diagnosis opens doors for you. In my son's case, he was able to access a wonderful support for children up to 18yrs. When my husband first took him there, there were teenagers who seemed (to my man) to be 'more severe' than our son.
Our son gelled with these teenagers from the start. In fact his actual words were "mum, they are all like me" That still brings a tear to my eye!
Through that support, he had a full social life as a teenager. Now, as a young adult he has just one friend. But he is completely happy about that. In fact, i would say he is happier now than at any point in his life before as all his activities are done with other learning disabled people. That is the group of people he fits in with.
Asd awareness in girls is probably at a similar stage of understanding to what it was in boys 20 yrs ago. Girls often show more subtle signs so it wasnt the first thing to spring to mind as a diagnosis until more recently.
I hope schools (mainstream ones) are improving. When my son was at school, it was a battle. I have to be honest! Schools tend to be unrealistically positive, i found. Useless as supports for benefit claims!
We had endless reports about our wonderful son who was 'keeping up with his peers' what a joke!!!
Just an excuse to remove support from him. I battled all through primary to get a cognitive report done as they kept up with their persistance that he was 'very bright'
Eventually got a clinical psychologist to assess his IQ which turned out to be 85. That is not terrible, but it certainly isnt 'very bright' (average iq is 100 and very bright would really be 115 or above)
They also identified a few other learning problems in their assessments such as being very slow and passive.
Anyway, i digress (not for the first time!)
Hopefully schools have improved if she is in mainstream. As i said, my son is SOOO much happier out of the school system just doing simple things that dont stress him out.
Try not to have expectations as to what you want your daughter to be. Support her to be her own person and be very proud of her. Never compare her to typically developing children. She will develop in her own way in her own time so try to access all the support you can for her but give her that space to develop. Pushing her down a route will cause you all incredible stress and reflect in her behaviour.
You are on your own unique journey. You will definitely get support from sharing experiences with parents of asd children so dont feel alone in your journey but your daughter will be happiest following her own path. Try to support her in that and not to think too far ahead.
It can be quite tricky to find books for girls on the spectrum, this is because the condition was one believed to only affect boys and it presents itself very differently in boys than It does girls.
I myself have autism
I would also like to offer the insight that you don't need to worry about being a ' different ' kind of parent for your daughter
This is the book I found to be life changing for me
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Aspergirls-Empowering-Females-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1849058261
It is a very positive read as it highlights strengths! and from a parent standpoint I think you'l find it very useful.
All the best!