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Masturbating wrongly(?) Please help

monicaraymonicaray Member Posts: 2 Listener
I have been inaccurately masturbating since I was young. I am a girl, and have used vibrators on my clit for the past 6-7 years without any/barely any form of sexual arousal. As I was young, I didn’t understand why orgasming meant, so alot of the times urine came out (typically in less than a minute) and I thought this was orgasm. Now that I’m 19 and beginning to properly masturbate, my clit gets so sensitive really easily and at times pee also comes out when I begin vaginal stimulation. What should I do to fix my clit?

I really want to start afresh and undo the mistakes I made when I was younger :( This also makes me fear having sex with others as I’m afraid of urinating when someone goes down on me, so i don’t let them do it. If anybody knows something please help!!

Replies

  • soconfusedsoconfused Member Posts: 102 Courageous
    I had a GF who has this problem. I didn't know until I went down on her and she sprayed me. From then on in we just had great sex and accepted we would have a puddle and need regular drinks.  So don't let it worry you :) 
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @monicaray and a very warm welcome to the community. :)

    Here is some information from the NHS about what can cause orgasm problems in women
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  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,924

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    Hello @monicaray
    There is no right or wrong way to masturbate. It's about what you enjoy and what works for you, so it's unlikely you've done anything wrong or made a mistake.

    The NHS has this article on masturbation which you may find useful - Masturbation FAQs (NHS)

    But if you're worried, you can ask your GP to refer you to a sex therapist. The NHS has some information about how to find one and what they do - What does a sex therapist do? (NHS)

    I'm also going to tag our sex and relationships expert @PSHEexpert to see if they have any other advice for you. 
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  • PSHEexpertPSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    Hi hi and good morning!  Sorry for slightly delayed response - at a conference yesterday, with students this morning so I'm just catching up on emails.

    @monicaray - as @Adrian_Scope says, there is no wrong or right way to masturbate provided you're somewhere private and safe and you're not doing anything that is causing you harm or hurting.  Using vibrators on your clitoris is a pretty typical way to masturbate really, but that's because for most people, clitorises (is that a word?!) are very sensitive so that's where to aim the stimulation, if you see what I mean.  HOWEVER, if that's not where it feels good for you,  then it's totally cool to explore and find where the sensation is more pleasurable.  It's also quite normal to find direct stimulation of the clitoris a bit overwhelming and uncomfortable - perhaps using the vibrator around, rather than on, your clitoris would be more comfortable (ie indirect pressure).  And finally - it is possible for things to get a bit overstimulated and 'numb' if you're really going for it - all our bodies respond differently and there's no wrong or right way to masturbate or orgasm.   It is not uncommon to have a urethral orgasm - your urethra is where you pee from, and because of where the internal bits of your clitoris are, it might be that the exciting bits are less external and more internal - hence it gets tied up with a release of fluid which might be pee - or it might not be!  Some women do release a little flooosh (sometimes not so little!) of fluids from their Skenes glands which are also 'down there'.  Anyway none of this really matters - what is important is that you know that however you choose to masturbate is absolutely fine as long as it feels good to you and it isn't doing any harm.  

    With regards someone going down on you and your fear of urinating, you could prepare a bit before sex, for example by nipping for a pee first so your bladder is empty before you get started.  That might make you feel a bit more relaxed about it maybe?

    Finally there are no mistakes when it comes to your body, how you touch your body, and how you explore and learn.  Many people go through changes in what they do or don't like; as we get older our bodies can change, sensations can change, if you have periods there's times (well, I think anyway) that you'll be really hypersensitive and others where things are just fine and dandy - try not to worry too much, honestly!

    - Gill 
  • PSHEexpertPSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    Oh wow it put stars wherever I typed c l i t o r i s!  Wherever the stars are, I was saying "clit"!!
    - Gill 
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 7,924

    Scope community team

    Oh wow it put stars wherever I typed c l i t o r i s!  Wherever the stars are, I was saying "clit"!!
    Looks like our slightly overzealous keyword blocker was hard at work here. That should be fixed now.
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  • PSHEexpertPSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    Free the clit!  ;)
    - Gill 
  • monicaraymonicaray Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Thank you @PSHEexpert :) Really appreciate the help!!!

    I have one more question, how do i prevent pure urine from coming out!! I have incidents where I touch myself for less than a minute and what feels like an orgasm begins, but the liquid that comes out is purely urine (or at least smells like it), what do I do?? I cum too fast and what cums out is urine.... am I doing this wrongly?
  • still_cstill_c Member Posts: 3 Listener
    It sounds similar to a problem that my sister used to have. But in her case, it happened only when she masturbated with her hands only. When she played with toys (she had a similar one) everything was okay. I think it was about the intensity of feelings. Though I do remember her visiting her therapist with the issue.
  • Caz_ScopeCaz_Scope Posts: 548

    Scope community team

    That's an interesting point about the intensity of feeling @still_c. Out of curiosity, do you know what your sister's therapist had to say on that point?

    Just to say as well that it looks like this post hasn't been very active in quite a while, so you might not get many responses, or at least not too many speedy replies, from the original posters on here @still_c

    But thanks for picking up on the conversation and please do feel free to continue with the theme for the benefit of some of our newer members who might also want to contribute to the discussion as well. :)
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