Disabled people
If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.

Does anyone else feel like no one ever believes anything you say

LAmesXOXLAmesXOX Member Posts: 18 Connected
Does anyone else ever feel like what ever you say no one ever believes you that your just viewed as a stupid knowledgeless cripple. I hate having any kind of personal information asked by any kind of stranger I've been working for like five years i was getting quizzed yesterday about a previous job and I could tell he didn't believe anything about me I guinally like going to the gym but I can never talk to anyone about it as again they wouldn't believe me the most stressful question a stranger can ask me is what do you like going in your spare time because they probably won't believe anything I say i had to go to AE for something really quite embarrassing and the doctor at AE didn't believe me she thought I was at AE  for the fun of it i had to attend late because i didnt finish work until late she did not believe me I was asked by another AE waiter why I was there I just said to pick up a prescription i had to lie he joked with his friend and said its my friday night out  I'm just viewed as a lazy stuiped cripple who wastes people's time 

Replies

  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @LAmesXOX   Sorry to hear this.  This is not you but them the ignorance of public, people simply do not recognise or understand .. 

    Does happen to me a lot.

    Born disabled genetic condition, family friends, colleagues, any one really in the past.

    Only friends on here the ones can trust.

    The image the perceived ideas we lack intelligence.

    Useless, burdens are a total misconceptions all the time .

    Have a wealth of stories even been put down, felt intimidated in volunteering for charities.

    Dealing with members of our Community.

    What you need to say is your a proud upstanding person take no nonsense start in my opinion saying the obvious to people.

    I do all the time never like giving some public members a dose of the life I have.

    Self esteem, confidence needs to be a lot of strength and courage.  You could look at Community Health Unit do the courses of Communication, Confidence building dealing with people.

    Had the following always need to prove myself to those in employment.

    If this was me and has happened before, complaining works.

    Plus look at talking to those in the hospital that need to be told or any place that has a complaint procedure .

    In fact so PC so many places asked many times how we are doing any where we have gone.

    Are you happy fears, insecurities of legalities America given us the impetuous to consider suing very much court action.

    I believe another way is to write down any thing you wish to say, using specific precise words.

    Do this in any procedures.  Dealing with support workers, employers. 

    I used them services . Advocates.

    https://www.rethink.org

    Have a mental health condition used RETHINK all the time in difficult situations.

    One other please be strong have the courage to say how you are .

    I do all the time if some one pushes my buttons some shaft of wit comes to mind.

    Like using humour nothing worse using that making people small.

    Every one has a story to tell and if they do not believe you then there the problem not you.

    Find radiators not drains.

    If a stone in your path, do you stand still or walk around or over.

    Success comes in cans can nots.

    Meet so many people on here awesome aspiring inspirational.

    Make life count do opportunities do something you wish to do.

    Work do something else not about pay, money social happiness, life is a show on the stage you are.

    Your in the lime light look at how you can use your disability to heal yourself help others.

    Volunteering one of the best ways.

    I have done that all my life still am now here.

    Make a list of your achievements any bucket list anything you wish to do.

    I retrained as in nutrition, diet and was middle forties, never worked again but proud of my achievements.

    After a life time of addiction life is a journey with suitcases of memories, baggage, hurt and harm by others.

    Heavy it is but as I go through every day now becoming lighter.

    Something to think about.

    Please take care.

    @thespiceman




    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • AdventiumAdventium Member Posts: 31 Connected
    Sadly, I know how this is. 

    I have a pain issue, and a myriad of other issues. Docs agree that testing is vital, but only decided recently due to blood work showing issues. I've been in chronic pain for so long, but have always been told it's things that it's not. 
    I've been told it's bad posture...I've been told it's alcohol, (I've been drunk ONCE in my life. And haven't drunk since...like 15 years ago), and I have been told it's all in my head. 
    Recently I asked them to test specific bloods, and a bunch of issues showed up. Seems like they are taking me seriously now.
    It's not just the doctors though...
    My family have always ignored me, probably because it's all affected me for so long. Always felt like they care very little, or don't believe me.

    So, I understand entirely, but...Talk to people here. I have no doubt people will listen ^^ You're not stupid, or a waste of time. You're strong. It seems like you have to deal with a whole bunch, and for that, you're awesome!
  • OpheliaOphelia Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Hi there yes I know exactly how you feel. I was diagnosed with my bone disease in 1994 and at that time little was known about the disease and I was told I'd most likely be in a wheelchair within 5 years. I was determined to do what I could myself to stop that from happening. I had just started teaching (at 39 and a mother of 5) and was able to 'hide' my condition for quite some time with the support of a few colleagues I'd confided in. Looking back it was disgraceful that I felt I had to hide my disability but it was a period when discrimination was rife and I wanted to achieve promotion (which I did). I managed my constant pain and found strategies to cope on bad days. After 16 years I finally had to take ill health retirement because my condition deteriorated. That was an awful experience. I was treated like a criminal simply because I didn't look ill. It was only when my medical notes were made available that they accepted my situation. I have recently applied for PIP and again I feel like I'm not being believed. I feel like I'm having to beg for money I'm entitled to and its and awful feeling. In a lot of ways as a society we have come a long way with attitudes and support for the disabled but this doesn't appear to have reached the official agencies (not charities or support groups) and people who deal on a daily basis with the disabled. My experience has been lack of empathy, impatience and at times downright disrespect. 
  • LAmesXOXLAmesXOX Member Posts: 18 Connected
    Yeah the issue you get with hidden disabilities and visible people with hidden disabilities are getting welfare cuts at much higher rates and people don't believe them people say stuff like but you look fine. With a visible disability I feel like I've got a 99% chance of getting rejected from  job interviews I never disclose my disability on an application because I simply won't get an interview I can only get 0 hour contract jobs where I have 0% worker rights I work in social care this is an ethical industry but believe me they do discriminate and can be the most politically incorrect people you will ever meet I've worked for the past five years and seen completely inexperienced people can walk straight into a 40 a week contract simply because physically they look the part I'm an agency worker I have been sent to projects and the person shift leading has outright refused to induct me and assign me any jobs i remeber once when the guy grabbed a chair from the office put it in thd hall way told me to sit there and keeo an eye on people i had to do that for 12 hours and almost burst into tears if I speak up about my grievance well I'm on a 0 hour contract so they just won't give me any work. As long as these stereotypes keep circulating things will never change you were a teacher which again is an ethical industry and should have known better then to question you because physically you looked find 
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @LAmesXOX   You mentioned not disclosing disability on any application forms have to be in my opinion.

    Had and met a former work colleagiue who did not and caused more problems not only himself but his colleagues and the company he worked for.

    I do understand your reasons but if your having problems beng discriminated may be need to look at other options work and opportunities.]

    I worked another time long years in Civil Service reasons hated the role. The reasons you mentioned.

    Left did other things.

    Why suffer you mention social care many aspects.

    Mental health, advocates, side kicks, support workers and outreach workers.

    I am going to give you some links have a look.

    These are a charity always requiring staff in mental health and social care.

    https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.

    Other one is Even break supports our community looking at employment.

    https://www.evenbreak.co.uk.

    Future learn.com

    For on line courses and qualifications

    https://www.futurelearn.com

    Hope that helps.

    @thespiceman


    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • LAmesXOXLAmesXOX Member Posts: 18 Connected
    Thanks but a huge issue is I was in a house fire I'm not completely unfortunate there are burns survivors worse then me but my hands got very badly burnt I wear splints on both of my hands but to be really blunt I'm viewed as a cripple the politics around disability has made it allot more difficult for me to prove unfavourable treatment because people with hidden disabilities are the disarable candadets for disabled employees people like me well no one wants to be your friend no one wants to be seen with you no one wants to employ you because physically you look different. I no people with hidden disabilities have other barriers that people with physical disabilities don't have I wasn't having a dig  
  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,680 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm really sorry to hear this @LAmesXOX, your experiences are just as valid. I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing at the moment. :)
    Community Partner
    Scope

    Tell us what you think?
    Complete our feedback form to help us to improve your community.
  • feirfeir Member Posts: 396 Pioneering
    Hi. Luckily i got diagnosed after an MRI but yes before then i was treated like the complete agony i was in was nothing much by my GP and even put down to diabetic arthritis, was given 5% ibriprufen gel for it (it didn't do anything). Also went to A&E eventually as 6 months later i couldn't move the pain was that bad and i just got treated like i shouldn't have even been there and like i was a nuisance.I now have a phobia of hospitals even after my diagnosis and knowing now they wouldn't just brush me off as there's nothing wrong with me.

    As for the general public,i hardly ever go out but most are kind to me when i do and offer to help if i'm struggling.
Sign in or join us to comment.