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Charlie34 Member Posts: 1 Listener
Hi all , our son is nearly 3 and is / has ADHD ( undiagnosed) waiting for a pediatrician appointment. 
He's really struggling with the changes recently and is self harming alot! Punching himself in the face , throwing himself around , throwing things , screaming shouting crying. He doesn't sleep through the night but last night and the last couple of weeks have been really bad! Last night he was screaming and crying , wouldn't let us leave his room from 11pm to 2:30am and was up at 5 ... Can anyone give any advice on how they handle aggression and not sleeping ... Thank you x


  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Charlie34   Pleased to meet you.

    Thank you for joining and sharing.

    Sorry to hear what you are going through.

    Please if may make a suggestion look at this organisation.

    Email [email protected]

    Has when you access website links to support groups, advisors. Information.

    Please if you need anything else or need to ask any questions please contact the community.

    Some one will know.   Your not alone. We are here to help be supportive and offer empathy, compassion.

    Please take care and safe.


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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,589

    Scope community team

    edited April 2020
    Hi @Charlie34.
    I can only imagine how worried you must be. My eldest wasn't aggressive, but she didn't sleep through the night until she was 3 and I remember the constant worry about what effect that was having on her health.

    Have you given our free Navigate service a try? Navigate is a national mentoring service that offers support to parents of disabled children in the early stages of, or following a recent diagnosis. It really might be worth checking them out at Navigate: emotional support for parents. We also have Sleep Right, a service designed to help parents and carers improve the sleep of their disabled children.

    I'm not an expert, but I've previously read that self-harm in younger children is often as a result of them being frustrated and feeling unable to express their emotions. I would really advise you speak to your GP (as tough as that might be at the moment!) about this and if you can, give your health visitor a call as they might have ideas of local support they can put you in touch with. You might also try CAMHs and there's some advice from the NHS about how to speak to your children about their emotions. Of course, if you ever do feel like he's in danger, please contact the emergency services.

    As a pan-disability charity our strength doesn't typically lie in this area, but we would be willing to make a social care referral if you'd be interested in pursuing that. You're welcome to email us at [email protected] if that's something you'd like to talk to us about.
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  • Kerry_Scope
    Kerry_Scope Member Posts: 8 Connected
    Hi @Charlie34
    Pleased to meet you.  I agree with @Adrian_Scope the behaviours you are currently seeing can be linked to frustration and lack of understanding. Self harming can also be linked to sensory issues or underlying pain, is your son verbal? The aggression will also be linked to over tiredness.  
    Can i ask which area you live in? 
  • figspowart
    figspowart Member Posts: 15 Connected
    This sounds very upsetting for everyone. Kerry's point about sensory issues is a great one, our son always loved the sensory room at school and would always settle there. To help him sleep we bought a lava lamp (it would need to placed up high if your son is throwing things) which helped him, as did gentle music. Weighted blankets were also really helpful and he still likes them now. You can also get weighted soft toys, my son had a turtle he used to sit with on his lap when he was heightened.
    I hope things improve and everyone gets some sleep soon!
  • Kerry_Scope
    Kerry_Scope Member Posts: 8 Connected
    Hi @Charlie34,
    I agree with @figspowart regarding the sensory ideas suggested. Depending on your son's individual sensory needs, he may love a calming lava lamp or weighted blanket/soft toy. For weighted products, they can work really well for some children and not so well for others. 
    Within the sleep service if parents ask about weighted products we always advise them to access a reputable company that make the products to your child's weight as safety is paramount. 


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