Son doesn’t go out — Scope | Disability forum
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Son doesn’t go out

suzannem Member Posts: 5 Listener
Hello everyone I joined this site because I typed in my 17 year old doesn’t go out . I read some posts and realised I’m not on my own . I’m a single parent my son is 17 he left school before he should of due to anxiety and now he never comes out of his bedroom . I sit here and cry because of it but it doesn’t bother my son I’m getting help with him from cahms but due to covid  it’s stopped for now . Any suggestions ? I have 4 children the others are older I think my son has aspergers as it runs in the family . 


  • Everton270475
    Everton270475 Member Posts: 19 Listener
    I have Cerebal palsy I’m 45 live with with my folks.

    I don’t like going out, spend life morealess to my self, In many ways I’m still very child like, even down to the type of of TV I watch, I have done a online test myself for Asperger and Autism, both say I’m borderline.

    sorry for being no help
  • suzannem
    suzannem Member Posts: 5 Listener
    aww Thank you for replying though
  • Everton270475
    Everton270475 Member Posts: 19 Listener
    If i do out in my wheelchair, it has to be the same route, and morealess the same time.

    its a tricky one for you
  • Ails
    Ails Member Posts: 2,256 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @suzannem and welcome to the Community.  It's nice to meet you and thank you for sharing with us.  I'm really sorry to hear about everything you are going through with your son.  I can only imagine that this must be extremely upsetting for you and even more so just now in lock-down when CAHMS is not available.  I'm glad you have found us as there are many parents of children on the forum who have various disabilities/health conditions including Autism and all the parents help each other so you may find reading some of the discussions on here with regards to Autism helpful.  I will also give you the link to Navigate within Scope who help parents who are struggling with their children's condition or suspect that their child may have a condition, if you would like to have a look -

    It may also be worthwhile speaking to your son's GP to see if he can offer any support or advice just now also.  

    I suppose being a teenager isn't an easy time for anyone and often they may want their own space, but I can appreciate how worrying this would be if your son doesn't want to leave his room and how badly you want to help him.  I would encourage you to give Navigate a call to see what they can suggest and of course, you can chat to us anytime, particularly other parents, about your worries and how you are feeling.  You don't have to go through this alone as we are all here to support you.  If you have any questions or need anything at all then you only just have to ask.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you are both getting on.  Wishing you all the best.  :smile:
    Winner of the Scope New Volunteer Award 2019.   :)
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,266 Disability Gamechanger
    edited May 2020
    Hi @suzannem - Welcome to this friendly & supportive community from me too. I understand a little of where you're coming from, as my son was like this in his late teens, staying in his bedroom. He was evaluated by a neuropsychologist (one of the best Drs he ever saw, he said, as he said he understood him). Whilst he wasn't given a diagnosis, this Dr said he was 'next door to Aspergers.' This was on a scale of this is 'normal', & here is Aspergers.
    As you say, your son is OK, but this concerns you. It certainly doesn't help that he's now not getting help from CAHMS.
    You're not on your own, as we will all do what we can to be of support to you, if we may. You've said you've read some posts here; I hope they have been useful. In case you haven't seen it, I'd like to send a link to a recent one too about an 18 year old with autism. Louise_Scope offered some great insight. See:
    I hope this, together with Everton270475 's thoughts, & the advice to contact Scope's Navigate people (whom I've heard very good things about from other parents) may prove helpful. As Ails says, please let us all know how you're both getting on, thank you. :)

  • suzannem
    suzannem Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Thanks everyone. I have been to my doctors about my son she referred him to cahms . It just makes you feel better knowing I’m not alone in this situation . Sometimes you don’t see the bigger picture and think you’re the only one going through this . I really appreciate your comments 
  • dolfrog
    dolfrog Member Posts: 441 Pioneering
    Hi @Suzannem
    Just to add a correction Aspergers ceased b to be clinicial condition back in 2013, Those who were considered to have Aspergers are classified as having High Functioning Autism.
    Autism is multitude of possible combinations of individual clinical issues which combine to cause what is described as Autism.

    One of the individual clinical issues which many who are identified as having autism can have, is Auditory Processing Disorder, which is a listening disability, or the brain having problems processing the sounds that the ears hear, which includes sound based communication such as speech. 

    Those of us who have auditory processing disorder have problems following conversations, and multiple verbal instructions, and can eventually prefer self isolation to avoid not being understood by those around which can include family and peers., so that we can feel safe, and not be stressed an bullied by those who do not understand our communication disability and fail to provide the communication accommodations we need on a life long basis. 

    You could have a look at some of my Evernote web pages which describe the issues and have links to thr realted international research.
    "The Four Types of Auditory Processing Disorder" 
    "Gaps in Sound - Auditory Gap Detection and Auditory Perception" 
    "Some International Auditory Processing Disorder Research Papers" 

    and may be the Invisible Disabilities section of my Wikipedia user page which includes a link to my Pubmed Autism research paper collection 

    I hope this helps

  • April2018mom
    April2018mom Posts: 2,868 Connected
    Hello @suzannem! Welcome to the forums. Have you contacted the NAS for some advice or not yet? Take a look at their site, email or call them for help and support. What are his hobbies and interests? I recommend making a short list of hobbies with him. If he loves arts and crafts, you could perhaps use that as a way to help him to meet some new people and learn a new skill too. Good luck to you. I hope that he finds something to do in his spare time.
    You are not alone.  Get him involved in making decisions about his life. 

    And if gardening or cookery is more his cup of tea, you could find a cookery club or look at some of the allotments within your local area as well. If he enjoys hiking or camping, then maybe you could support him to find a camping club if possible. If he prefers to play outdoor sports like tennis or football, join a established club nearby or even sign him up for professional lessons in addition. There also are plenty of recreational fun activities for disabled folk of all ages and abilities, have a quick look online. 


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