If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.
Receiving too many notifications? Adjust your notification settings.
Am I in the wrong
I help look after my 89 year old gran, she has mobility problems, during lock down she wasn't coping at all, she started halcuiating wasn't eating or drinking, after speaking to her gp he said that family members had to go in to help or it would be home care. I did not want home care so between me and my mum we have been getting her shopping, and taking dinners in. While we are aware of the current situation we would sit in her dinning room and speak to her for about 30 mins twice a week, we would have no physical contact and washed hands and all surfaces atc. It has help her alot and she calmed right down and was coping with everything a bit better.
However today while I was in dropping off her dinner my uncle called and gave me abuse threatening he was gonna kick my head in etc and report me. I was pretty shocked and shook up about it and feel physically sick to be honest. This guy hasn't phoned her in the last 10 weeks he barely visits her 1 a month in normal circumstances. Am I completely in the wrong here, was I just to leave her there deteriating with no one to speak to, loosing weight and hearing things day and night.
However today while I was in dropping off her dinner my uncle called and gave me abuse threatening he was gonna kick my head in etc and report me. I was pretty shocked and shook up about it and feel physically sick to be honest. This guy hasn't phoned her in the last 10 weeks he barely visits her 1 a month in normal circumstances. Am I completely in the wrong here, was I just to leave her there deteriating with no one to speak to, loosing weight and hearing things day and night.
Replies
I am sorry to hear this, I know how difficult it can be helping a older person in my family which had issues and having to deal with another family members bad attitude. While there is a lockdown, your uncles have no right to threaten you like that. You are doing the best you can for her in these circumstances.
To be honest with you their behavior is already out of hand, I would recommend contacting the police, otherwise they will feel free to call your home anytime and have control over you.
It's a difficult situation because obviously any contact you have with an elderly person is putting them at more risk of the virus, no matter how careful you are. Maybe your Uncle is genuinely worried about his Mum. But without your help she may have ended up in an even more risky hospital environment. There will always be grey areas at the edge of the lockdown guidelines but I don't think you've done anything wrong here.
Scope
If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
I know my gran better than anyone else and no way would I leave her alone when she was hallucinating and basically giving up hope. Maybe they could have that on there conscious but I certainly couldn't. I shouldn't be surprised by them really. These r the same 2 people who didn't visit there dying brother who had learning disabilities for the 2 weeks he lay dying in the hosp, it was me and my mum who sat and held his hand til the end as my gran couldn't bare to watch him. I also got the blame of taking over then too.
You are doing the right thing in these circumstances, just because there is a lockdown, doesn't mean you just leave vulnerable family alone. Family or not you don't have to explain or justify yourself to them.