Combating loneliness during coronavirus

Chloe_Alumni

Hi @kaiasparrow, that must have been frustrating. What new hobbies have you started?  

Blue69

I'm 51. Live alone. Isolated. No family.
Not from here. 
Need to move to Sheffield, got no income so can't get a mortgage. Really fed up. 

Harriet

I’m a Samaritan and most of the calls that we get are focused on loneliness, the elderly, disabled and prisoners (locked up alone 23.5hrs a day in some instances, regardless of what they’ve done that is inhumane) seeming to be the most lonely right now. Unless the government get a grip on this epidemic they will never cut spending on anxiety and depression. I am currently involved in starting a Community Garden where people with physical and invisible disabilities are able to work on a par with ‘regular’ people with the result that all become ‘regular’. The catalyst for this were the comments of a physically disabled man whose life was so limited in opportunities to get out and just be himself. I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome so was hot on the disabled agenda but it has now become mainstream for us to consider everyone. Yesterday, with social distancing, everyone was just getting on with doing their job, planting seeds, painting etc and apart from the presence of a couple of wheelchairs no one would have known that we weren’t all ‘regular’. The government are building houses, not homes and locally accessible, on foot or wheelchair community hubs are not in their thought processes. We need to shout loudly that nobody should be feel alone. We all have our part to play but so does the government. Our little community is already growing - we want to grow a community from a garden, not the other way round. My hope for the post CV19 pandemic is that we refocus on our priorities and eradicate the previous epidemic of loneliness. I live alone, had people to chat to and connect with but it was still hellish being in lockdown. Any techies out there who know how to construct a virtual community garden until there is somewhere for everyone?

newborn

Harriet that's a great post thanks

LP004

Hi everyone, if anyone is interested in discussing the bible and seeing how the prophecies therein pertain to our day, let me know. I am finding out really interesting stuff, honestly.
Did you know, for example that the times we are going through are prophesied about in the bible?  Look at 1 Timothy chapter 5 verses 1 to 5. 
There is a solution to all the worlds problems. No, humans will not find the solution. God is the only one who will provide it.  Let me know if you want to know more, or go to this site:
www.jw.org

Harriet

I am sorry LP004, I know Jehovahs Witnesses are good at door knocking but online forum nobbling? Faith can be a resource that some use and the role faith plays is a legitimate debate but I dont feel like this is a place for evangelising for any particular faith, and especially JW’s with your rules which include shunning which can make people feel suicidal. It would be good to hear how you are coping in lockdown and how your life has been impacted, which may include your faith but not a web link to a website belonging to a group some regard as a cult due to practices such as shunning and cutting yourselves off from mainstream society (apart from door knocking of course). I am reporting this post because I do not wish anyone to be hoodwinked. I wish you well and hope that you constructively contribute to this thread soon.

debbiedee513

I think the whole world is lonely even when people have family.  My family is my daughter who has lupus crossed with rheumatoid arthritis, so I haven’t seen her since beginning of March, I miss her desperately, video link is just not the same and most of the time she won’t use it because of her depression.  I don’t have many friends to meet up with as they are all married with children and don’t have much spare time, yet I hear all the time that single mature people are lonely, wish I could meet some but never seem to, it could be because I no longer work and am on benefits due to my own illness, people just don’t want to know you. I teamed up with a neighbour who was lonely but sadly he is a sexual predator and put his hand down my bra, needless to say I haven’t been back there. So here I am again lonely for company and a bit wary of meeting new people in person.

leeCal

@debbiedee513 sorry to hear that you’re lonely but I agree that a lot of people are these days. I have four children but they live in distant places and I rarely see them, phone calls aren’t the same. It’s a difficult problem and I’m also sorry to hear about your recent experience, sounds awful. Unfortunately sometimes people see the same situation in very different ways, if you see what I mean. 

JaneCambs

@LouiseH thanks for thinking of me I don’t get online often. I don’t get a lot of me time. It’s normally at silly o’clock if I do. Been indoors now since Feb and feeling rather hemmed in. I hope people are finding support here. It’s nice to have a place to drop into and feel some connection to the world. Spent the last three weeks chasing people regarding my sons EHCplan. 2020 has certainly tested us and made me realise just how little some of us are thought of 

IrishManc

I think that living alone here in the U.K. and being separated from my extended family in my native Republic of Ireland has certainly deepened my own Catholic faith that I was raised with, which I have reconnected with in recent years and in various online ways during this time, including the webcam at my local parish church in Ireland 

Adrian_Scope

debbiedee513 said:

I think the whole world is lonely even when people have family.  My family is my daughter who has lupus crossed with rheumatoid arthritis, so I haven’t seen her since beginning of March, I miss her desperately, video link is just not the same and most of the time she won’t use it because of her depression.  I don’t have many friends to meet up with as they are all married with children and don’t have much spare time, yet I hear all the time that single mature people are lonely, wish I could meet some but never seem to, it could be because I no longer work and am on benefits due to my own illness, people just don’t want to know you. I teamed up with a neighbour who was lonely but sadly he is a sexual predator and put his hand down my bra, needless to say I haven’t been back there. So here I am again lonely for company and a bit wary of meeting new people in person.

Hi @debbiedee513, I'm sorry you've had such hard time finding friendship and your recent experiences were so negative. Can I ask if you've told anybody about your experience with your neighbour and if you've perhaps spoken to the police?

debbiedee513

No Adrian I haven’t told the police as I’m too scared, I called a help line called lifeline, but didn’t help much, suggesting that the experience had triggered past traumas and that it was this that was upsetting me rather than what my neighbour had done.  I’m left believing that it’s my mental health disorder that is obviously the problem.   I feel so alone.
people seem to think that just because you have a mental health disorder that your not intelligent.  

katho31

Hi @debbiedee513, sorry about your experience and current issues, have you chatted to your doc about your meds and also MIND and SCOPE can help lots with liks to mental health websites, ive been amazed at the advice and i will help if i can  and you are intelligent 

debbiedee513

Katho I am English living in N.Ireland and have been for 25 years, it was the worst mistake of my life moving here, the racism I have experienced has been constant, but if I mention this to the police all they say is “then move” that’s why I haven’t reported the sexual assault. There is nothing more I would like than to move away from this country as I am sick of the bigotry and Racism that goes on here, Black people are not the only people who experience racism, I’m white and I receive it,  I can’t move as I am only on benefits, so can’t afford to.  On top of that my daughter now 29 lives here and to her this is her home, so while she is here so will I be because I can’t leave her behind, we only have each other.  I do not tell her what I experience because I don’t like to worry her, she has lupus and rheumatoid arthritis.
it seems every way I turn I can’t move anywhere, and now what’s happened with this neighbour has made me not go out at all.  I don’t know how going to any website can help me with this because when I have searched and searched to find some sort of help out there, there has not been any available to me, I feel suck and alone.  If you can help in anyway then I would be delighted.

leeCal

Hi @debbiedee513 I don’t know if this might be of interest to you at all

https://www.communityni.org/event/funding-community-companions-workshop

It’s about a workshop for companions but it also outlines their organisation in NI which provides volunteer companions to people who are lonely or isolated, it has an email contact too if you read down the page a little.

debbiedee513

Thank you Lee, unfortunately not, I’m not in a good place within myself to set up or join a community group, I don’t go out because I don’t want to be used or abused anymore, I can no longer deceiver if a person is genuine or not, so the easiest thing for me to do is not socialise that way I am safe, but it doesn’t make life worth while.  I’m not being negative, I’ve just had enough 

leeCal

@debbiedee513 I understand what you’re saying. The group provide a companion to you for a short period on a regular basis but if you don’t feel up to that then I completely get it. Best wishes.

debbiedee513

Thank you so much Lee, I really appreciate it, maybe when I’m in a better place, you have been very helpful 

IrishManc

Chloe_Scope said:

Some really interesting points guys! Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that it is such a difficult time at the moment.

I hope the community can help you to chat with others.

While important before the pandemic, before and after my Dad died in Rural Republic of Ireland in 2018 and while I was working up to Sept 2019, during and after lockdown, keeping in touch with my extended family and friends back home in Ireland is even more important than ever, as the U.K. is not on Ireland’s current “green list” of countries for inbound travel, which affects many of us Irish living here - I had been hoping to return sometime in 2020 but at the start of the pandemic, I was told by the Irish DFA that the travel restrictions are expected to remain for the whole of 2020, even for those living alone in the UK and following the U.K. Covid 19 rules 

LP004

@Harriet
I was  going to ignore your comment about Jehovah's Witnesses.  I can't.  You have been misinformed about us.  We do not shun anyone.  However we do have disfellowshipping.  Churches also have this and it is called excommunication,  If someone has done something which is against the Bible's standard of conduct then they are given bible-based advice and allowed to correct their actions in order to come in line with bible standards.  If they refuse, then they will be disfellowshipped.  They can still attend meetings of Jehovah's Witnesses but they are expected to sit quietly and listen.  They can only talk to the Elders of the congregation at that point.  If they change their attitude and their actions then they can be accepted back as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
We do not shun people.  Even if someone left the congregation and never attended the meetings again we could still speak to them and we would obviously  encourage them to join us again in worship of the true God, Jehovah,  Psalms 83 verse 18
As for being a cult, nothing further is from the truth,  We do not follow a man.  We follow the moral standards contained in God's Word , the Bible.  
That's all I will say  on the subject.

If anyone wants to see why I am still happy despite the difficult times we are living under, please contact me by using this
@ then my name LAP004