Combating loneliness during coronavirus

leeCal

@LP004 I think we generally show respect for followers of all religions and of none alike, but I for one appreciate your concern and can see why you might feel a reply is necessary. Peace.

katho31

Hi @leeCal, how did the sale go!! 

leeCal

Well as I say @katho31 it needed delicate negotiations but the clincher was throwing in the tyre pump, ? that threw him completely. I watched him cycle off for quite a while until he fell off then I shot back in the house. No refunds. ?

(I’m joking, it’s a good bike.)

katho31

Oh ha ha ha ha ha!!! you should do stand up  so funny!! the clincher absolute comedy gold, you have hit my funny bone hilarious and fell off of please im crying ere!!! 

IrishManc

debbiedee513 said:

Katho I am English living in N.Ireland and have been for 25 years, it was the worst mistake of my life moving here, the racism I have experienced has been constant, but if I mention this to the police all they say is “then move” that’s why I haven’t reported the sexual assault. There is nothing more I would like than to move away from this country as I am sick of the bigotry and Racism that goes on here, Black people are not the only people who experience racism, I’m white and I receive it,  I can’t move as I am only on benefits, so can’t afford to.  On top of that my daughter now 29 lives here and to her this is her home, so while she is here so will I be because I can’t leave her behind, we only have each other.  I do not tell her what I experience because I don’t like to worry her, she has lupus and rheumatoid arthritis.
it seems every way I turn I can’t move anywhere, and now what’s happened with this neighbour has made me not go out at all.  I don’t know how going to any website can help me with this because when I have searched and searched to find some sort of help out there, there has not been any available to me, I feel suck and alone.  If you can help in anyway then I would be delighted.

As an Irish person (Republic of Ireland) living in Manchester England for (almost) 20 years now, I do empathise - although I’ve grown up in a little Irish village, coming back over the years with all the changes has amazed me, not least when I arrive in Dublin on the ferry from Holyhead and I do realise that visiting a place and coming to live there is a different experience - I would (loosely) plan to live in Ireland in my retirement, but I’ve realised in recent months that plan (might) change somewhat - I have felt at times over the years that living in England is somewhat a mistake, especially since I’m separated from my extended family in Ireland at the moment - the discrimination, racism and abuse that you are enduring is obviously something is totally unacceptable, as in my former life, I had been involved with the gay community until I endured discrimination from within the LGBT Community, at which point I totally withdrew from all contacts with them, having come out as gay in my teens against my family’s wishes (who clearly saw the dangers for me that I could not see at the time and over the years were proven correct) while living for 3 years in Dublin and then this brought me to living in the UK in 2002 - I would (normally) come home to Ireland every 6 months and am hoping to go over again for my 50th birthday in October 2020 

katho31

Sat he having lasagne and garlic bread, my hubbys just said 'he who dares wins' ha ha ha thats for you @leeCal

debbiedee513

https://community.scope.org.uk/profile/IrishManc
That’s very sad, I can feel your longing to be back where you never wanted to leave, I’m sorry and I hope you do finally return a whole you, just as I am trying to become in order to return one day to England.  Southern Ireland is a far nicer place to live than the North. Dublin is from what I see when I visit is very cosmopolitan and a happy place, friendly beyond words, they see a future & possibilities, how it is like to live there I wouldn't know, but far more liberated than the North I think,  which is stuck still in the past, the younger new generation are Changing things here but sadly it will be a long road for them, but change it, they will ? 

davegregson40

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. I agree here that Mind have good help and advice. I also got help from Rethink and the Samaritans. There is the charity Victim Support which helps victims. This isnt just cases where people have been to court etc but anyone who has been a victim and the National Domestic Abuse helpline too 

Harriet

@LP004 I understand your need for rebuttal however this goes to show why this is not the place for religious evangelising. I apologise for using the Amish practice of shunning but disfellowshipping  appears to be one and the same. Excommunication is the withdrawal of the sacraments and is not a practice of most mainstream Christian groups, nothing as far reaching as disfellowshipping. If this is to be a safe space it needs to be a safe space for all and if evangelising takes place, for some, it will fail to be safe for their emotional well-being and mental health.

chiarieds

Hi @Harriet - as a fellow EDSer who has the same mentality as yourself, in that EDS doesn't define me, it's nice to 'meet' you. As far as @LP004 's comments go, perhaps in your work as a Samaritan you have seen an adverse affect with a person(s) because of someone being a Jehovah's Witness, I don't know? However, as mentioned above by @leeCal , this community respects followers of their many & varied religions, or if they have non-belief.

I 'met' @LP004 when they joined; we chatted a little, & they kindly shared a photo of their little Jack Russell terrier. You might wonder why I mention this; does it matter? No, other than trying to make a person welcome, & finding things we may have in common. Does it matter if a person then later once mentions their religious belief? I suggest not. What makes this a great community is that people here try to help each other, sharing about our disabilities, or those of a relative (which is why most of us are here); just being there if needed to advise/help, or simply chat.

We share about disability, which is what Scope is all about, in this 'safe,' non-prejudicial, friendly & supportive online community.

Harriet

Hi Chiarieds,

I understand what you're saying, and talking about faith and belief is one thing, suggesting that someone visit a website that promotes a particular faith is another. Not all faiths accept LGBTQIAK people as they are as having a valid lifestyle and I have seen too many finishing up hating themselves because of a particular groups religious fervour. Rather than stating that this group isn’t allowed and this group is I am minded that it is better to not go down that road. If you state that your belief/faith is something that gives you strength and then in a personal chat explain what that faith is and where you can find out about it is one thing but that something that is tantamount to an advertisement for the JWs which may cause offence to someone from the LGBTQIAK community, or indeed women (some faiths do not treat women equally) and thus make this not a safe space for them is another. Faith and belief as an homogenous grouping is a good topic for discussion, but advertising a particular brand isn’t, as far as I can see, a relevant or acceptable topic for an inclusive disability forum.

It wasn’t in my work as a Samaritan that I really noticed the detrimental effect that a lot of religious groups can have on the LGBTQIAK community it was in general life. One person in particular I had to physically stop from throwing themselves in front of a train because of what had happened to them under the auspices of ‘care’, trying to cure this person of their ‘gayness’. This person in has a disability and could finish up on one of these chats, on a down day seeing religion ‘advertised’ may be the thing that breaks the camels back or simply means that they don't return to the forums/website.

As someone of faith, from a non LGBTQIAK background I am simply speaking out for one group and there may be no one here at the moment who could be hurt by the original post, but there may be tomorrow.............. Also as someone of faith it is very hard not to go down the religious bandwagon path, but as I say, I believe that this isn’t the right place to do it.

chiarieds

Hi @Harriet - I can also appreciate your viewpoint. It's often said that politics & religion are best avoided; not here, but in general conversation.

Perhaps it's me, but I can't see a problem in mentioning your religious belief, &, in the case of the person above, giving a link to a website once......doing so repeatedly may indeed be a different matter.

A comment here could potentially cause LP004 to leave, & they're suffering badly with depression right now.

In just the same vein, any comment, meant with the best will in the world, could cause a person in a vulnerable state to leave the community.

Messages are not always read the way intended. In fact I've just recently been on the receiving end of this; a comment I made to one person made another think I was correcting them, & caused upset, which was certainly not my intent.

Scope welcomes everybody, & it's about what dis-ables anyone, whether it be physical or mental health (or a combination of both), & I often say we share more in common, rather than not.

I have no wish to disagree with you further, but as someone who also has a faith, I try not to judge my fellow man.

Topkitten

Not trying to put a downer on this but always remember that getting out can and will put people at risk from Covid because we are a long way from it being gone yet. According to the WHO it's estimated that 35% of those who have Covid and can infect people are Asymptomatic (apparently healthy). So remember Social Distancing rules.

TK

LaughingLolly

@JaneCambs hospital and big events are often reminders of how lonely we are or how isolated we have become and it can really hurt. I also raised an autistic son single handed for many years. I also have a daughter. Despite being ill and many years running events for musicians and poets I also found a period where I had no one in my life. They say loneliness is shown in the brain to light up the areas where we would normally feel physical pain, so it's a very serious issue! Events such as lockdown can highlight the issue more. I'm married again now after years of being single. My son also has an ECHP and I teach him from home.  If you need any support with that kind of thing or just want to chat please send me a message. It does not have to be for any 'reason' you can just say hi as someone who has been in the same boat and chat away. I'm willing to listen any issues around education, or any other subjecr. 

LaughingLolly

Hello @Blue69 I hear you. Wanna chat?

LaughingLolly

@Ronni Hi, did anyone take up your idea of a games night? Do you play online games on Facebook messenger? I like The Test & Word Blitz it you want to join me?

newborn

This is a thread full of good ideas and goodwill from good people.   Nobody needs to hold back from revealing  any label which they have chosen. On the other hand, it isn't essential.    For example,  if you are discussing something on a gardening  site,  your love of a particular football team is a huge part of your life, and you may keep thinking of the club colours, and keep mentioning it.   Possibly one  or two of the others in the group is put off, by that?

sweet4sweat

I have been naughty and use Vodka as my friend during loneliness. 

Jordan_90

I find it extremely difficult to engage with people and being in lockdown has made things even harder 

Cher_Alumni

@sweet4sweat Oopsie! Make sure you keep an eye on your intake and if you feel its becoming a problem you speak with your GP.

@Jordan_90 I'm sorry lockdown has made it harder for you.  Are you managing to meet up or talk with anyone?