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Dark times: Not a discussion.

What's the point of putting minicom numbers down for deaf people when no one answers.
Many help lines dont even have one.
So what's the point.
I'm just having a moment and well where else to go.
So please ignore.
Last month my mother was in hospital she survived 2 infections and the covid at 77.
I found this place after searching for some to talk to for 2 weeks there was nothing. No one out.
Now she in again but it bad sceptic shock 4 hours till I know if the treatment is working and even then. They nsure the got it quick enough shes at the stages where she cant breath properly and in coherent.
We not allowed to go. Couldn't get there anyway.
I remember we used to move a lot. She would just pack and go to another town. Realy wish right now I could do rhat. But I'm trapped in a place I hate.
I have to wait for my brother to send me a message via messenger. So il wait.
So just having a moment. There no one. If she survives she be in out of hospital. It will a some point. We havent seen each other a year. We text every day 11 and 5.
I came on to text her. I know. It was 5 someone answered an earlier txt wasntssid theyl update me.
I just on here instead.
Dont mind who reads.
Or ignores.
Or even deletes.
Just needed a place not to talk. There are no answers to solve this.
Many help lines dont even have one.
So what's the point.
I'm just having a moment and well where else to go.
So please ignore.
Last month my mother was in hospital she survived 2 infections and the covid at 77.
I found this place after searching for some to talk to for 2 weeks there was nothing. No one out.
Now she in again but it bad sceptic shock 4 hours till I know if the treatment is working and even then. They nsure the got it quick enough shes at the stages where she cant breath properly and in coherent.
We not allowed to go. Couldn't get there anyway.
I remember we used to move a lot. She would just pack and go to another town. Realy wish right now I could do rhat. But I'm trapped in a place I hate.
I have to wait for my brother to send me a message via messenger. So il wait.
So just having a moment. There no one. If she survives she be in out of hospital. It will a some point. We havent seen each other a year. We text every day 11 and 5.
I came on to text her. I know. It was 5 someone answered an earlier txt wasntssid theyl update me.
I just on here instead.
Dont mind who reads.
Or ignores.
Or even deletes.
Just needed a place not to talk. There are no answers to solve this.
Replies
all
You said what you need to say.
Just like me.
Thanks for sharing it was like they were gonna send her home after treating a leg infect but Reid the virus after 11 days in hospital it was positive and she was sent to the virus ward she thought going home. And now she been sick a few days but had nurses doing her legs and physios coming in she told them. They did nothing.
She had nurse and physio yesterday they left here there . She was taking later .
I just called them via text they refuse to tell me anything g via the relay service had to wait till my brother msg me. He did it gonna another 2 hrs wait for dr to go round.
I'm be sat in my wheelchair waiting. Even then I dont know. Wether i want to know.
I'm doing laundry done 3 loads on the fourth how much stuff does and single 49 yr old woman have. Think I might washing everything I own just to distract my self. Most is yrs old.
My brother dont speak to me that much . He talking to everyone else. Usually let's his cousins know before telling me anything.
Things are changing I cant keep up. Theres jus me and her.
Theres nothing else.
For got to take antibiotics yesterday for the pressure on foot I've had for a year.
My heads spinning got no focus trying to transfer had to stop. Sensory breaks asnt working need to lie down. Theres no way of breaking from this. No way to stop everything this. Just have to go through it.
Mum would say that.
Hospital say theyl know more tomorow. If there are no urgent news. We will know tomorrow.
Thanks all.
The meds are working she just have find the strength. She unconscious on mask to help her breathing. A little weak but she hanging in there.
On another note I got a referral number for action on hearing. Who pro independent living support for the deaf. So will see how works out.
Waiting for my housing key get Intouch.
They still on limited service.
If shops and cam go back why cant support services.
Any thanks all. Hope you all ok. Or plodding on.
We all need to start moving forward.
So pushing for the support you need.
I writing on here cause theres no where else. Even the shout txt msg didnt reply.
So just need a place to put things down.
I read @Adrian_Scope post bear in mind post.
I thought it best not to reply. other peoples posts. Just perhaps game ones. For a while. But I'm reading.
Keep well.
She a fighter. I want her to fight. They a point we have to make the decision.
I want her to stay for selfish reasons. If she cant fight anymore. I made it I wrote it. Because I know I wouldn't to decide at the time.
I want to take the decision back.
Feel free to delete posts . I am sorry writing it just nowhere else to say what I need to. It supposed to be good to talk .. I'm talking into space.
I have to wait to see if has the strength to fight. This time and the next.
In two months 2 infections covid. And she copd. Septis an septic shock.
Surprise us mum stick around fight it. They wont let in to be with you sorry I'm sorry. Stay strong love you.
Delete it all
Please don’t feel as if the post I put up earlier was directed at you, or that you can’t express how you’re feeling here. I noticed you said that you want to delete the thread and I just wanted to check you’re certain before I remove it.
I think it’s very clear from some of the replies that lots of members are concerned and care about you. So please keep in touch.
Scope
If you have a few minutes to spare, we'd appreciate your feedback on our online community.
But my wired different different I having a sensory overload I'm overthing. Theres no sensory and wont be for a while.
I lied here said things were sorted now I didnt to worry after she went last month
But no it not I tried. I came here found answers but I dont have is support work havent for long time. Hav nurse Tuesday friday for my for foot only came friday last wk. I tried to get shopping online I tried dont always get all mine somone comes when they can they took some to her I sent some. I'm supposed take care of heR. She down road 11 and we txt not be able to see for a year.
Came on scope found things I have wait till someone to help.
I lied. She glad I was sorted
If survives it keep again and again. If she dont go home no more 11 and 5.
I'm trying to step bank hav a sensory break but cant I dont how. If not somthing to make sense of.
I have go through whatever it is. Go through alone.
Just had write it see the words that all on phone so dont know real its al mags on phone.
11 and 5 is real. I how do I stop overthinking how do have sensory break. I have figure out. I dont on the end when there . More 11 and 5 because it all on hold. And no ones coming but for foot they referred 3 times to social work for support they hold several others have to. I have to wait. I go through it alone figure out how step back . But I cant see beyond 11 and 5.
Life on hold is no life its illogical. But I wont give up the answers somewhere on here.
Im holding on i will know by tonight about mum. I waitinting for a message.
Thank you for being here all.
Waiting for a call from dr about about a scan.
There be choices to make soon.
Social has been recontacted. By my housing officer.
Hope come soon.
Sent a msg to mums church she always does prayers for others not well and lights candles. So thought might do that.maybe.
Now I just wait for this evenings update.
Right now I'm feel like I'm in a tunnel. I know there's light somewhere at the end but the train has stop.
Somehow this more got email from housing officer. After five years I got a social worker and they working together. I might have an other fir new place that's almost finished.
It all gonna take a bit. I just got to get through whatever happens in the present
. But will have support.
Il move at some point.
Trying not to overthink things I just spiral. I feel selfish on me right now. But till I know about mum. Then I have to deal with it totaly.
For now laundry sorting out things theres nothing I cand for her I cant be there. But still text 11 and 5.
I hope things manage to get sorted, please do let us know how you get on.
Scope
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Thanks.
Getting with reading the lounge topics. Re reading alot of especial mustang's posts we had on chats the past month.
Future is still unwritten. Still focusing on now and will with things as they. Come.
The poetry helping to. Globster reintroduce me to that havent written for years.
A lot of those style post
Woodbine . Spice man Lou, frank and all the many other posts. And yours and Adrian's. Not the ones about ones about housing, finances etc.
The things they share personal experience. And the ones like singing in shower or favourite drink. Sometimes more important than people think.
Catch you around here.
Scope
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The other none definite one is in kent a accomidation and support service for deaf people with other disabilities. It by the sea.
I also got letter from I'd to pay pay. But sign i dont have 2021.
I got a reimburse tax insurance on my chair. It's just ironic nothing for years and it all comes whilst this going on.
Laundry that what I'm going to do for now. Take each day then make decision.s
Ii got to wait for msg of what they decide.
Dark times dark nights.
No logic.
We fight.
Dark tunnel
Tunnels end.
Our journey begins.
There is strength. There is hope.
I GONNA FIGHT
Are you going to fight or fly.
Tell me...
The train is moving.
She chose to fly. U towards sky
Sent a last message to say goodbye. It dark
There was two
Now just one.
I fight
The night
I find a way
Take it day by day.
If there is anything we can do to support you then please let us know.
I hope this can be a space for you to process what has happened. Beautiful words.
Scope
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Complete our feedback form to help us to improve your community.
Still up and down some.
I've be popping on just reading for now.
Just to say sometime macho big brothers might seem distant. But they surprise you when you need it most.
Even if it's over messenger. He doing all things that need doing on his own. Then comes on messenger to chat and check in on me.
We still in isolation down here. Well my nieghbours isolating from virus
Me I still just cant get my support sorted or transport got put on hold again because wrong list.I shall explain another time.
Brother organised cremation. Memorial cant ahead till the church opens.
Il be around reading.
And be back on the posts soon. Thanks take care all.
Scope
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Complete our feedback form to help us to improve your community.