Feeling Dead Inside — Scope | Disability forum
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Feeling Dead Inside

MaxineAshley Member Posts: 38 Courageous
Along with my Borderline Personality Disorder, Agoraphobia, and Cauda Equina Syndromes deep depression has truly set in.

I feel so dead inside and have no where to turn to, after my latest appointment with my psychiatrist which was over the phone. 

Where I was told that they have discharged me from their care until my back is better, which it will never be. 

All I want to do is sleep the days away, so that I don’t have to feel alive. 

I’m not sure where to go especially during this pandemic which has affected my agoraphobia, making it even worse. 

I have been let down by so many people and feel so alone. 

No idea how to move forward? 
Writing my first novel, excited to get it finished.


  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,578 Scope online community team
    Hi @MaxineAshley. I'm so sorry. Can I ask what reason they gave for discharging you? It's no wonder you're feeling let down.

    Did you find their input helpful? Is your GP understanding of your situation? I'm wondering if you could speak with them and see if there are any other services they could recommend for you instead. 

    How are you spending your time at the moment, are you making any progress with your novel?
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  • MaxineAshley
    MaxineAshley Member Posts: 38 Courageous
    Hi @Andrew_Scope

    Basically they told me, until my back is better, then they can help me again. 

    But I’ve been told my back will only get worse.

    I’ve only written a few ideas to add to my novel but apart from that, nothing, as my head is in such a dark place and the novel is a fun romance novel, so it’s hard to get my head in the fun place, only dark places which doesn’t help with anything. 
    Writing my first novel, excited to get it finished.
  • katho31
    katho31 Posts: 692 Connected
    hi @MaxineAshley, just want you to know we are thinking of you  :) also please try to have a little rest tonight if you can, i will post tomorrow, take care and keep safe x 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 16,440 Disability Gamechanger
    hI @MaxineAshley Sorry to hear about how you are feeling and I am sure the lockdown isn't helping.

    It probably isn't of any use to you but I recommend a chiropractor for back problems they did more for me than any other medical profession

    It is hard to get yourself out of a rut but try and set yourself a goal everyday even if ii is a small one like sort a cupboard or drawer out and then make them **** tasks as time goes

    You could even set some goals relating to your book

    Take care  


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