How to deal with being stared at? — Scope | Disability forum
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How to deal with being stared at?

Hi there, 
So, I'm 37 years old, and every day people stare at me because of my short stature (1.35). I find that to be a very annoying thing
in my life, and I'm not sure how to deal with it better. by the way, I'm not a "little person", I'm just short. 
Anyone else here struggles with being stared at? I would love to hear some advices... 
Thanks.

Comments

  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 5,055 Disability Gamechanger
    I’m not short but I am overweight and it’s not due to overeating but I’m still unusual enough to attract attention. Since I can’t know what people are thinking and I can’t tell them why I’m overweight I know the only way to deal with it is to be cool about it. I mean the power for me to be upset is within me, I can’t do anything about them. So it may sound simple but I ignore them or sometimes smile and say good morning or lovely day or something. I can’t change them, only me. I hope this helps.

    “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”


    ― Dalai Lama XIV
  • newborn
    newborn Member Posts: 741 Pioneering
    Can't  improve on that last answer.  After all, tbere are so many reasons people  find another person interesting to look at.  Some are unusually  good looking, some have a limb missing, some have remarkable  hair.   
  • katho31
    katho31 Posts: 692 Connected
    hi @SummerBreeze, sorry that people stare and comment, remember good things come in small packages  :) people can be cruel, ignorant or just are very unhappy with their own appearance/lives. ive struggled for years with my weight, since lockdown, and my husband having surgery for cancer on 17th march 2020, ive been using up nervous energy and without noticing i have lost nearly 2 stone, its better for my arthritis so a positive. i had a couple of comments last couple of weeks, nosy neighbours/kids, i have a very thick skin, and can bat away most nasty comments, but one was about my hubbys small height...well, lets just say the air was blue and the kids said sorry, the neighbours no one bothers with due to their flash cars, bragging etc shut up when i said hey, youve broken every single lockdown rule going since this pandemic started and you have the nerve to clap on thursdays for NHS...they didnt know but my hubby is an NHS worker, so they went red and back into their house to continue their sad, unhappy existence. i bet you have more love and care in your kind heart than most people,  :)you are you and they are them, they need to deal with it x
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 3 Listener
    My son is always stared at when we are out and about. He is not aware as he is totally blind. I.am however and most times just think it's not done maliciously just people being curious. I often look at people with a disability as I.might know them from.all the contacts I have made through the years. 
  • neuromum4
    neuromum4 Member Posts: 70 Courageous
    I am 37 and I use wheelchair and sometimes my scooter. I don't go out often when I do people stare at me alot. I just smile at them.
    I wouldn't worry too much, we can't read peoples minds, try to ignore them I know it's hard.
    Some have come up to me and say ' your so young why are you in a wheelchair'
    I think they are just curious.

  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,103

    Scope community team

    This is something that I have experienced most of my life. Interestingly, it seems to be more common now than when I was younger. I used to shout "boo!" at them but now I just smile and try to turn the interaction into a positive.
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead

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  • laura222
    laura222 Member Posts: 84 Pioneering
    edited June 2020
    I like to wear something with bright colours or a fun pattern that makes me feel happy. Or great shoes, or a brightly coloured mobility aid! That way when people are staring at me they’re seeing part of my personality as well as whatever they’re looking at. 

    I also like to assume that people are staring because I’m so awesome! ;) That’s probably why they’re staring at you too.
  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,557 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @SummerBreeze, great to have you with us! It can be so frustrating when people stare, I tend to smile at people now.
    Scope

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