Disabled people
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Scared about growing up with a disability

issyrhissyrh Member Posts: 8 Listener
Hi guys 
I want to share a worry about you. I dream about living a fully independent life where I’m married with kids but I worry that non of this will happen due to my disability. I worry that I might not be able to have kids or get someone to want to spend their life with me. It sometimes frightens me and makes me nervous about the future.


  • steve51steve51 Member Posts: 7,175 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @issyrh

    Good Afternoon it’s great to meet you today.

    I am one of the Community Champion’s here at Scope.

    Sorry to hear about your current concerns about your “long term dreams”

    Being Disabled doesn’t mean that you won’t for fill your “dreams”

    Yes things are different but not “impossible”

    You will be able to meet & great many members on the “Community”

    Please let me know if you need any further help?????!

  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 8,124 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @issyrh - & welcome to the community. I think when you're young you do dream about what will happen in the future, & many hope to perhaps have a family. These concerns are the same for everyone, disabled or not. You may think it will never happen, but one day you'll meet the right person for you.
    I have a genetic disorder, & have had increasing pain since I was a teen. Despite this I've had 3 children, & have 3 grandchildren. I never thought I would have a family after having 3 miscarriages, which can happen to anyone, but the risk was higher with my condition I later found out.
    As Steve says, things are not impossible. Keep on dreaming.
    What does your disability stop you doing? Is there a way to manage this? It's trying to find what works for you; many of us have to adjust, & just go with the problems we face. My best wishes to you. :)
  • issyrhissyrh Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Hi @chiarieds
    thank you for replying. My disability stops me from doing certain things like cooking but I’ve recently come up with a way of doing it differently to make it easier for me. I hope that one day I can cook more meals than I can now. And thank you for sharing your story. 
    Issy 🙂
  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 8,124 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @issyrh - You're very welcome. Great you're adjusting with cooking. All things are possible; it's just finding the where, & how. This just shows you actually can do things, but perhaps differently. These delightful quirks may be just what another finds irresistible. It would be very boring if we were all the same! :)
  • steve51steve51 Member Posts: 7,175 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @issyrh

    Good Morning 😃

    Do you use any adaptive kitchenware ????

    Yes you will be able to cook again if you have the “right tools”

    You need to remain “confident and determined” through the whole process.

    I keep challenging myself and it’s strange how my “brain” adapted.

    You need to take “small steps” in the “beginning”

    Please come back to me if you have any problems????


  • Chloe_ScopeChloe_Scope Scope Posts: 10,652 Disability Gamechanger
    Welcome to the community @issyrh! Growing up with a disability can definitely be daunting. I'm glad you have found the community and I hope you can find others who can relate.

    How are you doing today?  :)
    Community Partner

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  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 9,363 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi and welcome to the community, I can understand your fears but in reality the fact you cant cook isnt a big deal, lots of people that can cook dont and I am sure if the right person comes into your life this wont be a deciding factor and if it is they are not the right person.

    We all have to have hope I became disabled when I was 50 and had also just become seperated but now 3 years on I have found a new partner who accepts me for who I am and what I can do not what I cant do.

    Think positive and I am sure you will have a happy and fullfilled life
  • issyrhissyrh Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Hi @janer1967
    thank you for your reply. I think you’re exactly right on thinking positive and that. I’m glad you’ve found someone who accepts you for you it gives me hope that there are people like your partner out there and hopefully I’ll meet one of those people. 
    Issy 🙂
  • laura222laura222 Member Posts: 84 Pioneering
    Hi @issyrh! Nice to meet you!

    These are concerns and worries that I'm sure a lot of us will share. I certainly had the same worries. Part of the problem is that there have been so few positive examples in the media of people with disabilities living their lives. I found that my attitude towards myself and my expectations for my life drastically changed when I filled my media (particularly social media) with examples of people with disabilities who are just plain awesome. There are plenty of them out there, and here too!

    It may be that society has convinced you that people with disabilities don't have the lives they want, or that people find success 'despite' having a disability. The reality is that people find success with disabilities and experience the same joys, love, passion and success as any other person. Perhaps more - as @chiarieds says it will probably be your differences that make you more interesting.

    If you use Instagram I'd recommend looking up some of the following: @sitting_pretty, @alexwegman, @mylifewithwheels, @mumsonaroll

    There is also my absolute favourite couple on YouTube: Squirmy and Grubs. I don't normally watch vloggers, but they're kind of my guilty pleasure because they're such a funny and adorable couple! I'd also recommend Wheels to Walking on YouTube - he gives great advice and is pretty bada**!
  • Richard_ScopeRichard_Scope Posts: 2,736

    Scope community team

    We are natural problem solvers! There is almost always a different way of doing things. Fear of the unknown is natural and can inspire us to try new things.
    Specialist Information Officer - Cerebral Palsy

    Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
  • issyrhissyrh Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Hi @laura222
    thank you for replying I will search up these Instagram accounts and thank you for sharing them with me.
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