Me — Scope | Disability forum
Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.


Guys, I know some of you have said I'm blunt or not helping in discussions. I'm sorry. Sometimes I say things that people consider unfriendly, but I see them as fine. My mum picked up on it once when I was messaging someone and they said I insulted them. My mum said I had, but I really couldn't see it. It seems I still can't see it.
I don't know whether it's to do with what I have, or if it's just me. 
Sorry for any upset or misguidence I may have caused.


  • Oxonlady
    Oxonlady Member Posts: 459 Pioneering
    AwesomeLorenzo. I think we've all experienced saying something that has not been received well... What I try to do before posting something is to ask myself "how would I feel if someone else said this to me?" Also, we might ask ourselves "is this a kind thing to say?" I believe that kindness counts for a lot, even if it means omitting something from our comments. We should try not to hurt other people's feelings, especially by not making comments that sound accusatory or too personal.
    Most people simply want to get something off their chest, reach out to connect to another human being and not feel so alone or seek specific advice. So there's never any need for abrupt replies. 
    I haven't picked up on your comments being particularly inappropriate. I hope the above helps. 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 15,260 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi there and thank you for explaining to us about some of your comments. 

    Great advice from @Oxonlady, I would just add that being positive is what we try to do on here so members feel they have some hope in what they are trying to achieve.

    We all have different experiences and it is good to share those to make others aware and help them understand a bit more and also that the things they are going through have been experienced other people.

    Take care and see you around
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,598 Disability Gamechanger
    edited July 2020
    Thank you for explaining this. I personally haven't found any of your replies offensive - maybe a tad pessimistic but that is all.

    I would encourage you to continue being yourself - don't try to change just because other people want you to behave a certain way.

    I have noticed people seem to have marked some of your replies as "spam" because they disagree with you which in my opinion is not the correct use for the feature.
  • Awesomelorenzo
    Awesomelorenzo Member Posts: 114 Connected
    As long as I haven't upset anyone. That is not my aim.
    I always look on the bad side, because you can't get any more down once you are rock bottom. If you get your hopes up and it goes wrong or you fail, you feel bad, but if you don't have hopes anyway, you can't feel worse. Make sense?
    It's how I've felt since college and I haven't got a job since last august, so my luck hasn't changed.
    If I got my hopes up for every interview I didn't get, I'd feel like a perminant failure.
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 5,263 Disability Gamechanger
    edited July 2020
    If I got my hopes up for every interview I didn't get, I'd feel like a perminant failure.
    I posted a favourite quote on the thread of that name basically 
    ‘failure is an event, not a person’
    theres another saying that I always abide by and that is
    ’hope for the best but prepare for the worst.’ 

    Just a couple of thoughts on your last post, excuse me.

    “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

    ― Dalai Lama XIV
  • Awesomelorenzo
    Awesomelorenzo Member Posts: 114 Connected
    leeCal said:
    hope for the best but prepare for the worst.’ 

    Yeah, I do that. It's almost feeling sorry for myself. They won't give it to me, why would they give it to me? I always think like that, even if something went well.


Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.